Saturday, January 31, 2009

Saturday Oldies

One of my favorite songs from one of my favorite movies.

If you have never watched "A life less ordinary" go pick it up. You will likey.

Everybody's Workin' For The Weekend...

Or At Least I Am...

This weekend has been a great one so far! My eye had been fuckin' with me all week for no reason and when I woke up yesterday it was cleared up for the most part. WTF? It's still dis-colored but not irritating any more. Good sign right there.

What the fuck did eye do?

Z and I haven't jammed in the studio since his wife got back from the sandbox, but last night we fired down a few suds n' buds, dusted off the guitars/amps and drums and ROCKED THE FUCK OUT! It was really good to be back in the studio jammin' with my brother from another mother again. Fucking awesome!

Trooper has to be one of the coolest dog's I have ever met in my time. We had a few beers with Trooper on the patio this morning while he did laps around the house. He's takes big turds and he's not very patient to sit for a picture but he's a badass. He's full of love and at the same time he's full of hate. Not so much hate, but more like instinct. He's a fuckin' Dobie! Trooper might be a spaz, but he's got yer back! Guaranteed! I definately want him on my team.

We shot down South this afternoon and had a scrumptious dinner with my folks.. Roast, Peas, Mashed Taters and Gravy. Fucking YUM! Mom's mashed taters are the best in the world! Hands down the best, and don't try to dispute me on this! You'll lose. Mom is pretty stoked on the new counter tops. I'm stoked for her!

Superbowl Sunday is upon us! Everyone be safe and have a kickass party! Eat lots of food, drink lots of beer and have a great day! We're Americans are we not?

Turn it up or turn it off....

Super Bowl Sunday. It's here! Time to party. I mean, it's not fucking soccer afterall...

Got It.

I got my new shirt in the mail a couple of days ago. Yeah Baby!
PETA can suck it!

How to Convert Cassette Tapes to MP3

Labcat asked me how she can convert her old cassettes to CD. I decided to post here in case anybody else is looking to do this.

1) Pull out your old cassette player. You can use either the headphone jack (1/8" or 1/4" port) or the audio outputs (usually RCA).
2) Identify the line-in port on the back of your computer (usually a single 1/8" port).
3) Purchase the appropriate connector or you may happen to have the right one stuffed in your junk drawer. You won't spend more than $15 at RadioShack.
4) Connect cassette player to your computer, and test by playing a cassette. You should hear it through your computer speakers in stereo.

Now you need software.

5) Download Audacity. It's free (but always good to donate if you like the software).
6) Record to MP3 and store or burn to CD.
7) Crank it up.
8) Drink a cold beer or spark a spliff or both.
9) Repeat No. 8
10) Repeat No. 9

Voila! You just converted all your tapes for less than $15, while everybody else is purchasing USB cassette players with shitty software for about $150. ROFL!!

Here's a how-to video from a friendly English chap.

Friday, January 30, 2009

One for Washington D.C.

I will fight the good fight to the end! Fuck you corrupt government cocksuckers!

Friday Night Anarchy!!

Whoa! What a week, huh? I'm not going to start in on the bullshit goings on up there in Loserville, DC. I think I ranted enough a few days ago over that piece of shit Pelosi, yeah? Thanks to labcat and kerrcarto for the laughs. BWAHAHAH!!!!

I have been in a Rush mood for several days so I think I'll post a song off their latest album, "Snakes & Arrows." And for you Rush fans out there who don't own this album yet, go get it losers!

I dug up some Rush pics online and slapped this video together. I remember this song heading up from Spokane to Kootenay Lake last summer. Great road trip album this is. Crank it up and crack one open. Have a great weekend!

Great New Product

Too bad someone wasn't handing this shit out a few months before Election Day...


Thanks RayVet

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Smoke Free

Lance Armstrong is campaigning for a "Smoke Free Texas". I got news for you ya' one nutted asshole. I am a free man. I will not cowtow to some stupid law that says I cannot smoke in a bar or a restaurant. They are private businesses. They can do as they please. This is Texas, and I am a Texan, the government WILL NOT tell me what I can and cannot do with my own body or in my business. If I want to light up at the Alamo than so be it! FREEDOM! Is that not what our country was founded on?

If my smoke is bothering you, kindly ask me to move or move your own ass. I will be more than happy to oblige as should you. But DO NOT make it against the law for me to have a smoke in a considerate and polite manner.

You liberals with your laws. When will you understand that more laws=more government which=less freedom. Just because YOU chose to live your life a certain way does not give you the right to dictate how I should live mine.

What happened to "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of happiness"? Smoking makes me happy, so by defacto you are taking away one of my constitutional rights by telling me I cannot smoke. What if I told your hippy ass you could not ride a bicycle or eat tofu? Bet you wouldn't go for that shit would ya'?

To all you dickheads that are so self-important and want to rule other people's lives.


Thank You

This is my sincere Thank You to the House Republicans for not one of you casting a vote and for the 12 Democrats that went along with you against the abomination that is the Porkulous Bill that Chocolate Jebus, The Queen Cunt of the Universe© and Fairy Reid are trying to force down the American People's collective throat.

Now the Senate Republicans and Democrats must come together and send this thing to the trash can (like that will happen) or let the Democrats have it to themselves. Call your Senators today and tell them vote no, or your gone in 2010. If we can get them to do this than Obama and the Democrats will own the shit-storm that ensues and we can take back Congress in 2010 and maybe the White House in 2012.

Oh yeah, illegal immigrants will get money in the current version of this bill and that is just the tip of the iceberg that will sink this country.

Give them a ring.

CALL TOLL-FREE: 1-800-965-4701

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Make My Day...

Some good news for once...

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — A Colorado Springs resident will not be charged for fatally shooting an intruder who tried to break into a home that he apparently thought was his, prosecutors said Tuesday.

James Parsons is protected under Colorado's "Make My Day" law, which allows people to use deadly force in self-defense in their home against intruders, according a statement from the 4th Judicial District Attorney's Office.

"Make My Day" law. I love it, except it's pretty sad that we have to have a fucking law allowing someone to use deadly force in self defense. Allowing someone? GMAFB! The law should make it mandatory to use deadly force in self-defense situations. You fucking pansy ass liberals out there are the root problem for having to have a fucking law to allow someone to defend themselves with deadly force. You are the fucking problem period!

