Sunday, October 31, 2010

Have Fun! Be Safe!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Happy Halloween

Friday, October 29, 2010

Friday Jams

Dia De Los Muertos is just around the corner.

Friday Night Anarchy!!

Happy Halloween infidels!!


Get your asses out there and vote!!
People like this are going to.

Make no mistake, these people are trying to take over our government and they call the democrats and our president a friend.

Fucking Communists

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

It's On!!

The Suckmydickhole Giants are gonna get their asses whipped. You down for a shirt bet CD?

FID: Funnies

A young Arab asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?"

The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun."

"And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man.

"It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body." said the father.

The son asked, "And what about these ugly shoes on your feet?

His father replied, "These are 'babouches', which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert."

"Tell me, Abba?" added the boy.

"Yes, my son?"

"Why are we living in Dearborn, Michigan and you're still wearing all this shit?"

Monday, October 25, 2010

Some football humor...

...for your shitty fucking Monday.

FOD: It's Baaack.

Fucking Assclown. That is about as much as I can muster to say about this mountebank. Thanks a lot political retards. We needed a leader but we got a reader.

Oh, and Happy Birthday to the Blogfather, 64 but can still party with the best of 'em. Happy birthday buddy.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

One Hot Commie

As much as I hhhhhhaaaaaaate communists. That is one hot Commie!

Texas Rangers

I've been on a hate-baseball tirade for the past several years because of the whole steroid fiasco and the homerun records broken as a result. Mickey Mantle lost his record in the books to some juiced up fuckface. Shameful!

I usually attend at least four Mariners games a year with my kids and friends and they're always a lot of fun. We take the train from Auburn, which drops us off at Pioneer Square in downtown Seattle, and then hike a few blocks over to Safeco Field. Never a bad seat in the house. About three years ago I witnessed the White Sox kick the ever living shit out of the Mariners. After the game, this drunk Chicago fan was out of control with the taunting and really pissing off people, especially the parents with his filthy mouth. As he was going down an escalator past mine, I suddenly swung out and punched that mother fucker square in the face. He never saw it coming. All the fans cheered. My heroic moment at the stadium. BOOOYAH! Security was waiting for him at the bottom of the escalator, while we were nowhere to be found. heh heh. I haven't been to a game since because of my tirade against steroids.

Some people tell me that my anger against baseball is unjustified because enhancement drugs are abused in all of sports, especially football. And me being a rabid football fan smacks of hypocrisy where I potentially forgive one sport yet scorn another. But the NFL cracks down on substance use, whereas the major leagues turn the other way. I guess that is where the problem lies with me and why I'm still steamed. When I played football in high school, a lot of the players around me were big into steroids. It was kinda fucked up actually. I never touched the stuff but I tell you what. The game is completely different when you are playing normal dudes vs. juiced up machines. The hits are a lot harder! And I guess there lies the key to it all. I have no use for the stuff nor do I have any respect for people who use them. Fuck it.

But I digress. I would just like to say that I'm still pissed at baseball, but it's nice to see my hometown Texas Rangers make it to the World Series for the very first time. This will be the most exciting sporting event in Dallas/Fort Worth history because it's never happened before. I told kerrcarto on the phone last night that the last Rangers game I went to, the Yankees eliminated them from their first postseason appearance by a score of 1-0. I think this was sometime around 1997. I've always hated the Yankees, and A-Rod Mr. "I left Seattle so I could play for a winning team it wasn't about the money" steroid bitch, too. A-Rod, of course only played three seasons for Texas prior to New York and walked away with more money than I can imagine, much to the dismay of Rangers fans. So A-Rod representing the 3rd and final out last night, I think, was poetic justice for the thousands of fans in attendance.

Congratulations, Texas!! A most improbable victory, which makes it even sweeter!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Friday Night Anarchy!!

I love the mayhem going on in France. They're like a bunch of spoiled children destroying all their toys because they can't play with the one they want. You know that shit's gonna spill over here. We have to cut down these ridiculous public employee compensation packages at some point. And when that happens...BOOM!!...all the little union brats will hit the streets like the fucking punks they are.

