What a ride this was. But it's time to climb down this mountain. I have been a nonstop mother fucker since two Wednesdays ago or as Hammer would say, "Bitch, we've been drinking since 9:00........yesterday!!" Would just like to say how very cool it was to see everybody again and meet new faces as well. Good times!!
So y'all wanna know the shit I got into after Blownstar? Well here it goes...
JackieD (you are such a babe I think the world of you!) drives my drunk ass to New Braunfels last Sunday. My buddy Robert grabs my stuff and throws me in the car and we head north to Lake Travis in Austin where our good buddy, Big E, has a sweet pad right on the lake. So we tilt back a few and take some bong hits and then hopped into his Malibu for some lake action. We end up at this party called Titties and Beer!! Bunch of strippers partying down on this party barge and we tie up next to this thing. Guys, there really is no way to describe this party except, well, titties and beer!! I'm in the water and Big Mike yells out, "Hey Jackson! You know what's on that boat? Herpes simplex, Herpes duplex, and Herpes complex!!" ROFL!!!!!!!!!!! My God that was some party. So we head back that night and did our traditional get fucked up and drunkenly sing country songs all fuckin' night!!
Monday was all about swimming in the water, drinking more beer, and riding the jet skis. We grilled some of the most badass fajitas you've ever eaten.
Tuesday rolls around and me, Robert, and Big Mike pack a cooler full of beer and head over to the Salt Lick, the absolute best BBQ you've ever ever ever ever eaten!! So we roll the cooler into the restaurant and proceed to stuff our faces and drink lots of beer!!! Robert and I then head back to New Braunfels for power naps. The evening rolls around and its on again!!! We head over to Gruene for women, whiskeys, beer, and Two Tons of Steel!!! You haven't lived until you go see Two Tons of Steel! So this was my schtick that night, "Honey, I'm from Seattle, and I don't know how to dance." Magic. I danced with so many pretty girls that night you have no idea how much fun I had. I was soaked from head to toe at midnight. Damn what a good time that was. That's what I love about Texas women. They love to dance!!
Wednesday comes and here's the motto, "Why walk when you can float!!!" That's right, we got on our Schlitterbahn!!! ALL DAY!!!!! The absolute best water park in the entire universe. Now I've taken my kids all over the world, and whenever I ask them where they want to go the first thing that comes out of their mouths is SCHLITTERBAHN!!!!!!! 'Nuff said. So we roll back to Robert's pad at the end of the day and his wonderful wife, Angie, has got some homemade stew waiting for us. We get our snack on, take showers, and we're off again. We end up at some sports bar and watched the Rangers sweep the Red Sox. That's right, Boston!! Fuck you mother fuckers. Bunch of fuckin' yankees. Anyway, a really horrible band starts to play and the testosterone starts flowing. You need to know something about me. Put me in a sports bar with whiskey and really shitty music and somebody's gonna get hurt. So Robert and I tear out of that place because the last thing we needed was a bar fight. We end up at another bar where the karaoke was throwing down and we had a most excellent evening.
Thursday is finally here, and it's time for Paul to fly back to Seattle. Absolute depression. Because when I visit Texas I never want to leave. If you don't have a good time in Texas then there is something very seriously wrong with you. Anyway, I pack up my shit and we head over to a really good Mexican restaurant in New Braunfels (I don't remember the name). I walk thru the door and standing in front of me is the most gorgeous Mexican woman I have ever seen. She was tattoed up big time. Man that turns me on you have no idea how much I love that!! I said, "Have you any idea how absolutely gorgeous you are?" She says, "You know what? I'm your bartender today." We ate a fab lunch and ordered three margaritas each. Folks, we crawled out of that mother fucker. She took such good care of us, and I will never forget her. We then drove over to Gruene for some Mai Tais and my annual record store spending spree. This year the annual spree was Lone Star Music in Gruene. Texas music only! And they had a Ziegenbock keg going on. So we walk in and the sweetie behind the counter hands us a cold beer. I walked out with $165 worth of music. Best record shop I've visited.
And that's that. Robert dumps my drunk ass off at San Antonio International and I'll see you next year!! Thanks again, my Texas, for another most awesome experience!!! Cheers!