Thursday, December 31, 2009

Knicker Bomber

It would have been funny as hell if that bomb really did go off but only blowing up that dude's nuts! Of course, I would have felt sorry for whoever was sitting next to him!! Gross!! Can you imagine sitting there and all of a sudden...BOOM!!...there's nuts all over your face. Barney Frank would've loved that. Sorry for the visual there. Fuckin' terrorist losers.

Reminds me of this...


BEEEEEEWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Hey, here's a new one. The Skivvy Sizzler!

AM Radio

If you are listening to Glenn Beck, that was me that e-mailed Joe Pags the "Knickerbomber" name for the plane bomber.

I feel so special.

I can't take all the credit though, Mark Steyn coined it on Moday's Rush Limbaugh show.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Pettibone Partying At Camp Pendleton

Today was interesting to say the least. I was told yesterday by my superintendent that I had to be at Pendleton at 06:00 this morning to unload a "few" trucks. A few? Shit dude, I was there early thinking I'd get out of there around 09:00. A few trucks? Bullshit. WRONG! Try a "few" x 2. What a fucking debacle it was today! The truck drivers showed up late so we didn't even start unloading their dumbasses until about 08:30, and then they started bitching about who got there first and who should leave first.

No offense to truck drivers, but you dudes drive trucks for a fucking living. Show up when you're supposed to be there, and you'll be out of there when you expect to be out of there. Otherwise, STFU!

I checked in with the Sentry at the gate, showed him my documents and blazed on through to the jobsite. Everyone else that was supposed to be there on time was there on time and got out of there on time. Those that weren't had to hurry up and wait. Except me. I just had to wait...

The late douchebags held up everyone else who was on schedule, which was....

...everyone!

Don't get me wrong, I had a great time today being out of the office and runnin' the loader but damn, figure your shit out ahead of time dude and don't complain to me about YOU being late to your next destination because you fucked up on your time at my destination. Suck it man! That's what you get paid to do...

...drive truck!

Time is money, Pedro! Figger yer shit out before you bitch about YOU being late!

All in all it was a good day. I love fuckin' with drivers that have no clue WTF they are doing or where they are going. That's NAFTA for ya...

06:28 headin' up Basilone Road. It was a little chllly, and the Pettibone was a little rocky, but damn fun though! I was so excited to see Pendleton for the first time that I had to take a pic. It was like I was roamin' the desert searchin' for ILLEGALS...



A few miles up I saw this sign and had to take a picture. The "Howitzer" part really put a smile on my face to an otherwise shitty day. After this sign I just had to laugh. Someone "Howitzer" this douchebag complaining about his job with 18 wheels and a pad n' paper...

Monday, December 28, 2009

R.I.P. Krash, 12-28-09

Fuck! I'm really gonna miss you buddy! You were, by far, the best dog I've ever had the pleasure of hanging out with and throwing the frisbee to. The most obedient happy dog I have ever met! No matter what mood I was in, you always put a smile on my face Krash.

Rest In Peace buddy. I look forward to chasing you around that big yard called Heaven. I'll see you on the other side...








Christmas last year:





You always loved rollin' around in the grass and the smells of the bushes. I hope you're enjoying that on your current cloud.





When I see you on the other side, we're gonna crank some music, play catch and roll around on the clouds. I'm gonna miss you buddy! Glad we got to spend one last Christmas together Krash. Rest In Peace dude...



FOD



We have the Supreme Commander of the Galactic Empire ring the bell to open the stock market on the 22nd? I guess Saul Alinsy's Obama's plan to destroy the country is coming to fruition. Do you smell the irony? Help us, Sara-Pal Fredthompson; you're our only hope....Fuck. Me.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

F.O.D.

Fucking Outrageous Dickhead...

Jug Ears, you are an Outrageous Dickhead! Nothing more, nothing less. I have nothing but contempt for you, ya silly piece of shit. Here's hoping you choke on your dumbass wife's arrogance and stupidity. Maybe one day in her adult life she'll be proud to be an American...

..then again, maybe not...



Fuck you Jug Ears, and fuck that obscene piece of shit you call a wife...

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Can't Have Too Many

I figured the Kerrwife needed another pair of shoes boots. So I picked these up for her for Chistmas.

She is LOVING them. I think I dun good!

And as you can see. I had my stolen camera replaced! Thanks Pops!

Saturday Cramps!

