Monday, January 18, 2010

How the fight started

Sandi sent me a bunch of these. I'll post over the next few days. Too funny to keep to myself.

My wife sat down on the seat next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

And last, an oldie but a goodie.

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started...

1 comment:

PeggyU said...

LOL! Looking forward to more :D

Reminds me of an exchange between my husband's cousin and her (then) husband.

We were at a family gathering, and my brother-in-law called his wife a "doll". My husband's cousin looked at her husband and said, "Why don't you ever say that to me?" So he looked at her and said, "Ok, you're a doll ... a cabbage patch doll." The fight didn't start then, I don't think, but they aren't married any more.