This calls for some French death metal! I know; that was an oxymoron, but not everything from France sucks. This shit's a little heavy for CharlieDelta so here's some anarchy-lite just for him. BEEEEWAHAHAHAHAHH!!!! Cheers!


Teh Bawney Shuffew



Everywhere I look or hear or see, someone is trying to tell me to buy gold. The almighty gold. I'll tell you what... you can take your gold and cram it!

This is the only 'gold' I'm gonna need when the shit goes down. Seriously, when the shit hits the fan, what's that gold gonna do for you? How far is it going to get you? Nowhere. Money isn't going to mean shit when it's all said and done.

My 'gold' on the other hand is going to go a long way. I'm a rich fucker with this 'gold' shit. I'm an SRF so to speak...

You assholes trying to sell me this crock called gold can suck a big one. I have my own Fort Knox in the form of lethality and bargaining.

Good luck with that gold thing...

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Fun With Photoshop: New Perfume

I love it when I have a good buzz, an imagination and the Simpsons come on the Boob Tube.

Mooshelle Obama's new fragrance....

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

You knew it was coming...

...the Jimmy McMillan remixes are emerging on youtube now. Why you ask? Because the rent is too damn high! BWAHAHAH!!! Original here. I'd vote for him. Seriously. Cuomo can suck a dick. Arrogant commie fucktard.

A Picture Is Worth A 1000 Words

Fucking Arrogant Duck Lipped Bitch.

Fun With FID

Pole position on Google. Pole smoking by islam! Suck a dick you third world assholes!

This Infidel spells it out pretty good. He pretty much tells it like it is. I'm waiting on pins and needles for someone to successfully refute his stance. I won't be holding my breath anytime soon...

Can anyone name a single invention by a Middle Eastern Muslim in the last 500 years?

Quite a few Middle Eastern inventions can be found throughout "early" history (BC through about the 1300's). Since then however, I would have a tough time trying to name a single invention, or even a single contribution to society at large by Muslims. Unless you count the school bus bomb as a thoughtful gift to the world, there's really NOTHING that these folks have contributed for over 500 years.

I happen to have serious doubts about the Muslim attributions of many early inventions as well, but that is a topic for another essay.

My point is that Islam has stifled a culture, benighted a large region of the world, and quelled an entire people into a rerun of the dark ages. It has done this by successfully smothering freedom, repressing new thoughts and ideas and quelling all individuality. It has effectively prevented a large portion of the world from seeing any forward progress for over half a millennium.

On a more positive note, there are those of us sick and fucking tired of islam trying to destroy the Western way of life and won't sit on the sidelines and watch it happen. No fucking way! Not while I still have a pulse, motherfuckers! Not in my country.

I've asked quite a few Arab Muslims about this major discrepancy in progress, and the answer is always the same: "America, Israel, blah blah blah"!!

It never seems to occur to them that this can only account for the last 50 years or so. What happened to the other 450? I say, "ISLAM HAPPENED".


American citizens and soldiers worldwide have been slain one by one or in groups, for decades. This was done in the name of Allah… and most Muslims were silent… except for those who celebrated.

How many embassies, ships, buses, planes, schools and businesses have been bombed in the name of Allah in the last fifty years? … And most Muslims were silent… except for those who celebrated.

The twin towers fell and thousands died… and most Muslims remained silent. Sure, a few spoke out, claiming that Islam does not condone such things… but they were drowned out by the cheers, parades and celebrations that erupted throughout the Muslim world.

Everyday is FUCK ISLAM DAY!

Muslims should consider themselves lucky that we Americans ARE peaceful. Otherwise, we would have nuked you fuckers to cinders a long time ago. The rest of the world (the SANE people) really don't need Muslims around. Islam has contributed nothing but mayhem and misery to the history of mankind.

Muslims have become the worldwide enemy of peace, and therefore I proudly say… FUCK the Muslims, and FUCK ALLAH. Allah is a pig’s festering asshole (and Mohammed is his dick-licking bitch).