Merry Christmas to all you non-muslims out there! And a very Merry Christmas to those passengers on Northwest Airlines Flight 253 who kicked that sorry mother fucker’s ass! In celebration, I will be consuming various pig products today. I don’t think the term, “loser” is sufficient enough to begin describing how utterly sick and pathetic you muslims are. As my dad pointed out to me yesterday over the phone, “After seven days they’ll be out of virgins. Then what are they gonna to do?” BWAHAHAHA!!!

I did the pay-per-view thing last night and watched The Hangover with a buddy of mine. If you haven’t seen it then rent or buy it!! This fuckin’ thing had me in stitches! Granted, this is probably more of a guy comedy movie so you ladies beware but wow was that entertaining. Four stars! I rank this one up there with Office Space in terms of movies I can certainly relate to, unfortunately.

The Hangover soundtrack kicks ass. Too bad they couldn’t get all the rights to the songs because the soundtrack sold is incomplete and not worth the money so don’t buy it. As various reviewers point out on Amazon, this movie grossed over $200 million and they couldn’t score all the song rights to release a complete soundtrack CD? The hell?

Anyway, there is an old Cramps song in the movie (Fever, which I believe is a cover). This was one of those moments when I was reminded of a band I hadn’t listened to in a long time. Here this morning I’ve got the stereo cranked (kids are gone for a week so this is one of those rare blocks of me-time.) and the psychobilly is flowin’ with my personal favorites The Cramps and Reverend Horton Heat!

But even better, here's some vintage footage. RIP Lux.

Friday, December 25, 2009

It's So Cold...

How cold is it? you may ask?

It's so cold...



To you morons out there that actually buy into the AGW scam, Merry Christmas! Me and the family had a great time laughing at you last night and today as well...

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Friday Fuck Yeah!

I know it's only Wednesday, but it's my Friday. Four days off from the rat race is better than any gift ever given. Thanks boss...

It's gonna be a great weekend with the family. I might have to take a ride on the wild side. We're feastin' in the mountains tomorrow, and bowlin' strikes Christmas Day! Come one, come all. Just come on by in your travels...

Merry Christmas!

Santa Clause Is Coming To Town

He is on his way.

Tomorrow's Senate vote

I don't have much to say these days. But I will say that I am ashamed of our government and all those who support it. Tomorrow's Senate vote will demonstrate just how far we have fallen as a society. After all that we have witnessed this year (too much bullshit to list), I can say with solid conviction that today's average politician reminds me of why I have so little regard for this government. But, it's Christmas. So fuck 'em. I hope someone drops some hot coals and a few turds in Harry Reid's stocking. Of course, that sorry narcissistic asshole probably doesn't celebrate any holidays except his birthday. And with that, y'all have a nice day.

Dinner Time

I read this story in one of our local rags and it really made me laugh at first. Then it got me thinking


Woman arrested for repeated calls to 911

A Kerrville woman was arrested Friday because she called 911 twice and told dispatch “her husband would not eat his dinner.”

Kerrville police officer Shalethea Makin responded to the 300 block of Blanks Street for a possible disturbance after 911 received two calls from the residence; the first was a hang-up, and on the second call, the operator could hear a woman screaming in the background.

When officers arrived, they found a 53-year-old woman screaming “about things that happened two weeks ago,” according to police report.

Officers reported that the woman smelled strongly of alcohol. She told officers she called 911 because her husband would not eat his dinner.

According to 911 dispatchers, the woman has a history of calling 911 for non-emergency situations when she drank.

“She has been warned many times to call the non-emergency number for the Kerrville Police Department when it’s not a life-threatening emergency,” said KPD public information officer Paul Gonzales.

This was the second time the woman was arrested for silent/abusive calls to 911 service.

She was taken into custody, and the case has been forwarded to the county attorney’s office


What the fuck is wrong with people anymore? Call the cops because your husband won't eat his dinner? What ever happened to just not giving him any pussy? And then there is this one on Drudge. Your kid won't stop playing his video games. So what do you do? A:Yank the controller out of the little fuckers hand, maybe kick the console across the room then turn the circuit breaker off. Or B: Call 911. I vote A. I see the increasing numbers of stories like this in the news and I am amazed on how much people rely on "Big Brother" to fix their problems. Fewer and fewer people have the balls anymore to confront their problems themselves. Nope, just call the government and they can fix it all. Just another sign of the times I guess. No wonder we have a complete waste of oxygen in the White House right now. These kind of people are his voting base. We are becoming a world full of nanny state pussies. Fucking pathetic.



