gottagetdrunkfirst: Happy Birthday To Me

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Happy Birthday To Me

I guess the dude that owns the trailer house next to us knew today is my birfday because it looks like my asshole, white trash, shitbag, wife beater wearing, drug dealing, saggy pants, ex-con, fuckface, cocksucking, 5 pit bull owning, loud ass, sideways hat wearing motherfucking whiggers for neighbors are moving.

Thank jebus! I have gone through pure hell with these dickheads for the last year. Between their fucking loud ass cars and ~~music~~ bass the pit bulls and the drug traffic I was at my fucking wits end. I have complained to the dude that owns the place a fucking hundred times but to no avail. Apparently they finally trashed his house enough for him to get pissed. That or they have not paid the rent in a month or two. Either way, I am just glad that they are GONE!!

Bye Bye whiggers. You will not be missed.

8 comments:

CharlieDelta said...: Happy Birthday dude!

And FUCK YOU Whiggers!!!!!; August 1, 2009 at 2:26 PM
Jackie D said...: Happy Birthday!

Glad that the trash next door is leaving, so you can raise your children without dealing with that kind of crap.; August 1, 2009 at 2:32 PM
H2o said...: Happy Birthday! May you have a great day!; August 1, 2009 at 6:47 PM
Tina said...: Seriously, tell us how you really feel about those neighbors. Happy birthday!; August 1, 2009 at 11:48 PM
Holder said...: Hoppy Birdday! Glad the day was everything you wanted and more...; August 2, 2009 at 9:43 AM
B....... said...: At one time I had strippers (exotic dancers) for neighbors. They never wore cloths around the house, and no curtains on the windows (I’m not making this up). They weren’t much of a problem, but I got tired of the swarm of high school boys that would cut through my yard late at night to peep through their windows.

And happy birthday you old fart.......; August 2, 2009 at 10:23 PM
Claudia said...: A bit late...All the best to you. Take care. Always love your family's stories.; August 2, 2009 at 11:46 PM
Billy Ray in Cowtown said...: Nothin sorrier'n a damn wigger; August 5, 2009 at 9:10 AM

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Pure Genius

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

~Sir Winston Churchill

To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

~Homer Simpson

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
~W.C. Fields

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
~Benjamin Franklin

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
~Hunter S. Thompson

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, That's as good as they're going to feel all day.
~Frank Sinatra

Here's to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!
~Author Unknown

Once during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
~W.C. Fields

Well ya see, Norm, it's like this.... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

~Cliff Clavin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

~ Dave Barry

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

~Henny Youngman

Our Lager which art in barrels
Swallowed be thy drink
At home, as it is in the tavern
Forgive our spillages
As we forgive those who spill against us
Lead us not into incarceration
But deliver us from hangover
For thine is the beer, the bitter and the barley.
Barmen
~The Beer's Prayer

Alcohol May Be Man's Worst Enemy

But The Bible Says Love Your Enemy

~ Frank Sinatra

That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink…If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen. - Charles Bukowski

The liver is evil and must be punished. - Author Unknown

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. -Homer Simpson

Write drunk; edit sober. - Ernest Hemingway

I take every day one beer at a time, one beer every sip at a time. - Dennis Leary

Alcohol doesn't solve your problems...but then,neither does milk. - W.C. Fields

‎"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." ~ Dave Barry

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Happy Birthday To Me

8 comments:

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