- M40 - : )

AMEN! Why in the FUCK is anyone bowing down to this bullshit so-called "religion?" It's long overdue for The West to grow a pair and shoot a load all over these assholes once and for all! WTF!

Note to muzzies still living in the stone age:
Try as you might, try as you will, but your sharia law will never take hold in my country. Not as long as I have a pulse. You motherfuckers will forever be in my crosshairs until you wake up to the 21st Century, or until my timecard has been punched.

Fuck islam!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

We Don't Dick Around.

Remember a few weeks back when that dude shot a round into the ground at a bunch of gangsters that where threatening him and his family?

Well here in Kerrville you don't even need to threaten someone. Just rub one out on someone's front porch.

A 26-year-old Kerrville man accused of two counts of indecency with a child sexual contact has been ruled incompetent to stand trial and will go to the North Texas State Hospital in Vernon.
Jacob Smith remains in the Kerr County Jail awaiting transfer to the facility in North Texas.
Smith was accused of an incident April 30 in the 1300 block of East Jefferson Street, where a woman reported seeing a man expose himself near her yard, where she was standing with her young son. She told police the man, who she believed to be Smith, saw both of them looking at him and made no attempt to close his pants or cover himself.
Smith also was the main suspect in a March 8 incident in the 1200 block of East Jefferson Street, in which a woman reported a man with his pants around his ankles touching himself on her porch.
She went upstairs, retrieved a gun, opened the front door and discharged a round into the ground next to the man, who quickly departed. She told police she feared for her life.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! He must have had a little dick.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Young At Heart

Lucy still thinks she is a puppy.

You ought to see her sit in one of those plastic lawn chairs.

Yeah, I know...laundry. You never really catch up.

The Resist Stance

Hey Paul. I just picked up The Dissent of Man today and it's classic badass Bad Religion. You know as well as I do that these dudes have been around for 30 fucking years, but unlike most punk bands they have stayed fast and true. This is the kind of BR I remember seeing in TJ when I was 14 years old using a fake ID to get into Iguana's. Good fucking times!

I'm halfway through the album and so far this one has been played 5 times straight. Gotta go pick this one up brother. BADASS! Turn it up!

Seeds of rebellion lay outside your front door.
If you nourish them and water them they'll grow into a healthy "what for?"
And if revolution isn't what's in store, how can you care anymore?
It's a dangerous slip, a conscientious shift. In the spirit of resistance you gotta hold your grip lest
the state of your resolve makes you quickly devolve to a fundamentalist.
You're an archetype that they can pin to the wall when you cling to your convictions like a farm animal in its stall,
never thinking of the bigger world outside, as they take you for a ride.
It's a dangerous slip, a conscientious shift. In the spirit of resistance you gotta hold your grip.
Because passion unabated can be readily conflated with belligerence.
It's a dangerous slip and a conscientious shift. In the spirit of resistance you gotta hold your grip.
And the verdict won't be kind, cuz they're desperate for a viable alternative.
Take a stance. The resist stance. Take a stance. The resist stance. Take a stance. The resist stance. Take a stance. The resist stance.

Update: Oh shit! Sorry Paul. I forgot this was more your speed. Fuckin' Washington hippy! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

FOD:Got 'em

I've had the Restributing wealth and Eco-Vehicle ones for a while. The two others are new additions. I have actually had people ask me what I did to my car for it to be eco-friendly. I just tell them "Nothing, it runs on hydro-carbon." Some of the looks I get after that are priceless. No Clue!!

So fuck all you eco-weenies and Fuck You Obama, you fucking commie bastard!

FOD: The Empire Strikes Back

This weekend, Barry said, "They're fighting back. The empire is striking back. To win this election, they are plowing tens of millions of dollars into front groups. They are running misleading negative ads all across the country."

There's only one problem with that juvenile statement, Mr. Kenya; YOU ARE THE EVIL EMPEROR!

It's Return of the Jedi now, fuckface. All polls show that your party is about to get its communist ass whooped!! You can have Gibbs the nerd spin it all you want! But this election is about you, Pelosi, and Reid and how tired we are of your bullshit!