UPDATE: She made the national news

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Wednesday Remedy...

Monday, December 21, 2009

FOD

Sorry it's so late. I didn't have time to post anything at work today and apparently Paul and kerrcarto are major slackers.

Happy Fuck Obama Day!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Sunday Jams



AAAAAWWWWWWW.....YEEEAAAAAH~

Friday, December 18, 2009

Friday FOD Jams

Since he is pretty much pissing everybody off at this point, this should be the new song to Obama from the American people.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

110 Days Clean & Sober

Wow! Who would've ever thought we'd see this landmark accomplishment?






.

Texas Santa



How ya' like that shit PETA?

Time.....

Here it is Paul! It's on, and you better rage dammit...

Afterall, you're the first show on the ticket you lucky SOB! This is gonna be a bitchen show from start to finish. Damn. Lucky bastard!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

About time, Boeing!!!

A lot of happy people up here today. Boeing 787 is finally here!





Was wondering what you all think about flying in a plastic airplane. Scared?

Riddle Me This

This is an actual question from the boys homework. Can someone please explain to me how this teaches math.

Mr. Badilla is building a rectangular fence around his back yard. He needs to buy enough fencing material to cover two lengths and one width. Mr. Badilla knows that his stride is about one half meter long. Describe a way that Mr. Badilla could estimate the amount of fencing material he will need.

Am I just stupid, or is this a fucking un-answerable question?

The Penguin
















I think Harry should audition for a new Batman movie after Nevada boots his punk ass out next year. Loser. BWAHAHAH!!! Awesome picture.

Monday, December 14, 2009

FOD: Animals

Keeping with H2O's animal theme. I found out even the birds are in on it. No wonder his approval ratings are plummeting, I guess no one ever told him not to fuck with mother nature.



P.S. Not photoshopped.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Saturday Funnies: Fishing



Damn, I would just buy me a case of beer and say fuck it.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Friday Freedom!

Fuck The Federal Goverment! Come tell me what to do! Dare Ya'





Freedom.

Friday Night Fuck Yeah!

The end to a long and shitty work week is upon me. Time to twist a fat one, crack a cold one and kick off the shoes. Happy Friday everyone!

Friday Night Anarchy!!

Yeah! What CharlieDelta said above.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

New Material



Stole the picture from here. Captions are my doing.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Millions Of Degrees?




Why does anyone believe a single word this dipshit says? The Earth's core is "millions" of degrees at only 2 kilometers deep? Hey dumbfuck, the surface of the sun is only 12,000˚. So according to your math the core of the earth is 166666.66666666667 times hotter than the sun (I assumed he meant 2 million when he said "millions"). What a fucking lying dipshit, So let me get this straight, you have MAJOR problems with us "destroying the earth" by drilling holes in it for oil, but we can drill a fucking shitpot of them for geo-thermal heating just because you say so. Even my 11 year old called bullshit on you for this farce. You are a fucking snakeoil salesman of the highest order and I can't wait until your shit-science goes away for good.

Oh, and one last question you fuck. Why don't you use it in your house like Bush does at his house in Crawford? Fucking hypocrite.


FUCK YOU ALPOPE you fucking idiot.

Tiger Hunting

Holy crap! I had a lot of emails to catch up on tonight but this one had me in stitches. It's crazy how fast these computer geeks come up with this stuff.

Make sure you pay attention or you're gonna get a seriously deserving beat-down... Be carefull, this can be addictive...

In all seriousness though, that's the biggest dick-move a spouse could ever make. Why go through the motions if you're not dedicated? Why bother? If it's just a bang then leave it at that. Bang it out and get it over with but get it out of your system before you spawn two kids with a beautiful wife.

When I was a kid I just wanted to be rich and nothing more, but not any more. I'm a big fan of dinero but it's shit like this that makes me greatfull that I'm getting by. If I was rich I'd be dead...

I Love CO2

Lisa Kay turned me on to this site and I can't wait to send this to the few idiots I still correspond with who actually buy into this bullshit farce/hoax/joke/lie.



The fact that Boxer wants to kill the messenger instead if the bullshit fabrication of a message should boil it all down. Even for you 'tards on the left...

Tell ya what... my truck is going to warm up for about fifteen minutes (even though it's fuel injected and doesn't need to "warm up"), I just exhaled some CO2 and some heffer named Michelle Obama just farted in the Oval Office. Write the ticket already and let's get this over with.

...but before you do, can you please tell me how many of you fucking hypocrits took private jets to Carbonhagen?