Parsons shot 22-year-old Sean Kennedy, an assistant golf pro at a Colorado Springs golf course, on Dec. 28. Kennedy had been drinking that night and apparently thought he was breaking into his own house, which was a block away.

Okay, I don't care how drunk I have been, I've never tried to "break in" to my own house, much less someone else's. What a fucking idiot! A dead idiot. A Dead Kennedy in fact!

Prosecutors said Kennedy broke a window in the back door and was reaching inside to unlock it. Two dogs inside barked persistently as the couple shouted for him to leave. The ordeal lasted more than four minutes.

Four minutes? That's 3 1/2 minutes too long. It wouldn't have lasted more than 30 seconds if that was my house. I wear my sidearm all the time when I'm home. Not paranoid, just prepared.

"A reasonable person in those circumstances would have believed that [Kennedy] was going to do a crime against them or property," said newly elected District Attorney Dan May, who oversaw the review of the shooting.

"A reasonable person..."

Dan May. We need more D.A.'s like you. I commend you for being a rational man with common sense. You obviously aren't a liberal.

Kennedy went to the back of the house, forced open a screen door, smashed a window and was reaching to unlock the deadbolt, investigators said. Parsons then shot at him three times.

Two bullets went through Kennedy's arm and into his torso, May said.

I love happy endings.

James Parsons, I applaud you. You did what every law abiding American should be allowed to do in their own home. You're obviously not a liberal either. If you're ever in San Diego, I would love to buy you a beer and shake your hand. Nice work! You certainly made my day!

UPDATE: Here's the 911 call

Jackie D ask and you shall receive

You asked for it and here at GGDF we pride ourselves in keeping our readers happy.
I have more in the works but I don't know if I can post them here without the Secret Service getting all pissy and coming to my house to investigate me. No it has nothing to do with any assassination bullshit. Let's just say it involves Pelosi, Reid, Frank and an Obama dildo. It will be my first animated gif I have tried. I still have some tweaking to do. Maybe Friday no promises though.

Anywhoo here ya go Jackie.

Update: I had a brain Storm on the way to the office.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

4-Day School Week Headed to a District Near You?

This came hot off the press today. What does one say to something like this? Is there any sanity anywhere at any level in government today? Anywhere? Hello? This proposal is wrong on so many levels.

You want to help schools? Cut out the crap. I'm talking about bureaucrats and labor unions...

...Ah fuck it! What's the point?

I asked my son's teacher not to broadcast the Inauguration in the class room because a state test was scheduled and I told her that the Inauguration had no meaningful place in the life of a 4th grader. She said she wouldn't. But she did it anyway, albeit for only a few minutes. I was really disappointed, especially considering that my son's teacher is HOT!! Anyway, my son then asked me at dinner that night whether or not I liked Obama. I simply told him who he was, and how long his term is, quick summary of the electoral college, and his primary roles, including Commander in Chief. I didn't talk shit. I only informed him of the civics facts and that his own life experiences will form his political opinion when he grows up into a fine young man. I JUST DID FOR HIM WHAT SCHOOLS SHOULD BE DOING!!! I wouldn't have a problem with the teacher showing the Inauguration in class had it not smacked of pure shitpiles of liberal indoctrination!!! Good riddance, liberals. You won't be corrupting this family. Fucking losers.

Here's where public education is headed, folks...

Queen Cunt of the Universe

From Labcat.

It should be obvious to all how much I loathe this woman. She stands for everything I stand against. She's big government. She plays class warfare. She hates the people. She hates her country. She hates the military. She hates individual freedoms and success. If she could have it all her way, we would all end up in concentration camps slaving for her government and her elitist ass pounder pals in San Fransisco. Her birth control comments should stand as proof of everything I just said about her. She does not want any of us to succeed. She needs millions upon millions of "victims" so she can capture a permanent voting bloc that would effectively separate hard-working Americans from their government. I'm not a victim, Pelosi! You will never control me. You represent everything we hate about this reckless government. You bitch!

Update: Looks like Obama is forcing the birth control provision out of the stimulus package because he needs Republican support. This is potentially embarrassing for The Queen Cunt of the Universe, Nancy "Skank" Pelosi.

Update II: I have officially coined Queen Cunt of the Universe. There are no other hits on Google except for this blog. Yeah baby!!!!!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Nancy Pelosi Is a cavernous twat

This fucking skank magnet has popped out five kids!!! 5!!!! And she has the audacity to tell the rest of us that we can stimulate the economy by distributing hundreds of millions of tax dollars worth of condoms! Story here. This apparently aired yesterday on ABC's This Week with George Hippopotamus. It's "stretch" Pelosi. Only this gargantuan syphilis sore can think up shit like this.

This is just the latest in a series of absolute bullshit defecating from Washington, DC. How you like that abortion policy Obama reversed? Yeah, I guess it's OK for US taxpayers to fund abortions overseas. What the fucking hell? What a senseless and most ridiculous piece of legislation. Whether you support abortion or not, none of you should support funding abortions outside of this country. How dare we step onto such a sensitive topic outside of our own borders. What foolish arrogance!

Now Pelosi wants everybody to stop reproducing and Obama wants to kill foreign babies. All in the name of Hope and Change. What a wonderful, heart-warming government we have. More proof that the Democrat Party is the party of oppression and death. I fucking hate you people.

You want to stimulate the economy you sorry government pukes? Start by allowing our own oil & gas companies to explore for resources here at home. Allow construction of nuclear power. Not only will that create jobs but it will stop the flow of American dollars to foreign governments. Wow!!!!! What a fucking concept!!!!! Lower our taxes, especially the corporate tax. That is one of the main reasons why businesses have fled America! Disband and outlaw all labor unions representing public employees. This will keep the politicians honest. Another novel idea!

Close the fucking borders now!!!!!!! Stop providing social and medical services to illegal aliens!!!!! That should be self-explanatory, unless you're a cock slobbering Democrat. Reinstate the Glass Steagall Act and repeal the Sarbanes-Oxley Act!!! Because it's all about smart regulation, not hard regulation.

These are some things that this government could do right the fuck now, and the impact would be felt almost instantly. The bottom line is this: we must shift our resources away from the public sector and back to the private. We do this by promoting a production economy and deporting all illegal aliens. The resulting surplus demand for labor will absorb the 20% of all government employees who should be fired right the fuck now.

But don't expect this government to do the right thing. Because it's about money and power. All of it has become corrupt. These people are fucking sick in the head, especially the Queen Cunt of the Universe, Nancy "Skank" Pelosi. I'm so tired of this ignorant bitch.