FUCK OBAMA! And have a nice fucking day!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Dallas Cowboys...


Sunday Funnies

An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to get him to the emergency room.?

After what seemed like a very long wait, the ER doctor appeared wearing his scrubs and a long face.

Sadly, he said, "His heart is still beating, but I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead."

"Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks with shock.

"We've never had a Democrat in the family before!"

Friday, October 15, 2010

Friday Night Anarchy!!

It's Friday!! And I got my ballot in the mail today. Will be joyfully doing my part to help vote you sorry fuckin' DemocRATS out! Holy shit you people suuuuuuuuckkkk!!! You're like parasites sucking and sucking and sucking...Get the fuck out of our lives.

This one's for CharlieDelta, our goodie-goodie quitter! Cheers!

The Forgotten Man

This is done well and is pretty powerful. From Mr. Mayor in the comments.

Thanks Mr. Mayor

Beer Saves Man's Life

A wise Hank Hill once asked, "is there anything beer can't do"? Well, if beer can save a man's life, I would have to say the answer is NO.

I should be out of the hospital next week some time...

Friday FID

If you listen closely, this pig actually says, "allah".


Thanks to Fukitol who got it from here.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Fun with Google

Queen Cunt of the Universe squirts again!


There are no words in any language that adequately describe the magnitude of cuntness occupying the Speaker chair in Washington, DC. This evil woman has got to be the most elitist spoiled fucking brat ever in the history of Congress. I hate you, Pelosi! You hear me? I FUCKING HATE YOU! Enjoy it while it lasts you vile bitch. November 2nd is right around the corner and I have a feeling this great nation will not allow your kind into the majority again, at least not within the next two to three generations. You cavernous twat!

Yeah kerrcarto made this picture a while back. It fucking rocks. Please don't be offended, ladies. We reserve these awful tasteless terms for a very very select few.

New Billboard

A terrorist, a gangster, an illegal and a queer.

Ain't that the truth.

Stole it from here.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Terror Threat

So I read on Drudge today that Al Qaeda is considering targeting government employees in Washington, DC restaurants. Um, this doesn't upset me in the slightest. Am I so full of disdain and disgust against this corrupt government that I could give a shit about the safety of our fellow citizens in Washington, DC? What the fuck is happening to me. Think I need to go to church or something. I mean, I should feel some compassion, yes? Would the terrorists be doing us a fav...stop Paul stop!!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Good Luck

On quitting that is. You pussy :)

Best quote ever? "Eggplant tastes like eggplant. But meat tastes like murder and murder tastes pretty got damned good"
I think a bumper sticker or shirt should ensue. But it is definitely going on the Pure Genius wall.

Monday, October 11, 2010

To Quit Or Not To Quit?

It's more of a willpower thing than a question I guess. I've been inhaling nicotine for 25+ years and have tried to quit multiple times. Last time being seven years ago. The patch, the gum, jogging, all three at the same time. The longest I've had without a grat is nine days when my regiment was on cue and consistent. Then I went to the bar and those nine days were out the door. I have no desire to quit drinking, but it's that time again when I consider putting down the grats...

I've been seeing commercials like these lately and wonder if anyone knows of a personal success story? I've always said that it's not the nicotine as much as the feeling of smoke/"vapor" entering the lungs. At least not for me...


Got me a new bumper sticker.

And a new shirt.

These should really piss off the Obama supporters.

UPDATE: This one I have wanted for a while now. It was stuck in my head all day so I said Fuck it, I had to buy it. I just wish it had Obama in the circle.

Good thing I only do this a couple times a year.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Saturday Jams. Well Almost Sunday

I would have to say, two of my top 10 Metallica songs. I always loved their instrumentals.

Coming to an airport near you

Below is a comment I found from this article. You know, the only people who should be applying for "emissions" permits are politician fuckfaces (aka: the common liberal cockroach) with nothing better to do than tyrannize we the people, preach faux man-made global warming from their private jets, and pocket our hard earned money. You assholes contribute nothing to our society. I have more respect for the shit in our sewers than I do you hypocritical power hungry douchenozzles. Get a fucking life! And even though this story is out of Europe, you are naive if you think for one second that our Democrat Communist Party isn't actively pursuing this policy over here. Cap & Tax anybody? Fuck all Democrats.

