Wednesday, March 31, 2010

One From My Sister

Click It To Big It.

OnStar pussies

If you ever want to know what's really wrong with America, just listen to an OnStar commercial. If I hear one more whiny fucking bitch crying to some OnStar dude I swear I'm throwing my radio out onto the freeway. My God we've really turned into a bunch of wimps.

New Element Found

Sent to me by my uncle.




Pelosium:

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Pelosium. Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 223 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.
These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
The symbol of Pelosium is PU.
Pelosium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientist to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Incompetency

It comes at a price, so why the fuck are politicians making what they make for their total and complete incompetency? Because Americans are willing to pay that fucking price for bullshit incompetency? What the fuck is going on around here?

When I lost my job New Year's Eve day it hit me harder than Bwaney Fwank hits a male intern call-boy. I was fucking devastated to say the least. Ten + years at the same company and they pulled the rug out from under me. Just. Like. That.

I called kerrcarto that day ready to move to Texas. Fuck, I was frazzled!

I knew my gig. I made those fuckers money. I got along with everyone from the office to the dudes working in the field. I fucking trained the new-hires. Not trying to toot my own horn, but damn... competency comes at a price.

Dan, this guy I fucking trained (no animosity towards him) sent me this picture today and I had to laugh. Not because his morning was a rough one, but because I'm so fucking glad I'm outta that shitty fucking job! It was a God-send that I was let go when I was. My stress level has dropped 50% at the least. I'm making the same money at the new job and I actually like it, and it's not fucking union! That's another completely different topic.




When I was hired at my last job in I had to piss in a bottle, I had from the first of my birthday month 'till the end of my birthday month to piss in a bottle, and was randomly tested whenever the "Local" wanted to test me too. I had no problem with that.

Howz 'bout some Congressional fucking piss tests? How about every fucking politician out there gets random piss tests and birthday-month tests? If I have to piss in a cup to represent a private company, why shouldn't our fucking elected assholes who supposedly represent The People piss in a cup too? I bet 75% would pop dirty for something. I wanna know WTF half of these motherfuckers are on, and if they can spare any, because I feel like I'm on shrooms watching this circus.

You over-paid assholes in D.C. will soon be filing for unemployment come November.

I really want to send my last boss this pic, but I don't want to burn any bridges. We're on good terms and I should keep it that way even though I want to give 'em a left hook!

The Ft. Hood Hug Lady

I try to make it a point to shake a soldiers hand when I see them in public. I ran into one just about an hour ago in H-E-B (the grocery store for you non-blowneyes) walked over shook his hand told him thanks for his service and went on my way. I found it kind of cool when I got back into my car and over the radio came a story about the Ft. Hood Hug Lady. She has hugged over 500,000 soldiers! What a wonderful soul. How great is it too know that our soldiers deploying from Ft Hood, Texas to shitholistan have a mother figure to send them off and then greet them and give them a hug when they come home. This lady deserves a Presidential Medal Of Freedom, in my opinion at least.

Monday, March 29, 2010

No News Day 1

It's been one day and I feel better already!! I have no idea WTF is going on in the world today and, quite honestly, I don't really give a damn! I had to travel down to Tacoma today on assignment and brought along Faith No More "King for a Day," Pixies "Bossanova" and Jane's Addiction "Ritual de lo Habitual." Yes, a little 90s nostalgia. Where the hell is kerrcarto and CD?

We had a fuggin monsoon up here last night and another one this morning. During the night I woke up to the sound of multiple waterfalls! Damnit to hell! My gutters were clogged again! This is three times now within the last six months and I've had it. Those two evergreens next to the garage are about to get whacked! Quote's in and it's gonna run me about $600 but it will be worth it. The others are too big and bad azzzz to whack but at least these two will alleviate about a quarter of the problem. Hell, I'm getting some serious firewood out of the deal for next winter. Anyway, when I got back home I brought out the Craftsman wet/dry vac and started suckin'. It's OK for guys to suck; it's only when dudes start blowin' that's when, you know, issues. Anyway, I had to climb onto the roof to hand clean the very top part. Note to self: cedar shake is slippery when wet! On my way back I pretty much slid on my ass all the way to the ladder. It took almost three hours to complete the job and none too soon because right afterward, I cracked open a cold one and then the monsoon returned. Damn it's really pouring out there. No waterfalls tonight bitches.