I've got a big middle finger aimed right at you, Washington DC!!!

With love,
Paul from Seattle

Was that rant vicious enough for you? Happy Monday!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Tweekers Suck!

Today was a good day. I helped a buddy move a shitload of shit and fit some fishin' time in between. I think there might have been a bass tournament today. I don't know, but I didn't catch shit.

One of these days, I'm gonna get a boat! Something I can tow behind my Tacoma. I would be happpy with a 14' aluminum. Keep it simple stupid!

This came on the radio when I was castin' and you're gonna have to enjoy it too! Unless you hit the back button, which is your perogative.

Tweekers suck!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Saturday Shiner

Well it is here, the 100th Anniversary Shiner Beer. I picked up a six pack at the local liquor store just a few minutes ago and I found these at HEB today. Eat your hearts out. I will be dining on Shiner Sausage and washing it down with some ice cold Shiner 100.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Friday Night Fuck You

My favorite Priest song of all time.

That's where it's at!!

The Obama sensation sweeping the country is the most annoying shit I've ever seen in my life. The actions he took this week should remind all of you trying to give him a chance that this guy plans to ram just about every radical ideal in his mind down our throats. And I promise, you're gonna feel it.

It won't take long for the majority of this country to realize that he is a complete fraud. Smiles, charisma, and articulate masterpieces will only go so far. Substance will creep in. In the end, Obama will look like Robert Tilton.

Yes, the Tiltonmeister. Texans will remember this guy. The fraudulent preacher who stole everyone's money in the name of Jesus and was busted by ABC News back in the early 1990s. This video was an underground tape floating around during the 1980s (we all knew this guy was fucked up well before the news found him out). I ended up with a copy of this thing way way way back. We used to watch it at halftime during each Super Bowl. And after all the crap in Washington, DC this week, this video was the first thing that came to mind. It's fitting, trust me! For you newbies out there, put yer drinks down!

In the name of Hope and Change, Hallelujah!!

Friday Morning Fuck You

Fuck you Robert Reich! As the Magical Negro's economic advisor, I wouldn't expect much less from you, but you really got my blood boiling with this one! What's your fucking problem with white male construction workers? We're the ones that build your highways and bridges. We're the ones that build your homes and sky scrapers. We're the ones that have built everything you take for granted today. You should be fired! You should have your ass severely kicked across my white construction-worker job site. You should be strung up by your balls!

"I am concerned, as I'm sure many of you are, that these jobs not simply go to high skilled people who are already professionals or to white male construction workers" ...

Look for an all out assault on white males in the next four years. This shit is gonna come to a head and when it does, it's not gonna be pretty!

I would love to meet you in person Robert Reich. I would love to meet you in a dark alley with none of your body guards around. All I ask for is five minutes alone...


Thursday, January 22, 2009

WARNING: Poodles Can Be Vicious

We all know the French suck. We all know they're a bunch of ungrateful cowards, but to get your ass kicked by a poodle? That's just down right pathetic. And funny.

Former French President Jacques Chirac was rushed to a hospital after being mauled by his pet dog who is being treated for depression, in a dramatic incident that rattled the ex-president's wife.

Mauled? By a poodle? A depressed poodle?? BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I guess if I was French I would be depressed too.

Fuck you Chirac. I would hope that he took your balls off, but we all know you never had a pair to begin with.

Good Story

I figured with the doom and gloom the last few weeks an uplifting story would do some good.
How many people do you know that are as standup as this dude?


In a supermarket, Kurtis the stock boy, was busily working when a new voice
came over the loud speaker asking for a carry out at register 4. Kurtis was
almost finished, and wanted to get some fresh air, and decided to answer the
call. As he approached the check-out stand a distant smile caught his eye, the
new check-out girl was beautiful. She was an older woman (maybe 26, and he was
only 22) and he fell in love.

Later that day, after his shift was over, he waited by the punch clock to find
out her name. She came into the break room, smiled softly at him, took her card
and punched out, then left. He looked at her card, BRENDA. He walked out only
to see her start walking up the road. Next day, he waited outside as she left
the supermarket, and off ered her a ride home. He looked harmless enough, and she
accepted. When he dropped her off, he asked if maybe he could see her again,
outside of work. She simply said it wasn't possible.

He pressed and she explained she had two children and she couldn't afford a
baby-sitter, so he offered to pay for the baby-sitter. Reluctantly she accepted
his offer for a date for the following Saturday. That Saturday night he arrived
at her door only to have her tell him that she was unable to go with him. The
baby-sitter had called and canceled. To which Kurtis simply said, "Well,
let's take the kids with us."

She tried to explain that taking the children was not an option, but again not
taking no for an answer, he pressed. Finally Brenda, brought him inside to meet
her children. She had an older daughter who was just as cute as a bug, Kurtis
thought, then Brenda brought out her son, in a wheelchair. He was bor n a
paraplegic with Down Syndrome.

Kurtis asked Brenda, "I still don't understand why the kids can't
come with us?" Brenda was amazed. Most men would run away from a woman
with two kids, especially if one had disabilities - just like her first husband
and father of her children had done. Kurtis was not ordinary - - - he had a
different mindset.

That evening Kurtis and Brenda loaded up the kids, went to dinner and the
movies. When her son needed anything Kurtis would take care of him. When he
needed to use the restroom, he picked him up out of his wheelchair, took him and
brought him back. The kids loved Kurtis. At the end of the evening, Brenda
knew this was the man she was going to marry and spend the rest of her life

A year later, they were married and Kurtis adopted both of her children.
Since then they have added two more kids.

So what happened to Kurtis the stock boy and Brenda the check-out girl?
Well, Mr. & Mrs. Kurt Warner now live in Arizona , where he is currently employed
as the quarterback of the National Football League's Arizona Cardinals and has his
Cardinals in the hunt for a possible win in the Super Bowl. Is this a
surprise ending or could you have guessed that he was not an ordinary person.

It should be noted that he also quarterbacked the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI. He has also been the NLF's Most Valuable Player twice and the Super Bowl's Most Valuable Player.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Liberals Care About The Environment

Yeah, you know the ones. The one's that implement a deposit on all of my beer cans and bottles in an effort to force me to recycle. The same assholes who are always clogging the streets of America on "Earth Day" claiming that they want to "clean up mother earth". The same moronic dipshits who think that plastic grocery bags are destroying the environment. The same moonbat morons who voted for the Magical Negro. The same approximated two million that showed up in D.C. to watch the circus yesterday.