Climate Change Dictionary

PEER REVIEW: The act of banding together a group of like-minded academics with a funding conflict of interest, for the purpose of squeezing out any research voices that threaten the multi-million dollar government grant gravy train.

SETTLED SCIENCE: Betrayal of the scientific method for politics or money or both.

DENIER: Anyone who suspects the truth.

CLIMATE CHANGE: What has been happening for billions of years, but should now be flogged to produce ‘panic for profit.’

NOBEL PEACE PRIZE: Leftist Nutcase Prize, unrelated to “Peace” in any meaningful way.

DATA, EVIDENCE: Unnecessary details. If anyone asks for this, see “DENIER,” above.

CLIMATE SCIENTIST: A person skilled in spouting obscure, scientific-sounding jargon that has the effect of deflecting requests for “DATA” by “DENIERS.” Also skilled at affecting an aura of “Smartest Person in the Room” to buffalo gullible legislators and journalists.

JUNK SCIENCE: The use of invalid scientific evidence resulting in findings of causation which simply cannot be justified or understood from the standpoint of the current state of credible scientific or medical knowledge.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Rachel Madcow Disease

I don't know who this guy is, but I am going to send him some money.
The man being interviewed not the one interviewing him. That dude is a nutcase.

Friday Food For Thought

-This was written from the heart and soul. It rings true and rings loud. I wish I could write like this...

-From American Thinker.

America is not a plot of land. It is not a culture...

...It is not a nationality. It is not a set of traditions or customs. It is not a government. It is not a people. It is not a book of laws. And it certainly isn't a race.

America is an idea.

That's why anyone can become an American. Embrace the idea (and fill out a few forms) and you're an American.

You're one of us.

Most other nations are nationalities. Their heritage depends on blood and territory. America is portable. We carry it around in our hearts and minds.

If you bomb our cities, you can't destroy America. If you ruin our economy, you can't destroy America. If most of the continent falls into the ocean, you can't destroy America. Even if you kill most of us, you can't destroy America.

Because wherever two or more of us are gathered in her name...America is there.

Here is the secret: We don't live in America. America lives in us.

America is an idea.

The greatest, purest, sweetest, most sublime idea in the history of the world. It lifts man up, it blesses him, it encourages him, it enlightens him, it civilizes him, it opens his heart, it makes him kind and generous and honest and brave and free. It makes him smart and successful and industrious. It makes him innovative and cheerful. It makes him happy, honorable, and honest.

America is an idea.

And it is that idea that is under constant assault in the halls of power, the press room, the classroom, and the screening room.

Who seeks to murder the idea seeks the destruction of America.

What specifically is this idea? It is that man is created with certain inalienable rights, including Life, Liberty, and Property. It is that man has the right to self-government, the right to be left alone, the right to the fruit of his labors, the right to dispose of his property as he sees fit. It is that all men are created equal under God and the law, and that no man can take away these rights, and that the sole duty of government is to protect them. It is that government must be accountable to The People, not the people to the government. It is that ours is to be a nation of laws, not of men, and that no one is above the law. It is that justice is blind. It is that man must be virtuous if he is to be free. It is that human rights come from the creator and cannot be abrogated by men.

The entire goal of the Left is to murder the idea of the goodness and righteousness of freedom, of self-reliance, of independence, of merit, of virtue, of hard work, of honor, of courage, of sacrifice, of loyalty, of morality, of faith, of the inalienable rights to life, liberty, and property.

The Left, in politics, media, education, and entertainment, despise the idea that is America. And they are doing everything in their power to promote a replacement "idea" -- one that distorts the language of freedom to promote the serfdom of dependence, twists the meaning of truth to tell lies, seeks to limit freedom, mocks faith, virtue and morality, undermines self-reliance and the independent spirit; one that disdains (or punishes) hard work, laughs at frugality, and sneers at sacrifice; one that approves of murdering new life, regulating liberty, confiscating property, and seizing the fruit of our labors. One that denies the Creator and those annoying and inconvenient inalienable rights.

