Ya know sometimes you wake up in the morning get dressed sit down with a cup of coffee and peruse the websites you frequent to catch up on the overnight events and you come across a headline that instantly makes your day. Today is one of those days for me. I came across this and it made all my worries fade away to laughter.
Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Tampa Bay
Loose Monkey Known To Throw Feces Evades Authorities
Known for throwing feces? How many times have they delt with this nasty shit flinging primate?
CLEARWATER, Fla. (AP) - Wildlife officials said a rhesus monkey known to throw feces when mad is on the loose in Tampa Bay. Authorities have been trying to capture the primate since Tuesday afternoon, but it managed to evade a bucket truck and tranquilizer dart.
Evaded a bucket truck and a tranquilizer dart? They better watch out with skills like that it could be one of those elusive ninja monkeys. You do not fuck with those.
Gary Morse with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says the adult male is thought to have escaped from an unlicensed source. It was last seen in Clearwater.
The monkey is not considered dangerous.
He is flinging shit a people and can pretty much dodge bullets. Nah, nothing to worry about folks, unless you don't like monkey shit in your hair. Then you got problems. You should probably board yourself in your house until the crisis is over.