Oh, you're exempt? I'm sorry. Fuck you!

U.S. Navy Ceremonial Guard Silent Drill Team

I know this one's been around before, but my Uncle Jim sent it to me and it's just too damn impressive to not post in case you've never seen it.



Beyond awesome!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Senseless Murder

Today was the memorial for the four slain Lakewood police officers. Along with our military families, please remember the families of these brave police officers over the Holidays. The sacrifices our military, law enforcement, and firefighting families make for our safety and security are so far greater than the petty bullshit I bitch about in my family. Keeps life in perspective doesn't it? God bless America.

An oldie but a goodie

If General Pershing were alive today, I'm pretty sure he would have already kicked Obama's teeth in.

From Alaina.

GGDF Theme Song?

I wanted to save this for Friday, but I'm a little buzzed and couldn't resist.

NSFW due to language...



Cheers!

***WARNING***

CO2 is dangerous, but don't tell the trees!



ROTFLMAO!

Can you believe flamin' libs actually buy into this shit? Never mind, that was a rhetorical question.

Monday, December 7, 2009

FOD 4

Just before I left from work tonight I checked out FoxNews.com and couldn't fucking believe what I was reading! This shit is beyond out of control, it's a gotdamn living nightmare!

COLUMBIA, Mo. — Several Missouri schools are complaining about notebooks and pencils with designs similar to the logos from President Barack Obama's campaign.

At least one notebook and pencil with the design have been purchased from a school supply machine at a Columbia elementary school. Two families have complained about the design, and Principal Mary Sue Gibson said she planned to complain to the supply company.

- It's gotdamn blatent indoctrination. If I was one of those parents I'd be fucking livid! I'm surprised that it was the school's who actually complained.

Greg Jones, a sales representative with Pencil Wholesale, said the design was an accident.


Jones, who delivers supplies to about 800 schools, said he remembers seeing the design but didn't think anything about it. He said the supplies were designed by a different company and that "the art department was trying to be cutesy."


- An accident? BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA! Okay. Sure. Whatever you say there, pal. I tried finding the name of the "different company" so I could write them a letter and rip 'em a new one but no luck. I got tired of looking because Monday Night Football is on, and I have beer to drink so I said, "fuck it"!

"It's turned out to be really ugly. We're trying to get them out of the schools as fast as we can," said Jones, who identified himself as a registered Republican who voted for John McCain in 2008.

- I think Greg Jones is completely full of shit! He claims to be a registered Republican but he didn't think anything about it when he saw it? C'mon! WTF!

Anyways, I guess this is more a 'FUCK YOU' post to Pencil Wholesale, but I'd also like to say "Fuck You" to Obama, the assholes who voted for him and the cocksuckers who still think he's the second coming of Christ. Oh, and Fuck You too Greg Jones, you lying sack of shit mole...

Here's the picture of the notebook. I got it from here.



You assholes deserve nothing less than a flaming bag of poo...

FOD 3

If you are not watching Glenn Beck, stop what you are doing and turn on Fox NOW! Obama had two people "crash" the White House last week and that has been the focus of who was there. There was another person there that no one is talking about. His name is Robert Creamer (I bet they loved that last name in prison). He is a convicted felon and husband of a Senator from Illinois. While in prison he wrote a book called Listen To Your Mother: Stand Up Straight! How Progressives Can Win the book lays out how to take health care and make it seen as a right not a commodity and the path on how to "fundamentally change America". A convicted felon that wrote a book that lays out the exact plan that Obama is implementing must just be a coincidence. Right? If you believe that, my rocket ship to Mars leaves in about an hour, if you want a ride you better get here quick.

Here are the bulleted points of the book.

  • “We must create a national consensus that health care is a right, not a commodity; and that government must guarantee that right.”
  • “We must create a national consensus that the health care system is in crisis.”
  • “Our messaging program over the next two years should focus heavily on reducing the credibility of the health insurance industry and focusing on the failure of private health insurance.”
  • “We need to systematically forge relationships with large sectors of the business/employer community.”
  • “We need to convince political leaders that they owe their elections, at least in part, to the groundswell of support of [sic] universal health care, and that they face political peril if they fail to deliver on universal health care in 2009.”
  • “We need not agree in advance on the components of a plan, but we must foster a process that can ultimately yield consensus.”
  • “Over the next two years, we must design and organize a massive national field program.”
  • “We must focus especially on the mobilization of the labor movement and the faith community.”
  • “We must systematically leverage the connections and resources of a massive array of institutions and organizations of all types.”
  • “To be successful, we must put in place commitments for hundreds of millions of dollars to be used to finance paid communications and mobilization once the battle is joined.”