Here's some toonage from my personal collection...

video

So that's day 1 without news and I have, what, six more days to go? All news is bad news. Good news never makes the news but, in my case, no news is good news. But I'll at least get in this one plug...FUCK OBAMA! Had to say it because, after all, it is fuckin' Monday!

One more thing: I don't miss my kids, yet. Maybe in a couple of days I'll start missing them but right now this break is just what the doctor ordered.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Sunday Faith

OK, here it goes. I told CD last night that I am gonna go one week without clicking on any news sites, no talk radio, and no FoxNews. No current fucking events whatsoever! Just tunes. I think I'll get in some golf, too, and go fly fishing on the Sound with my buddy. My kids are gone for a couple of weeks and so this is my opportunity to hit the reset button. So that's the deal starting 3...2...1....Now...



I think Mike Patton might be some kind of a god.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Saturday Night Shitkicker

Can't beat good ole Texas music.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Death Care & Tax

Well, here it is. Go here. The Republicans have somehow managed to extract the timeline of "change" from the death care bill. I have concluded that Obama is the poster child of pure unadulterated evil. I don't know who is scarier; the Democrats or the people who elected these demons. But one thing is for sure; some awful days are ahead of us. I will not be assimilated. And as I told my dad the other day, "I would rather die than become a ward of the state." This is eerily similar to the cries of the last remaining middle class prior to the Roman Empire's final collapse, an event which ushered in the Dark Ages.

Somehow I get the feeling that Dark Ages II will be even darker. Have we opened the door for Satan's last hoorah on Earth?

Done!

Well, I've been putting it off long enough and decided to finally get my taxes done tonight. What a fuggin' nightmare! Thank God for TurboTax! At least I got to pound a few beers doing it online while watching the government take more of my money. By the way, Fuck.You.Government! Oh wait... you just dry-fucked me again didn't you?




Time to hit the sheets. I'm off work at noon tomorrow and that's one thing you cocksuckers in D.C. can't take away from me. At least not yet...

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Control?


Does it not strike y'all as weird, that the exact same crowd of people who railed against government in the 60's, are now the ones in government wanting to "control" us?
Strange no?

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

22 Pens


That is how many pens KNH used to sign the Health Destruction Bill. Now before any of you give me shit, I know all presidents use multiple pens to sign legislation. But 22? I remember when Bush signed things he used 3 pens one for George, one for W and one for Bush and I thought it was atrocious then.

I read a comment somewhere that claimed they are made by Cross and are $135.00 each! That's fucking $3000 for pens that will get used once! This is just another example of the entitlement mentality of the federal government employee. Why can't there be one presidential pen that stays in the Oval Office and signs everything? I will tell you why. This is why.

The White House reports that Obama will hand out the historic pens to the following witnesses:

1. Reid

2. Durbin

3. Baucus

4. Harkin

5. Dodd

6. Speaker Pelosi

7. Hoyer

8. Clyburn

9. Miller

10. Waxman

11. Levin

12. Dingell

13. Rangel

14. Vice President Biden

15. Sebelius

16. Vicki Kennedy

17. Nancy-Ann DeParle

18. Phil Schiliro

19. Sister Carol Keehan, presisdent of the Caholic Health Association

20. President Obama

21 & 22 The National Archives

What, no pen for the little victim they trotted out to watch The Asshat In Chief sign the bill?

I bet Nancy Reid is peeing its pants in glee. Oh to have a pen, what a joy.

Good thing in about three years those pens are going to be worth the same as the paper they signed.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

235 Years Ago Today

No man thinks more highly than I do of the patriotism, as well as abilities, of the very worthy gentlemen who have just addressed the House. But different men often see the same subject in different lights; and, therefore, I hope that it will not be thought disrespectful to those gentlemen, if, entertaining as I do opinions of a character very opposite to theirs, I shall speak forth my sentiments freely and without reserve.

This is no time for ceremony. The question before the House is one of awful moment to this country. For my own part I consider it as nothing less than a question of freedom or slavery; and in proportion to the magnitude of the subject ought to be the freedom of the debate. It is only in this way that we can hope to arrive at truth, and fulfill the great responsibility which we hold to God and our country. Should I keep back my opinions at such a time, through fear of giving offense, I should consider myself as guilty of treason towards my country, and of an act of disloyalty towards the majesty of heaven, which I revere above all earthly kings.