Yeah those ones...

Look at this shit! Nothing but a bunch of hypocritical animalistic assholes! Although by the looks of the bunches that turned out, I suppose I should congratulate them on at least leaving D.C. cleaner than their own homes and yards.

–noun 1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.

Yeah, that sounds about right...

I stole the picture from here.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Velociman bare knuckled

Velociman, has a good rant on today's festivities and the Ubama's in general.
This is a rare post of his for me, as I did not need a dictionary.

I think I just got banned from the Cowboys online fan club!!

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! The editors of just locked me out of my profile - seattlefan. I haven't been getting along with any of the other Cowboys fans lately because they interpret my screen name as being a Seattle Seahawks fan, even though I have always been a die-hard Cowboys fan by birthright. I like the Seahawks, too, ya whiny bunch of little bitches. Cowboys fans attack any online participant if they sniff out potential of support for any other team. I don't know who is more insufferable; whiny Cowboys fans or whiny Eagles fans. Both teams have lots and lots to whine about right now that's for sure. And this fan is pretty pissed off, too.

Anyway, I dropped this bomb on the Cowboys web site about two hours ago and a few members got really pissed at me. The topic was concerning recent comments Tony Romo made about how winning a Super Bowl is no big deal for him if he doesn't win one. Probably not the sort of comments to make if you are a Dallas Cowboys quarterback. So I dropped this turd on the web site.

Jessica needs to pull Tony's head up from between her thighs so he can catch some air. Damn dude. If I was a Dallas Cowboys Quarterback then all I would ever think about is winning the Super Bowl! Unless he develops a championship spirit, the Cowboys will never rise from mediocrity. If you don't want that championship bad enough, then get back down there and start lickin'. Next!

uh, probably not one of my finer moments online. Think I deserved to be banned from the Cowboys True Blue fan forum for life? One commenter called me tasteless, another one crude. Another one told me to get lost and find a Seahawks web site. Awesome.

Go Hawks!!!!! BWAHAHAH!!!

Let's take a ride in the way back machine

I tuned into Rush as soon as I thought it was safe and this is what I heard.

Benediction at Obama 's inauguration, Rev. Joseph Lowery:

'Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around... when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right. That all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen. Say Amen'...

Did we somehow time travel back to the 50's and 60's? WTF is this crackpot talking about? When was the last time you shoved a blackie to the back of the bus, kicked a brownie out of your workplace or bashed in an Indians (feather not dot) skull and gave his children a chicken pox infested blanket?

I mean, I did last week. But I am wondering about y'all.

Some how they left out the part about the "yellow people can start to mellow" in the text I copied, which is fine with me, because those people make me sick. They look all jaundiced, and that is just nasty.

If this is the kind of dipshittery we have to look forward too for the next four years. Jebus help us indeed. All you dipshits that voted for Obama on the mantra of change, well you got it, we just jumped back 40 years and whitey is out to get all of you weird colored people.

Watch your back blue man group, cause we're coming for you next.



I got to work this morning, checked my e-mails and got settled in for the day. I usually crank on Glenn Beck from 9-11 than Rush from 11-2. But since today is inauguration day, and I don't really give a shit about the coronation of the Obamessiah. I cranked up iTunes and cruised over to my favorite streaming radio station. Rock&Roll.FM. It was 10:00 on the dot. That would be the same time that the coronat..err.. inauguration is set to begin. This song came on as soon as the stream buffered. I thought it fitting.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Quitting Smoking Sucks!

Well, I'm about 20 days later than planned, but I think I'm going to try my luck at quitting smoking again. Cigarettes that is. Boy, what an uphill battle! I've been a daily smoker since I was 15 years old. Both my parents smoked and I think they finally got tired of having to give me the "smoking is bad for you" routine every time I got caught with a pack or came home absolutely reeking of smoke. They knew no matter what they threatened me with, I was going to do it anyway.

When I was around ten my Dad busted me in the back yard smoking one of his butts that I snaked from the ash tray. He was sure he was gonna teach me a lesson by going out and buying a fat cigar and make me smoke the whole thing in front of him. I'm sure that trick prolly worked on some kids but not me. Maybe Dad didn't notice, but I didn't even know how to inhale smoke yet, so it didn't make me sick. My brother still laughs today, because when I was done I asked if I could have another. DOH! I think the first time I inhaled I was about 13. Oh man, did that give me a major buzz. I never really smoked to be "cool" I just liked it. Maybe when I was in high school I thought it made me look "cool", but for the most part, just inhaling smoke in and out of my lungs felt good and always gave me something to do if I was bored. I smoke the most when I'm driving. It just feels natural.

Cold turkey was and will never be an option for me, unless the doctor tells me I'm going to die. Maybe not even then. I'm hooked, lined and sinker'd that's for damn sure. I thought I 'wanted' to quit in 2002. I started jogging and wearing the patch. I chewed on straws and toothpicks. I cut way down on my drinking and tried to stay away from that oh so great smell of cigarette smoke in the rain. I made it nine days before I broke down and bought a pack. I think I knew I was going to deviate from the plan when I got up and put on the stupid patch that morning. I've tried a couple more times since then with the patch, but I never even made it one lousy day.

It's like they say; "you have to want to quit". Apparently I don't wanna quit yet 'cause none of this shit has worked! I tried the gum (tasted worse than an ashtray), I've tried the pills (made my face swell up like a melon, and I've tried the patch. At least the patch allowed my lungs 9 days vacation.

I know some people who have done the hypnotism thing and it worked. My Mom quit in 1995 and has never looked back. She did it thorough some kind of mass group hypnotism. My Dad went to the same one with her, but it didn't take. He went back a second time and it still didn't take. He was still chain toking up until his heart attack last August. If it has anything to do with stubbornness I am screwed! My mom has always told me that I inherited the stubborn gene from my dad. I don't challenge her on that one because she's right. Mom's usually are...

So my buddy Dave sent me this link of a new form of hypnotism currently being tested.

So far, so good!

It's been very effective...

(NSFW by the way...)

3 Stooges

A co-worker from my road rating days sent me this.

Only a handful of hours until the chocolate jesus takes office. Can't you just feel the hope and change already?

It is about fucking time.

You are two years late and a couple of hundred thousand dollars short, but you finally grew the balls to do it.
Ramos and Compean have finally had their sentences commuted.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Sunday With Pops;

What a bitchen day! I live for these days. Time with my dad is worth more than gold to me and I value every second I get to spend with him. My dad fucking rules!