  • Obama has now surrounded himself with communists, Chairman Mao lovers, convicted felons, radical leftists, union thugs and only God knows who else.

    Don't believe me? Go here and read it for yourself.

    FOD Funnies

    FOD

    Ah yes. FOD. I need to sit down and write a routine, maybe in Excel, that will tell me exactly how many more FODs until we vote fuckface out of office. Or I could just count them on a calendar but that's boring.

    I still don't understand why people scratch with their middle fingers. From The Whited Sepulchre.



    BTW, I hear that the Obama Administration is set to declare carbon dioxide a dangerous pollutant today. Let's see. Humans breathe oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. Plants absorb carbon dioxide and release oxygen. Since liberals appear to be allergic to carbon dioxide, we can only conclude that liberals must be aliens in disguise who have come to loot our civilization but are allergic to our air. They're doing a pretty good job so far. Liberals are master looters, especially the black ones.

    The Guilty To Come Home...

    Time to stop bitching is right! Time for the guilty to come home and time to turn it up!

    Saturday, December 5, 2009

    Stop Bitching!!!

    Time to jam.

    Copenhagen Country

    Time to ditch Comcast

    I have been a cable broadband user since the very beginning when Excite ran the network back in the early-2000s. Cable broadband is without a doubt the fastest and most efficient Internet connection for residential use. In fact, I just ran my bandwidth meter utility and my download speed here on Saturday morning is pushing 20 mbps. During early morning hours when there is little traffic I've measured 35 mbps. So this service is screamin' fast.

    I think it is time to ditch Comcast. All the corporate pandering across these last two years has forced me to inject politics into my business and consumer decisions. I have generally kept my political views separate from my daily consumer decisions but no more. I am now a full-fledged boycotter of several financial firms; I boycott both General Motors and Chrysler for obvious reasons; GE and NBC can suck a dick; and now it is time to boycott Comcast. While Comcast has a monopoly within my service area, I am willing to sacrifice speed in the name of principle.

    Now understand that I don't mind corporations managed by professionals with liberal ideology. In my neck of the woods for example, local companies like Amazon, Microsoft, and Costco all have a rather liberal management team, but they don't inject themselves into polarizing public issues in the form of pandering. Pandering is what pisses me off more than anything because not only is it disingenuous, but it's also dangerous and smacks of pure unadulterated greed. After what we have witnessed across these last 18 months from TARP to the automotive bail-outs, Pandora's Box is officially open for business. And we can thank big corporate for handing over the keys.

    This morning we learn that Comcast has endorsed the Democrat health care destruction bill. The endorsement has come one day after announcing the proposed Comcast/NBC merger. It's bad enough having my Internet service provider now affiliated with NBC. But the Comcast CEO's decision to publicly endorse the health care destruction bill was the last straw. I won't bother summarizing the article. Read it for yourself.

    It's amazing what prominent business professionals will do these days to secure business deals. Sickening. I almost destroyed my TV watching the Big Three CEOs bow to Congress for some bail-out cash. Need a buck? Sell your soul to the devil.

    Back in the day, corporations operated with a sense of balance between community service and business profit, and were always weary of getting too cuddly with government bureaucracy. Now, the heavy hands of government regulation, organized labor, and greed have destroyed the public's perception of corporate America. And rightfully so because corporations could give a flying fuck about the community so long as next quarter's profit exceeds expectations. Outsource overseas? Check. Cook the books? You betcha. Suck some government cock? Yummy. The effect of course is greater short-term profit, but the long-term ramifications are dire. No need to look any further than the current health of our domestic automotive and financial institutions to prove my point, which we are now paying for in the form of massive bail-out money. Here we are working hard in the trenches while big government and big corporate executives fondle each other at the country clubs with my fucking money; propping up failed and inefficient business models. Instead of solving problems with real solutions, corporate America and big government decide to marry and borrow our future generations into oblivion. Fuck you all.

    Smart business leaders should understand that the massive growth in government will only lead to a steady decline in our standards of living, which will ultimately impact profit potential. So pandering to government initiatives designed to grow the public sector would prove counter-productive. Oh wait a minute, there I go thinking long-term again. Silly me. I guess I would make a shitty business leader in today's world stocked up with pandering pussies and greedy politicians.