Mr. President, it is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of that siren, till she transforms us into beasts. Is this the part of wise men, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for liberty? Are we disposed to be of the number of those who, having eyes, see not, and having ears, hear not, the things which so nearly concern their temporal salvation?

For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth -- to know the worst and to provide for it. I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided; and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past. And judging by the past, I wish to know what there has been in the conduct of the British ministry for the last ten years, to justify those hopes with which gentlemen have been pleased to solace themselves and the House?

Is it that insidious smile with which our petition has been lately received? Trust it not, sir; it will prove a snare to your feet. Suffer not yourselves to be betrayed with a kiss. Ask yourselves how this gracious reception of our petition comports with these warlike preparations which cover our waters and darken our land. Are fleets and armies necessary to a work of love and reconciliation? Have we shown ourselves so unwilling to be reconciled that force must be called in to win back our love? Let us not deceive ourselves, sir. These are the implements of war and subjugation -- the last arguments to which kings resort. I ask gentlemen, sir, what means this martial array, if its purpose be not to force us to submission? Can gentlemen assign any other possible motives for it? Has Great Britain any enemy, in this quarter of the world, to call for all this accumulation of navies and armies?

No, sir, she has none. They are meant for us; they can be meant for no other. They are sent over to bind and rivet upon us those chains which the British ministry have been so long forging. And what have we to oppose to them? Shall we try argument? Sir, we have been trying that for the last ten years. Have we anything new to offer on the subject? Nothing.

We have held the subject up in every light of which it is capable; but it has been all in vain. Shall we resort to entreaty and humble supplication? What terms shall we find which have not been already exhausted? Let us not, I beseech you, sir, deceive ourselves longer.

Sir, we have done everything that could be done to avert the storm which is now coming on. We have petitioned; we have remonstrated; we have supplicated; we have prostrated ourselves before the throne, and have implored its interposition to arrest the tyrannical hands of the ministry and Parliament.

Our petitions have been slighted; our remonstrances have produced additional violence and insult; our supplications have been disregarded; and we have been spurned, with contempt, from the foot of the throne. In vain, after these things, may we indulge the fond hope of peace and reconciliation. There is no longer any room for hope.

If we wish to be free -- if we mean to preserve inviolate those inestimable privileges for which we have been so long contending -- if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged, and which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until the glorious object of our contest shall be obtained, we must fight! I repeat it, sir, we must fight! An appeal to arms and to the God of Hosts is all that is left us!

They tell us, sir, that we are weak -- unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be the next week, or the next year? Will it be when we are totally disarmed, and when a British guard shall be stationed in every house? Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance, by lying supinely on our backs, and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

Sir, we are not weak, if we make a proper use of the means which the God of nature hath placed in our power. Three millions of people, armed in the holy cause of liberty, and in such a country as that which we possess, are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us. Besides, sir, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just God who presides over the destinies of nations, and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us.

The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. Besides, sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Boston! The war is inevitable -- and let it come! I repeat it, sir, let it come!

It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, "Peace! Peace!" -- but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!

Patrick Henry - March 23, 1775

Seemed appropriate since
KNH is signing a liberty killing law into effect today.

Is Obama the Antichrist?

Just posing the question.

Monday, March 22, 2010

FADD

I am hijacking FOD and declaring it Fuck All Democrats Day.

So you rat fucks got your health care bill passed. All you Democrats who took special deals bribes better be prepared to reap the whirlwind when none of it comes true. Stupak you moron. You really think a presidential order will keep money from going to abortions? If you believe that, I bet he told you that he has absolutely no lobbyists or communists in his administration also. He can rescind that order during the middle of the night and there ain't a gotdamn thing you can do about it. Don't think he won't either. When he does it what are you going to do? Change your mind? If you still believe KNH after all the lies he has told in the last two years then you deserve to get fucked over. Hell he is signing the bill tomorrow. What happened to 72 hours?

That goes for all you other dickholes that voted for this freedom destroying POS bill. I hope you go home for easter recess and your greeted by the crowds of folks that you decided to give the finger to last night. You bunch of dumb mother fuckers just signed your own death ballots. Now the focus for the Republicans has to be to drag this fight out until November so we can vote these progressive and blue lap dog democrats out of office and repeal this law.