I actually got to sleep in today 'cause Dad was runnin' late after church and I even had time to fire down a couple before he showed up. Heh heh! He used to give me shit when I was late and I prolly should've given him some shit this time, but no shit was given. Should've, could've, would've... didn't!

I was gearin' to go when he got here and we shot down to the iron pay-station at Murray and payed for our permits. I haul way more trash of of Murray than I bring in so I normally don't permit. Dad is a stickler for that shit, so this time I did. I like to say we're even, but Dad is a stickler for that kind of shit. I guess it goes to a good cause. It was good that I did this time, cause the City of San Diego tough guy saw our cans on the ground and automatically assumed we didn't permit. WRONG BITCH!

I've known for some time now that you're not supposed to drink at Murray, but there are no signs posted by the ball fields so I'm claimin' ignorance. Even if the douche wanted to do something, he doesn't have the authority to write us a ticket. Write away rent-a-cop! By the time the cops show up (if they actually show up) I'll be long gone asshole. Catch me if you can.

I warned my dad about the alcohol prohibition and he laughed. I guess the sticklery only goes so far. Buy the permit, drink some beer. Works for me! Right on Dad!

It prolly didn't help that when the City dude drove by he saw this. He asked if we had permitted and we said "yes" at the same time. He went right for me thinkin' I didn't and I busted it out of my pocket and handed it to him. FUCK YOU DUDE! Why don't you hassle the messicans jumpin in the water? Ya know, the ones you have to keep telling to stay out of the water? Yeah, them.

The friggin' date is in bold at the bottom of the stub IN BIG LETTERS, but this asshole took a good minute to look over the City Permit and make sure I wasn't blowin' smoke up his ass. This is a shitty picture, but even blurry I can still read it.

Jan 18, 2009.

It's at the bottom in bold asshole! If you're gonna hassle people, shouldn't you know WTF you're hassling them about? Get a real job, dickhead! Better yet, how about you learn English? Sorry, there's no Tecate here Pedro. Jus' me and Dad fishin. What's the fucking problem?

It's always great watching Dad cast out there.

BTW, Jesus Just Left Chicago in case you didn't know...


Just a thought

If America killed all the bad guys in the world and freedom took hold in every continent of the planet. Wouldn't that solve our immigration problem? I mean if you immigrated here because your native country is a third world toilet and suddenly, like in the flash of an eye, or just a big flash let's say, freedom spread there, wouldn't you go back?

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Saturday Sessions

IMHO this beats Johnny Cash's version. I know. I know...sacrelidge and all. But hey what can I say.

Keen on Paul and CD

Some more for ya brothers.

Obama has already discredited himself

Associated Press: Obama hosting pricey party in a dicey economy

Unemployment is up. The stock market is down. Let's party.

The price tag for President-elect Barack Obama's inauguration gala is expected to break records, with some estimates reaching as high as $150 million. Despite the bleak economy, however, Democrats who called on President George W. Bush to be frugal four years ago are issuing no such demands now that an inaugural weekend of rock concerts and star-studded parties has begun.

Obama's inaugural committee has raised more than $41 million to cover events ranging from a Philadelphia-to-Washington train ride to a megastar concert with Beyonce, U2 and Bruce Springsteen to 10 official inaugural balls. Add to that the massive costs of security and transportation — costs absorbed by U.S. taxpayers — and the historic inauguration will produce an equally historic bill.

The inauguration was a golden opportunity for the President to walk his talk. He could have proceeded with a simple inauguration and sent a clear message to the country. Talk about a missed opportunity. He would have garnered a lot of respect, even from those who did not vote for him.

But noooooo!!!! The hypocrisy and lunacy only continues in Washington, DC. I was actually going to give Mr. Obama a chance and see how it goes. Notice I haven't been very critical of him these last couple of months. But I'm off that train already, and he hasn't even been sworn in, yet!!! Friends, we are F-U-C-K-E-D!!!

With an inauguration gala of such epic proportions when all these people know how deep in shit this country is, I really have lost all respect for this government. It is on a self-destructive path. Fuck 'em all!! "Change we can believe in." Please. We're paying $150 million for these cannibalistic self-righteous government moonbats to love on each other for a few nights. That's pretty sick. Lots and lots of people are getting laid off right now. You government freaks are sending a really bad message, and it will come back to haunt you I promise.

The United States government thinks it is recession-proof. I got news for you: You're fucked, too. Just wait. That light at the end of the tunnel is a train and it's moving fast.


I got a call from my Pops last night when we were raging at the Pinnacle Peak bar and he was goin' off about Lake Murray and fishing on Sunday. If you know me, you know that I will never pass on a chance to go fishin' with my Dad. I've always been the black sheep in my family, but my Dad and me seriously connect when we're fishin. It's the most favorite thing of mine that I can think of. There's a lot of things I could give up, but quality time with Dad is not one of them.

I woke up this morning and realized that I hadn't got an '09 fishing license yet. Shit! I hauled ass up to Turners for a new one hoping to get my camera back from Z in the process. Z wasn't home. (WTF guyeee?)

When I got back from the mission, I walked across the street in anticipation of roping a fat bass. I didin't rope a bass or anything for that matter. Nada. Shit! Shit, but I did have a fine view.

I did, however get to relax in the baking sun while enjoying a beer and some ZZ Top on the radio..

I am stoked that Dad is fired up to go fishin' tomorrow.

This is from the condo side of Murray.

The East side of Murray. That beer was very enjoyable in case you were wondering...

Watchin' girls on roller blades is pretty bitchen too...

Blue was working for me the last time I fished this spot but this time blue gave me the middle finger. Blue said, "fuck you".

Gotta know yer waters...


The daughter went and got her hair chopped off today. She has been growing it out for about a year now.
We are going to send it to wigs for kids. They make wigs for kids that are going through chemotherapy and have lost their hair. My heart breaks everytime I see a kid that has to deal with the ravages of cancer at such a young age.

Message To Kalifornia

You suck! You always have and you always will... I dedicate this one to you KA.

Fuck. You.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Friday Night Unknown

I found this song in my iTunes library tonight. I forgot I even had it.

Friday Night Fuck You

I have met Robert Earle Keen in person on three occasions. Him, his wife and their kids are golden.
We fix his macs, on the rare occasion that they screw up.