    Note to big business: pander and I'm out. cya Comcast. Fuck you.

    Friday, December 4, 2009

    WARNING!!

    O.K. Friends - This is my warning to all of you, so take heed.........

    Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.

    A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Lowe's, Home Depot, or Costco customers. This one caught me by surprise.

    Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.
    Here's how the scam works:
    Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds.
    You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

    I had my wallet stolen October 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also November 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.
    So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.
    Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for $1.99 at Dollar Store and bought them out. Also, you never will get to eat at McDonalds. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Lowe's, Home Depot, and Costco.

    Thursday, December 3, 2009

    For Pauldo

    Dude, your post below reminded me of this. I know it is old, but it is still funny as shit.

    A Texan Moves North

    January 10

    It's 5:00PM. It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rum and sat by the picture window watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was so beautiful.

    January 11

    We woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in my life and loved it. I did both the driveway and the sidewalk. later a snow plow came along and accidentally covered up the driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver waved and smiled. I waved back and shoveled again.

    January 12

    It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temp has dropped to 11 degrees. Several tree limbs have snapped in the snow. I shoveled the drive again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came again. Now the snow is a brownish-grey.

    January 13

    It warmed enough today to cause slush which froze again when the temp dropped. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145.00 to a chiropractor. Nothing broken. More snow.

    January 14

    Still cold as hell. Sold the wife's car. Bought a 4x4 to get her to work. Slid into a guardrail anyways, considerable damage. Another 8 inches of snow last night. Both vehicles covered with salt and crud. More shoveling for me. The got-damn snowplow came twice today.

    January 15

    It's 2 fucking degrees outside. More fucking snow. Not a tree on our property hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the fucking house down. Managed to put out the flames but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands plus lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows. car slid off the road on the way to the emergency room and totalled it.

    January 16

    More motherfucking got-damn white shit keeps coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the fucking mailbox. If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch who drives that fucking snowplow, I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart. I think he hides around the corner till I shovel. Power still off. Roof has started to cave in.

    January 17

    Six more fucking inches of fucking white shit and fucking sleet and no tellin' what the fuck else fell last night. I wounded the fucking snowplow asshole with an ice axe, but he got away. Wife left me. The car won't start. I think I'm going snow blind. I can't feel my fucking toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More white shit forecast. Wind chill is 22 below. Fuck this! I'm moving my ass back to Texas.

    What dat white stuff down there in Texas?

    Can't help but laugh at Harper's post. Snow in Texas is like jobs in Michigan. It just don't happen. Bundle up, Harper!! If you need to borrow some coats I'll ship some down to you and the family. BWAHAHAHAH!!

    Surrender


    Stolen From Here

    Wednesday, December 2, 2009

    The 2009 Tiger Christmas Card

    I just got home from work and checked the mail and couldn't believe there was a Christmas card in the mailbox from Tiger and his beyotch. I was so excited that I thought I would share:



    Such a cute couple huh?

    Ich mag Der Spiegel

    I'm starting to like Der Spiegel. This rag tossed Barry the Bama under the bus months ago, and they ripped him a good one today. Searching in Vain for the Obama Magic

    I didn't bother watching the speech last night because I knew it would be nothing short of double-talk bullshit. After reading CharlieDelta and Patriot Gretchen's comments yesterday, I was right. Man, those two were on a roll. BWAHAHAHA!!! I think I'm gonna mail down to them my two old CRTs so they can blow them the hell up and take pictures!!! Kinda like that old printer in Office Space.

    There should be no more doubt left about the magnitude of this man's incompetence, and it's pretty sad when a Euroweenie journalist starts talking shit about a liberal American president.

    Never before has a speech by President Barack Obama felt as false as his Tuesday address announcing America's new strategy for Afghanistan. It seemed like a campaign speech combined with Bush rhetoric -- and left both dreamers and realists feeling distraught.

    Don't ya know? This man never left the campaign trail! He will be known by historians as Candidate Obama not President!

    The academy commanders did their best to ensure that Commander-in-Chief Barack Obama's speech would be well-received.

    How pathetic. Even our own military understands how inept this wuss is.

    One didn't have to be a cadet on Tuesday to feel a bit of nausea upon hearing Obama's speech.

    Now you Germans know how we feel on a daily basis!! Best one-liner from the media ever!!