They seek to replace a divinity with a corpse.

Since America is the idea, plotting the overthrow of the idea is plotting the overthrow of America.

They may love their jobs, their plot of land, their privileges, their personal wealth, their property, their family, their friends, their clubs, and their cars. They may love California wine and Maine lobster and Southern Fried Chicken, Texas barbeque, and Boston baked beans. They may love museums, and lighthouses, and beaches and palm trees and big salty lakes, and waterfalls and huge canyons, and redwoods and geysers and cowboys and Indians. They may love football, and Santa Claus, and Martin Luther King Day. They may love fireworks, and Hollywood, and Harvard. But they don't love America.

They have already killed her in their own hearts. And they are trying to kill her in ours and our children's with their unconstitutional laws, their biased reporting, their false history, their immoral and undermining "art."

They seek nothing less than the death of the American idea, which is far worse than the conquest of territory. They mercilessly and tirelessly work toward the destruction of the American soul.

-I hope they packed a lunch, because they're gonna lose BIG when it's all said and done...

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Men With Talent...

Their choice of brew is complete crap, but the talent is off the charts. Finally something on the boob tube is worth watching. They should call it, "Drinking With The Stars".

From Fukitol

The Winds Of Change

Has Chris "Tinkle Down The Leg" Mathews felt it? The winds, not the piss down his leg that is.

Way to fake outrage that the man is supporting a democrat Chris. I know you have never supported aaannnnyyyone, besides practically giving Obama blowjobs on the air for the last two years, but that was different I suppose.

Or is it now that Obama and the democrats communist party have been exposed and are on the ropes. It is time to switch masks, and turn on your progressive buddies to try and save your jobby job?

You are such a fake douchebeard you make Heidi Montag look real.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

FOD: New shoes II

In keeping with kerrcarto's FOD theme this week, I've designed a pair of Converse shoes just for kerrcarto and CharlieDelta. I know they'll love these and wear them everyday. Heh heh! Aren't they lovely?

Monday, October 4, 2010

Compare & Contrast & Compare Again

Y'all remember what the scene at The Mall after KNH's inauguration looked like right?

And then the photograph taken after Glenn Beck's "Restoring Honor" rally 8-28-10?

Well, here's the scene at a WWII Memorial that the liberal cocksuckers left after the "One Nation Rally" on 10-2-10. Yeah, they sure show our war vets lots of respect don't they? What a disgrace!

Fuck all of you loopy left-wing assholes out there! You have no shame. You have no respect. You have no morals. You have no souls. You have no sense of decency. You have no virtue. Fuck off all of you!

NSFW beyond this point: (unless you have a cool boss like I do)
This one is dedicated to you assholes on the left. All of you!

For those of you out there that don't speak Thrashglish, I have provided the easily translated lyrics for you via these guys.

Fuck you I'm through
I want nothing more from you
My sanity is wearing thin
I rate, I hate
You determined your own fate
Now everything is caving in

Fuck your power trip and
Fuck your attitude and
Fuck your bloated ego too
Fuck your history, your tragedy, your misery
But most of all...fuck you!

Fuck this, all of this
Bitch and moan and bleed and piss
Seconds away from goin' down
Go ahead and push me
Your fakery, your butchery
Is nothing compared to my hate for you

Fuck your apathy and
Fuck your empathy and
Fuck your nihilism, too
Fuck your bitter pills, take 'em all, you never will
But most of all...fuck you!

Nothing changes, nothing fazes, nothing stays the same

Fuck your power trip and
Fuck your attitude and
Fuck your bloated ego too
Fuck your history, your tragedy, your misery
But most of all...motherfucker fuck you!

Fuck! You!


Anybody need a new pair of shoes? Well may I suggest Converse All Stars?

$65 bucks for a pair of Converse All-Stars with Fuck Obama embroidered onto them. I'm there.

Thanks to my buddy Eric for the FOD fun.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

It's Saturday! Let's Jam