Fall Down Friday

It's Friday and y'all know what that means? Party time. I'm heading to the bar tonight with some friends and plan on getting a really great buzz on. Hell, I might even look like one of these dudes at the end of the night.

Happy Friday folks!

Friday Night Anarchy!

Well, I guess it's time we usher in the Anointed One. The Messiah. I feel a tingling sensation already.

MY EARS!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! WTF!! How many seconds did y'all last? I didn't make it to 30 seconds.

Alright here's the real deal. And you don't have to tell me that Zach de la Rocha is a liberal freakazoid. I already know that. But I don't hold artists' political delusions against them because it's all about the music and having a good time, and cracking some cold ones!

"Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!" That's my creed for these next four years. You government scrotum scrubbers can fuck off.

A liberal's wet dream.

Our spies here at GGDF (they are everywhere, watch yourselves) got their hands on the new "Smart Cars" that the Obama administration will be forcing us to drive.

But look at all the great new choices we will have!

The Smorvette. Sporty!

The Smaudi A3 AWD!

The Smamborghini!

The Smorsche!

The Smorsche Targa!

And last, but not least,

The Smerrari!

I would hate to hit an armadillo in one of those stupid smart cars, much less another car. Hell, a deer would total it. But it doesn't matter. We are all going to be walking or riding bicycles soon anyway.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Bush's Speech Tonight

The Shrub is set to give his farewell address to the nation tonight at 8pm est. Reports are that it is 15 minutes long, you would think summing up 8 years of a United States Presidency would take a little longer. That is not so. He could do it in 15 seconds. This (IMHO) is how the speech should go. I will even put them in order for him.

Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Talk Radio, The Press, Harry Reid again.
Your welcome George, as always, I'm here to help.

Henry Waxman

I just saw this posted on Drudge and couldn't help myself.

Is this not the ugliest mother fucker you've ever seen in your life? Not only that, this guy is a complete dickhead. He issues more subpoenas than New York does parking tickets. After all, he stands for accountability. Yeah, right. Asshole! You're a political communist hack just like the rest of the subhuman trash in your Party. A true enemy of the people. No wonder honest, hard working Americans are fleeing California.

This fuckwad is living proof that most members of Congress rose from the oozy bottom of the human gene pool. If you ever feel the need to barf, just imagine Al Franken, Barney Frank, and Henry Waxman having buttsex with Hillary Clinton.

Update! Holy Shit! Kerrcarto just found a pic of Henry Waxman speaking at an ACORN convention!

I just spilt me beer! Good one, kerrcarto!

A great way to start the day

Ya know sometimes you wake up in the morning get dressed sit down with a cup of coffee and peruse the websites you frequent to catch up on the overnight events and you come across a headline that instantly makes your day. Today is one of those days for me. I came across this and it made all my worries fade away to laughter.

Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Tampa Bay

Loose Monkey Known To Throw Feces Evades Authorities

Known for throwing feces? How many times have they delt with this nasty shit flinging primate?

CLEARWATER, Fla. (AP) - Wildlife officials said a rhesus monkey known to throw feces when mad is on the loose in Tampa Bay. Authorities have been trying to capture the primate since Tuesday afternoon, but it managed to evade a bucket truck and tranquilizer dart.

Evaded a bucket truck and a tranquilizer dart? They better watch out with skills like that it could be one of those elusive ninja monkeys. You do not fuck with those.

Gary Morse with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says the adult male is thought to have escaped from an unlicensed source. It was last seen in Clearwater.

The monkey is not considered dangerous.

He is flinging shit a people and can pretty much dodge bullets. Nah, nothing to worry about folks, unless you don't like monkey shit in your hair. Then you got problems. You should probably board yourself in your house until the crisis is over.

Balls O' Steel

This looks like some major fun if you happen to have the stones to do it. Personally, I'm not a big fan of heights, although I've sky dived (sky doven?) to try and get over it. In case you're wondering, it didn't work...

I still hate heights.

I've experienced terminal velocity and I would prefer it over any roller coaster known to mankind, but I would never have the balls to kiss the mountain side like these dudes do.

These motherfuckers are crazy, but damn this looks like some serious fun if you ask me...

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

How it all began

My uncle sent me this.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:

1. The invention of beer, and

2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer, and the beer to the man.

These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals

2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the
elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals also invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production.
Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.......

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

HR 45- The Change Keeps Coming & It Still Stinks Like Shit...

My brother sent this one to me. It's pretty disturbing if you look at the things to come with HR 45. Stock up now before it's too late for you exercise your Second Amendment rights or God forbid, be able to protect yourselves and your families. This is the beginning of the end if gun owners don't step up to the plate right fucking now and quash this pile of HR 45 bullshit!

"The bill looks particularly nasty. Some bits":
1. Require licensing for anybody that owns a gun.

2. Would require photographs and a thumbprint
3. Would require passage of a test that (you guessed it) requires the following:
(A) the safe storage of firearms, particularly in the vicinity of persons who have not attained 18 years of age;
-How about teaching your children proper gun safety as soon as they can retain it? Why isn't firearm safety taught in grade school? Why isn't there a sniper team for seniors in high school? Why are liberals so hell bent on blaming the weapon instead of the perp?

(B) the safe handling of firearms;
-This, I have no fucking problem with. In fact, I suggest it! Firearm Safety is the glue that has helped us sustain as long as we have. There are too many dumbasses out there that shouldn't be in possesion of a spork, much less a firearm, and they are the assholes who pull the rug from under us.

(C) The use of firearms in the home and the risks associated with such use;
-"Such use"? What exactly do you define as an actual time when I can use the 'proper' "such use" clause? So now there are rules how to use what I have to defend me and/or my family? Who the hell are you to tell me the "use" that I choose to use? Who in the hell do you think you are? Look up "Liberty" in Webster's you ignorant fuck!

As a Senator, you suck ass. Not all of you but most of you. You swore that you would "support and defend The Constitution of The United States" against foreign and domestic assholes. What part of that didn't you grasp? What part of that didn't you take serious? What part of that didn't you habla'"?

I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God.

(D) the legal responsibilities of firearms owners, including Federal, State, and local laws relating to requirements for the possession and storage of firearms, and relating to reporting requirements with respect to firearms; and
-And...? And another plethora of bullshit regulation on legal gun owners that will stop ZERO murders and only punish legal gun owners. Why do liberals miss this one? It's so fucking simple!