    For each troop movement, Obama had a number to match. US strength in Afghanistan will be tripled relative to the Bush years, a fact that is sure to impress hawks in America. But just 18 months later, just in time for Obama's re-election campaign, the horror of war is to end and the draw down will begin. The doves of peace will be let free.

    The Bama went for the trifecta: 1) appease the majority of Americans who want us to win this war, 2) appease the deranged by blaming Bush, and 3) appease the Communist Democrat Party by pulling out. But he loses all three picks. The majority of Americans don't trust this man with the war as today's poll shows that only 35% of Americans approve of his handling of Afghanistan. The blame Bush card has been a losing play for months now, and the Communists want us out now, not in 2011! So he loses miserably here! The terrorists are the only winners here as they now know to just wait it out for a couple of years. Unfuckingbelievable.

    This man stands for absolutely nothing! He is the penultimate empty suit complete with a radical agenda stuffed into a mind with an IQ of 0. He really is the jackass of the Democrat Party. He tries to please everybody yet is steadily losing support across the entire electorate. He blames Bush for everything yet learned nothing from him. Understand that Bush called himself a conservative but was probably one of the most liberal presidents ever. In the end, he was very unpopular after having pissed off his own base in addition to the independent voters along with the deranged left. Obama is following his footsteps perfectly. It's the only thing he is accomplishing. In fact, Der Spiegel concluded the article with this gem, "The American president doesn't need any opponents at the moment. He's already got himself." Couldn't have said it better myself.

    I'm gonna buy some Paulaner Hefeweissen this afternoon and drink one for the Germans. Maybe two.

    Tuesday, December 1, 2009

    Thank You!

    I woke up to the mailman dude Saturday morning knocking on my door with a delivery from the Honorable Kay Bailey, United States Senator, TX. and thought to myself, "WTF? Who is this and why is she sending me this Priority Mail?"

    Then I opened it. Fuggin' awesome!



    I called kerrcarto that day to inquire within if it was he that signed me up for this and he said, "negative dude, but you might want to check with H2o or Harper". At this point I have narrowed it down to Harper because I don't remember giving H2o my address. But then again, who the heck knows? Hell, maybe I signed up for this from some link I clicked on and forgot all about it. I just don't know...

    Anyways, if that was you Harper I just wanted to say thank you! I wasn't expecting anything in the mail except bills, much less this bitchen surprise...

    And thank you Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison!

    Whatever

    I did not watch the Chocolate Jebus' speech read tonight. I was to busy waxing my spaceship that I plan on shooting to Mars later this week.


    If you believe that, you probably watched the peeresident's speech tonight.

    Christmas Is Just Around The Corner

    Hint! Hint!

    I want one of these. Or at least to be able to play one like this dude:



    I'd even be happy with the stomp boxes...

    Czars Galore

    Richard Holbrooke
    Afghanistan Czar
    Ultra liberal anti gun former Gov. of New Mexico. Pro Abortion and legal drug use . Dissolve the 2nd Amendment

    Ed Montgomery
    Auto recovery Czar
    Black radical anti business activist. Affirmative Action and Job Preference for blacks. Univ of Maryland Business School Dean teaches US business has caused world poverty. ACORN board member. Communist DuBois Club member.

    Jeffrey Crowley
    AIDS Czar
    Radical Homosexual.. A Gay Rights activist. Believes in Gay Marriage and especially, a Special Status for homosexuals only, including complete free health care for gays.

    Alan Bersin
    Border Czar
    The former failed superintendent of San Diego . Ultra Liberal friend of Hilary Clinton. Served as Border Czar under Janet Reno – to keep borders open to illegal’s without interference from US

    David J. Hayes
    California Water Czar
    Sr. Fellow of radical environmentalist group, “Progress Policy”. No training or experience in water management whatsoever.

    Ron Bloom
    Car Czar
    Auto Union worker. Anti business & anti nuclear . Has worked hard to force US auto makers out of business. Sits on the Board of Chrysler which is now Auto Union owned. How did this happen?

    Dennis Ross
    Central Region Czar
    Believes US policy has caused Mid East wars. Obama apologist to the world. Anti gun and completely pro abortion.

    Lynn Rosenthal
    Domestic Violence Czar
    Director of the National Network to End Domestic Violence. Vicious anti male feminist. Supported male castration . Imagine?

