My cousin sent me this e-mail today of kids writing about the ocean.
Having an 8 and 10 year old I can relate. But WTF is up with the cusswords?
Do kids that age really know those words? Cause mine might know them, but they also know if they brought a paper home with that on it I would tan there asses. Anywhoo I thought it was funny.
1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don't have sea
all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like
Emily Richardson She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy
age 8)
6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle
to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off
eating beans. (William age 7)
8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails..
And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen age 6)
9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big
sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give
you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they
have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my
willy small. (Kevin age 6)
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers
can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)
13) On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was
going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired
right up her fat ass. (Jule age 7)
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5 comments:
Two years ago, when my son was in third grade, we went to the spring open house. Each kid had their daily journal on their desk and the teacher was encouraging the parents to flip through it, to see how their writing skills had improved through the school year. She explained that each day she gave them a subject to write about. Suddenly, the mom sitting next to me started laughing hysterically. I looked over her shoulder to see her son's response to "Traditions in my family". He had written, "Every night my dad sits in his chair and scratches his balls". Obviously, the teacher didn't read the journals.
jackied-
That right there is funny!
my girl (9) came home the other day and said that her and her dad had the sex talk so i asked how it went. she said "he said i couldn't have it till i was 27" and that was it. i said good enough.
charliedelta - this family lives down the street, so every time I see "dad" shake someone's hand, I get another laugh.
That's too funny! Reminds me of my Dad when I was growin' up. Me and my friends would be watching Magnum P.I. or the like on a Friday night and my Dad would be passed out in his chair snorin', fartin' and scratchin'. My friends always thought I had the coolest Dad, and they were right.
Those are funny memories that I will take to the grave with me...
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