(E) any other subjects, as the Attorney General determines to be appropriate;
-"as the Attorney General determines to be appropriate"? Now that really takes the cake. Determines to be appropriate. That's really cute. Did I just read that right? I can remember the last time this asshole Attorney General determined what was appropriate. Lot's of Americans died a horrible death in Waco, Texas. Women and children. I thought you libtards actually cared about that shit?

(One more time):
I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God.

I know I'm gettin' long winded so I'll wind this down, but if you're so inclined, This Dude wants you to know what cards are being dealt, and he's spot on!

Remember this one? I'll never fuggin' forget it! the Attorney General determines what is appropriate

Change is comin'. I guarangotdamntee-it. Will you be ready? I will.

Change you can believe in

Hardline demonstrators burn posters of U.S. President-elect Barack Obama, during a demonstration in support of the people of Gaza, in front of the Swiss Embassy in Tehran January 13, 2009.

Oh I mean, damn racist terrorists.

Atlas Shrugged

It's time for some of you economic toddlers to get a grip on what's going down. The author's name is Ayn Rand, a Russian who emigrated to the United States in 1925. The book is entitled, Atlas Shrugged. This is required reading. It has 1,000 pages but you won't be able to put it down. This is hands down one of the most significant pieces of literature in our era. And now is the best time to read it because you will be able to relate the story to real-time events. I really can't think of a more appropriate period of time to start reading this, and I'm going to pick up my copy and read it again myself. Are you ready to open your eyes?

Denny posted something on this yesterday and links to a very well written article in the Wall Street Journal.

Monday, January 12, 2009

President Bush's Achievements

We'll say farewell to President Bush here in eight days. What a turbulent period in American history this has been, pinnacled by the September 11 attacks. I have been very critical of him during most of this period, to say the least. Regardless, there have been some positive notes worthy of mention, and this article written by Fred Barnes I think is fair. He summarizes his opinion of Bush's 10 best achievements. I would like to comment on the article in a very unprofessional, illiterate manner because I don't pretend to be as smart as Mr. Barnes or President Bush for that matter. But hey, I still got something to say, and damnit my opinion counts!

[Mr. Bush's] decision in 2001 to jettison the Kyoto global warming treaty so loved by Al Gore, the environmental lobby, elite opinion, and Europeans. The treaty was a disaster, with India and China exempted and economic decline the certain result. Everyone knew it. But only Bush said so and acted accordingly.

No shit! India and China were two of the fastest growing economies during this decade and generated growing carbon emissions at an exponential rate year-over-year. To exempt these two economies, while the rest of us are forced to scale back is patently unfair and provides India and China with an unfair competitive advantage. They pollute while we suffer. Fuck that!! The bullshit man-made global warming agenda must scam all nations, not just the select few coveted by the world. Totally agree with this one: 1-1

Second, enhanced interrogation of terrorists. Along with use of secret prisons and wireless eavesdropping, this saved American lives. How many thousands of lives? We'll never know. But, as Charles Krauthammer said recently, "Those are precisely the elements which kept us safe and which have prevented a second attack."

Yup, and I don't think President Bush went far enough. Force-feed them pork while Barney Frank sodomizes their ass! They'll start singing like birds. But in all seriousness, there is no denying that President Bush deserves enormous credit for maintaining our security since September 11. The events leading up to September 11, however, I don't think can be fairly placed on his back, as I am a firm believer that the Clinton Administration squarely owns that responsibility. 2-2

Bush's third achievement was the rebuilding of presidential authority, badly degraded in the era of Vietnam, Watergate, and Bill Clinton. He didn't hesitate to conduct wireless surveillance of terrorists without getting a federal judge's okay. He decided on his own how to treat terrorists and where they should be imprisoned. Those were legitimate decisions for which the president, as commander in chief, should feel no need to apologize.

The country is trending towards judicial tyranny. The President showed some balls this decade by bypassing the courts and getting the job done. Courts have an agenda, and so does our President. The problem is, the courts have a sinister agenda that does not keep our country's best interest in mind. ACLU anybody? 3-3

Achievement number four was Bush's unswerving support for Israel. Reagan was once deemed Israel's best friend in the White House. Now Bush can claim the title.

I remember when Bush ordered Israel to cease construction of the wall separating Israel from Palestine. Meanwhile, we were bombing anything that moved in Afghanistan. So let me get this straight, we can bomb the fuck out of whoever is threatening us, but Israel can't build a fucking fence. I also remember Bush ordering Israel to halt military engagements on several occasions early during the Presidency. Mr. Bush got it right later on down the road, but his record shows otherwise between 2000 and 2004. It seems that we require Israel to seek our blessing when it comes to their national defense. Uh, Israel can do whatever the fuck it wants regarding its own defense. We certainly do. 3-4

His fifth success was No Child Left Behind (NCLB), the education reform bill cosponsored by America's most prominent liberal Democratic senator Edward Kennedy. The teachers' unions, school boards, the education establishment, conservatives adamant about local control of schools--they all loathed the measure and still do. It requires two things they ardently oppose, mandatory testing and accountability.

In the spirit of anti-Federalism, what the hell to say on this one? And furthermore, anything Kennedy touches cannot be good for the country. Period. Drunk asshole. 3-5

Sixth, Bush declared in his second inaugural address in 2005 that American foreign policy (at least his) would henceforth focus on promoting democracy around the world.

You know what? Our foreign policy should focus on leaving the world the fuck alone! It should focus on sealing our borders with enough military equipment and troops to scare away all lifeforms including insects. Leave us the fuck alone and we'll leave you the fuck alone! You wanna come to America? Stand in line assholes! The notion that we can make the world a better place by kicking ass and forcing our ideology upon a bunch of barbaric cultures is completely insane! As far as our current campaigns go, we're already there so let's win, and I will not discount the sacrifices made by our brave men and women in uniform. President Bush has supported our military and should be respected. 4-6

The seventh achievement is the Medicare prescription drug benefit, enacted in 2003. It's not only wildly popular; it has cost less than expected by triggering competition among drug companies. Conservatives have deep reservations about the program. But they shouldn't have been surprised. Bush advocated the drug benefit in the 2000 campaign. And if he hadn't acted, Democrats would have, with a much less attractive result.

Oh God! You've got to be fucking kidding me. I've ranted about this bullshit before and so I won't do it again here. To sum it up, though, we are $10 trillion in national debt! This is one of the main issues that cost the Republicans most of its power and maybe its future. 4-7

Then there were John Roberts and Sam Alito.