    Gil Kerlikowske
    Drug Czar
    devoted lobbyist for every restrictive gun law proposal, Former Chief of Police in Liberal Seattle. Believes no American should own a firearm . Supports legalization of all drugs

    Paul Volcker
    Economic Czar
    Head of Fed Reserve under Jimmy Carter when US economy nearly failed. Obama appointed head of the Economic Recovery Advisory Board which engineered the Obama economic disaster to US economy. Member of anti business “Progressive Policy” organization

    Carol Brower
    Energy and Environment Czar
    Political Radical Former head of EPA - known for anti-business activism. Strong anti-gun ownership.

    Joshua DuBois
    Faith Based Czar
    Political Black activist- Degree in Black Nationalism. Anti gun ownership lobbyist.

    Cameron Davis
    Great Lakes Czar
    Chicago radical anti business environmentalist. Blames George Bush for “Poisoning the water that minorities have to drink.” No experience or training in water management. Former ACORN Board member (what does that tell us?)

    Van Jones
    Green Jobs Czar
    (since resigned).. Black activist Member of American communist Party and San Francisco Communist Party who said Geo Bush caused the 911 attack and wanted Bush investigated by the World Court for war crimes. Black activist with strong anti-white views.

    Daniel Fried
    Guantanamo Closure Czar
    Human Rights activist for Foreign Terrorists . Believes America has caused the war on terrorism. Believes terrorists have rights above and beyond Americans.

    Nancy-Ann DeParle.
    Health Czar
    Former head of Medicare / Medicaid. Strong Health Care Rationing proponent. She is married to a reporter for The New York Times .

    Vivek Kundra
    Information Czar
    Born in New Delhi , India . Controls all public information, including labels and news releases. Monitors allprivate Internet emails . (hello?)

    Todd Stern
    International Climate Czar
    Anti business former White House chief of Staff- Strong supportrer of the Kyoto Accord. Pushing hard for Cap and Trade. Blames US business for Global warming. Anti- US business prosperity.

    Dennis Blair
    Intelligence Czar
    Ret Navy. Stopped US guided missile program as “provocative”. Chair of ultra liberal “Council on Foreign Relations” which blames American organizations for regional wars.

    George Mitchell
    Mideast Peace Czar
    Fmr. Sen from Maine Left wing radical. Has said Israel should be split up into “2 or 3 “ smaller more manageable plots”. (God forbid) A true Anti-nuclear anti-gun & pro homosexual "special rights" advocate

    Kenneth Feinberg
    Pay Czar
    Chief of Staff to TED KENNEDY . Lawyer who got rich off the 911 victims payoffs. (horribly true)

    Cass Sunstein
    Regulatory Czar
    Liberal activist judge believes free speech needs to be limited for the “common good”. Essentially against 1st amendment. Rules against personal freedoms many times –like private gun ownership and right to free speech.

    John Holdren
    Science Czar
    Fierce ideological environmentalist, Sierra Club, Anti business activist. Claims US business has caused world poverty . No Science training .

    Earl Devaney
    Stimulus Accountability Czar
    Spent career trying to take guns away from American citizens. Believes in Open Borders to Mexico . Author of statement blaming US gun stores for drug war in Mexico .

    J. Scott Gration
    Sudan Czar
    Native of Democratic Republic of Congo . Believes US does little to help Third World countries. Council of foreign relations, asking for higher US taxes to support United Nations

    Herb Allison
    TARP Czar
    Fannie May CEO responsible for the US recession by using real estate mortgages to back up the US stock market. Caused millions of people to lose their life savings.

    John Brennan
    Terrorism Czar
    Anti CIA activist . No training in diplomatic or gov. affairs. Believes Open Borders to Mexico and a dialog with terrorists and has suggested Obama disband US military

    Aneesh Chopra
    Technology Czar
    No Technology training. Worked for the Advisory Board Company, a health care think tank for hospitals. Anti doctor activist. Supports Obama Health care Rationing and salaried doctors working exclusively for the Gov. health care plan

    Adolfo Carrion Jr..
    Urban Affairs Czar
    Puerto Rican born Anti American activist and leftist group member in Latin America . Millionaire “slum lord” of the Bronx , NY. Owns many lavish homes and condos which he got from “sweetheart” deals with labor unions. Wants higher taxes on middle class to pay for minority housing and health care

    Ashton Carter
    Weapons Czar
    Leftist. Wants all private weapons in US destroyed. Supports UN ban on firearms ownership in America .. No Other “policy”

    Gary Samore
    WMD Policy Czar
    Former US Communist. Wants US to destroy all WMD unilaterally as a show of good faith. Has no other “policy”.


    Now doesn't that just make you feel safe?