Friday, December 19, 2008

Dating Sucks!

I came really close to getting married about five years ago, but thanks to the good Lord above I dodged that cunt of a bullet. Whew! What a materialistic bitch she was! There is a God!

Since then, I've been on the prowl trying to find that 'perfect' psycho, and I have always found that 'perfect psycho', but not one worth giving my all to. Good things come to those who wait, right?

Living in KKKalifornia where all the women are materialistic whores, tits are fake, personality is fake and they're getting tramp-stamps left and right, I thought I would give eHarmony a chance. That eHarmony dude is always claiming that he's gonna hook some peeps up for cryin' out loud if it's the last thing he does or you get six months of useless bullshit for free. Well, eHarmony dude, you can take your website and stick it where the sun don't shine.

I figured I'd try it out and see what comes of it. What the hell?

I signed up, gave honest answers to the usual stupid questions and then got this in my inbox once again...



I guess they're not really looking for honest answers afterall.

I want my money back!

7 comments:

Paul said...

If I wasn't so fucked up, that probably woodn't be so funni...'j';asdf

labcat said...

that's hilarious. i hate those commercials. *gag* not everyone is meant to have that perfect relationship.

Jackie D said...

Funny. I applaud your honesty and think that there must be other women out there who would appreciate such candor and humor.
Don't waste any more money on that eHarmony crap. You tell a couple of *sane* female friends that you are ready to settle down and that maternal/nurturing urge will take over and they will work tirelessly on your behalf to find you a woman. Work smarter, not harder.

kerrcarto said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! So Dr. Neil Patrick Simon Garfunkle Harris Micheal can't help huh?

Omnibus Driver said...

That kicked over the 'ol giggle box!

Anonymous said...

F'king A dude!!!!

CharlieDelta said...

Paul, you're always fucked up you fuck!

Jackie D, I wish I could take credit for this but it was just an email sent to me. You are right on the money though! I have tried a few of those stupid dating sites out there, but quickly came to the conclusion that I just have to get out there and stay in the game. I would never pay to "meet" someone who is prolly some fat-fuck bastard getting his rocks off on the other end.

kerrcarto, BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHHA! I never knew the dude's name 'cause I always change the channel as soon as that dumb bastard comes on. Fuckin' dumbass sales pitch salesman if you ask me. With a name like that, you would think he's messican't...

Fuckin' A, Vicki! ;-)