Where'd That Desk Come From?

Holy crap! I busted my ass all day at work today and just wanted to come home, take a shower and go wind down at the bar tonight chasin' some 'tang, come home and crash out. After I kicked off my shoes and cranked some tunes, I wasn't going anywhere! Fuck that! Who said Spring cleaning has to be done in Spring? I'm gettin' shit done tonight (for once)! This place is a sty, and it's time to do something about it. As long as the tunes and vodka don't run out, I think I'll be in pretty good shape.

I've been letting this place go because I was supposed to be in my new place last August. Hell, I've really let this shitty one-bedroom apartment go to hell. I mean, it's not crawlin' with roaches or anything (well, not the dirty crawley kind of roaches), but there's more than a few layers of dust and cat hair all over the place, old receipts, Christmas gag-gifts from last year and a gaggle of useless crap that I will never have any use for, or have room for. It's time to clean house before I clean house. Thank GOD for metal and vodka to get me through.

I started with my compooter desk because that's where I spend more of my time when I'm actually home. I know. Pretty sad huh? I really should've taken a "before" picture because it was bad. My desk was more of a storage shit-pile for all the crap that I was too lazy to get rid of when I sat down before the monitor, emptied my pockets and started drunk-typing!

My next mission is going to be my dining room table. This is a good example of what my desk looked like before I had some vodka in me and was crankin' metal pissin' off my neighbors. I should drink vodka more often. Maybe I could get my deposit back plus some when I finally GTF out of here! I kicked some ass tonight! Picture a bunch of shit like this all over the place, dust around 1/8" thick, paperwork and random shit everywhere with a twist of Bunker sprawled out over everything getting cat hairs in my keyboard.

Dining Room Table (that hasn't been dined on in over a year):


I forgot there was a desk under all this crap! I knew I was a slacker, but not this much of a slacker. Here the whole time I thought Z had me beat, but he's the fucker who called me on it. Thanks Z. Bastard!

Here's the new no-clutter desk. I really had plans to get more done than this tonight, but it's Friday for cryin' out loud, and I have to be at work early tomorrow. The earlier I get there means the more we get done in a day, which means the sooner I get into the new place and out of this shoebox shithole that I've been in for five years now. Don't get me wrong, I love my neighbors here, but I'm gonna be paying as much in the new place as I am here, but I'll have a 3/1 with a yard and one of my best friends as my "landlord".



The Fingerpicking Bach on the left was put there to reference when I told Denny I was gonna order it and did. I don't know how long ago that was, but after I came home from work and it was there was when the pile of randomness piled up on top of it and everywhere else. Not that I'm blaming Denny for the pile of shit on my desk, it's just when I suddenly became lazy. HA! Yeah, I know I'm a slacker. That's why power chords and I get along so well...

As far as the side arm goes, that was just put there for effect. I hope one day Claudia sends me a picture of herself cruisin' around the house with a piece. I think that would be really cool!

I wear it when I take the trash out, I wear it when I have a fat steak on the grill, I wear it when I'm takin' a leak, I wear it when I answer the door, I wear it when I don't answer the door. For some reason, the left would have you believe I'm some kinda crazy right-winger bent on Bible-thumping or something. That would be the furthest thing from the truth. I wear it because it's my right as an American. I wear it because I have the right to defend myself. I wear it because I f-ing CAN!

No, I'm not paranoid. I wear this thing all around my house because I can. Nothing more, nothing less. If that bothers you, I will take out a loan to buy you a one-way ticket out of the free world, asshole!

Not you Claudia. No one here!

I forgot that there was some kind of bright red porno desk under all that dust and shit!

Where'd that desk come from???