Absolutely! Justice Roberts kicks ass. And the Republicans actually did something right by forcing Harriet Miers to withdraw her nomination, which subsequently led to the nomination and confirmation of Justice Samuel Alito. Don't have to elaborate more here. 5-8

Bush's ninth achievement has been widely ignored. He strengthened relations with east Asian democracies (Japan, South Korea, Australia) without causing a rift with China. On top of that, he forged strong ties with India. An important factor was their common enemy, Islamic jihadists. After 9/11, Bush made the most of this, and Indian leaders were receptive. His state dinner for Indian prime minister Manmohan Singh in 2006 was a lovefest.

Fine. And remember that the Australians and Japanese both helped support our Iraq and Afghanistan campaigns. 6-9

Finally, a no-brainer: the surge.

I guess my primary gripe about this is why the fuck wasn't it performed sooner? How many lives could we have saved? Mute point now I guess. My best buddy from college just returned home after six years in combat. He says that the surge won the war for us in Iraq. I am so happy he is home, and his wife is pregnant with their first child. Seal our victory and then bring all our brave men and women home! We love you all and we are so grateful for your service. God bless America! 7-10

What's that old saying? "7 out of 10 ain't bad!" Look, I know this post is getting too long so I'll go ahead and conclude it here. There are issues that President Bush really fucked up on, including immigration policy and the incarceration of agents Compean & Ramos. I've always been on the fence with President Bush. I voted for him twice. But these last four years have been very difficult for me. Even though my life is much better than it was in 2000, our country as a whole certainly is not. I believe President Bush is an honest and decent man. I hope he retires in peace and stays far far away from politics for the rest of his life.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Monday's Suck...

President Clinton is a mo-ther-fuckin' dick...

Sunday Funnies for Paul

Texas Judge gives 7 year old right to decide custody.

Dallas , TX , December 31, 2008

A seven year old boy was at the center of a county courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy had a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Dallas Cowboys, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

At least they got rid of Pac-Man Jones. He was a superficial little momma's boy. As most profesional athletes are nowdays.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Monkeying Around

I went up to the local liquor store (CD you know the one) I walked in and said hello to Cody, the owner, I walked back to the cooler to grab a sixer of Shiner Bock and lo and behold there it was, a $12 six pack.I asked Cody if he had tried it and he affirmed that he had and that it was pretty good. So I bit the bullet and bought it. I have to say it is a very good beer. If you get the chance go pick yourself up some. Just be warned it is a 9.5 beer and it packs a wallop.

Now to grill some brats, drink some Golden Monkey and rock out.

UPDATE: Kicked my ass! I had six beers and was in bed by 10:00 (amendum: my wife informed me that it was more like 8:50, damn).
Do not underestimate the Golden Monkey.

Friday Night Little Big Town

For some reason I'm in a really mellow mood tonight. When I clocked out today I was feeling pretty agro and wanted to crank some punk rock music full blast, but this seems a little more appropriate right about now.

The harmony fucking rules the earth and the wimmin singing back up vocals is what it's all about. I hope to be involved in a band like this one day...

Friday, January 9, 2009

Friday Night Fuck You

As the man said. This goes out to anyone that has ever installed their own stereo.

Spinning & Spending Way Out of Control

Hi all. I know I've been quiet since the New Year. I've actually been I guess what you call "laid off" since the beginning of the year. To protect the guilty, I won't reveal my company name or specific profession, but I am in the real estate business. And we don't earn salary. We are paid on a commission basis. So when the company runs out of work, so do its employees. The good news is I have two projects I'm starting up on Monday so play time is over. But this last week or two have been relaxing. Kids back in school while I have been catching up on sleep. Lots and lots of it, too! Hell, my oldest woke me up on the couch when he walked in from school yesterday. I'm a loser. Ha! But I've also squeezed in a small house project and finished some much needed maintenance on one of my cars. I'm also giving a presentation to one of the real estate associations here in Seattle later this month, and the topic is Puget Sound housing trends from 2000 to present. So I've been doing some ninja number crunching and PowerPoint action in preparation. Yawwwwwwwwn. That shit is probably what has put me to sleep during the day. But it's time to kick 2009 into high gear.

So I hear that the current national unemployment rate is 7.2%. And President Bush wants to pursue the remaining $700 billion in bail-out money before the next Administration or he'll use his veto power. Ooooohhhhhh. I'm really scared. Good riddance dude. You'll be remembered in the same sentence with Herbert Hoover.

What to say about this bail-out money? Well, for starters, we're chasing bad money with borrowed money, which will only lead to more bad money. Now this probably wouldn't be the case if our national debt was some reasonable obstacle to overcome. But you know what? Check this shit out. I put our national debt clock on the side of our blog towards the bottom, and it's pathetic. $10.6 trillion. I can't even fathom that much money, and now is the time to ask what the fucking point is. After all the bail-outs thus far, we've been told that banks aren't spending it; the Treasury won't tell us who loaned what to whom; bailed-out homeowners still aren't paying their mortgages; automotive sales continue to decline, and the unemployment rate continues to increase. So about the only real change we've seen from these bail-outs is a decline in the US dollar value and an increase in the unemployment rate. And now the government wants to spend even more: $700 billion in remaining legislatively approved bail-out money plus another $1 trillion from the planned Obama stimulus package. Sorry, but the only thing you sorry fucks in DC are stimulating is public unrest and more really crappy economics. How are we supposed to even start paying this shit back? HOW??!!! And it's not even working, but wait!!! If only we spend even more!!! You fucking kidding me? What was that definition of insanity proposed by Einstein? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result? Something like that?

The bottom line is jobs. If that national unemployment level approaches 10% and continues to climb, we are in deep deep shit. Ain't no amount of imaginary money spent in DC will fix that. You historians can point to FDR but I'll just laugh at you. World War II and the subsequent, massive global demand for US-manufactured durable goods lifted us from the Great Depression, not rampant government spending. Won't happen again, though. You know why? Because China makes all our shit now!! Do we even mass produce a single fucking bolt in this country today? I know we produce lots of nuts, though! Fucking A!!!!

So take care of your own my friends. Get your house in good order because the government abandoned us a long time ago. It is on a self-destructive path and I say, "Burn mother fuckers!" I gotta admit that I can't wait to watch the Democrat Party eat itself these next couple of years. They'll eventually fall and burn just like the loser Republicans. They all suck. In hindsight, maybe Ron Paul was really onto something.