Fuck all you jackasses.

I will not comply

I've been sitting here all day trying to figure out WTF is going on. I am literally still in a state of disbelief. Last night I was partying a little too hard and when the breaking news came my buddy and I came real close to some fisticuffs. Our friend Sheraine had to split us up so he went into one corner and I stepped outside to smoke a stogy and cool off. This is a very serious matter and this legislation is intolerable. It can and will be repealed.

Washington, DC has turned into one really bad acid trip. These are some seriously sick fucking people and I think they're just getting warmed up. The corruption and hunger for power and control is unlike anything I have ever witnessed, and I have nothing but contempt for the Democrat Party and all those who support it. Divide and conquer? That appears to be the agenda. Well, fuck you. I have always proudly declared that I am a law abiding citizen, but civil disobedience is now the order of the day. Using whatever means necessary, I will engineer a way around this system. No government bureaucracy will control my health care decisions. Period. This is my life.

Our government has crossed the line and I will tolerate this group of statist fucks no longer. Washington is playing with fire.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Sunday Shitkicker


No crying in your beer.

For The Rockers Out There...

Friday, March 19, 2010

For All Our Teacher Friends

Go check out this blog. This teacher has vowed to eat school lunch with the kids for the entire 2010 school year. Some of it is pretty funny. Especially the one about the lasagna.

Gone Fishing

Both kids are off with friends fishing, so Robert and I threw in the canoe yesterday and tried our hand. We caught absolutely jack shit but it was a beautiful day and the beers went down smooth. Plus it was nice just to get out on the water. We had decided to go ahead and load up the boat and head back over to the house and finish off the 12 pack. We threw the canoe up on top of the trooper and were strapping her down when a car full of folks pulled up and said they are a kayaking group from out of town and needed some info on good places to go. Then the dude noticed my shirt.


Dude: "Hey I like that shirt! We're all vegans are you?"

Me: Uh, no.

Dude: "oh I see" (he finished reading the shirt)

I could tell a complete change in the dudes attitude. He went from really friendly to standoffish in 10 seconds. I told them of a few nice places to kayak and told them to have a nice day. He said thanks and drove off.

We might not have caught any fish but I ruined a hippies day and that makes it all worth wild.
Damn, I love it when a plan comes together.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Bombed

Was anybody else drunk enough last night to watch Joe Biden at the Radio & TV Correspondents' Dinner? Well if you missed it I got good and loaded (just trying to help make it funny) and watched the snoozefest. The only time he got laughs was when the audience was prompted that dude has no comedic timing at all. Here are just a few of the knee-slappers that you missed.

On St. Patrick's Day: "You all know St. Patrick is credited with banishing snakes from Ireland. But you guys know the truth, sometimes. There were never any snakes in Ireland. St. Patrick just made that up. Which explains why he's the patron saint of FOX News."

On Republican complaints that the health care bill is 2,022 pages long: "Put yourself in their spot. Just ask Sarah. That's a hell of a lot to write on the palm of your hand."

On the economic recovery act: "Republicans keep saying it hasn't created a single job. Well, tell that to Senator Scott Brown."

On the broadcast media: "I admire the skills required to be an anchor, a commentator, a talking head. I think you've got a pretty tough job. But occasionally I'm surprised by your lack of self awareness -- for example, when Dick Morris is quick to point out every time I put my foot in my mouth. Well, Dick, at least it's MY foot." (Morris was embroiled in a toe-sucking sex scandal with a prostitute back in the '90s.)

On his diplomatic dispute with Israel over the construction of new housing in East Jerusalem: "I just got back from five days in the Middle East. I love to travel, but it's great to be back in a place where a boom in housing construction is actually a good thing."

On meeting with Tiger Woods at the White House: "The job does have some perks, like when Tiger Woods came to see me and gave me some tips. Hey guys, they were golf tips."


BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JOE OMG THAT WAS FUNNY!...really the one making fun of the bad economy was fucking hillarious. Then you perfectly transition into the comedic genius of making fun of a bill that will destroy our constitution and try to trash a lady that handed you your ass in a debate and was one hell of a lot funnier than your ass....on Leno. Ooh ooh and trashing St. Patrick that was pure genius (that one did not go over well..crickets). And the way you made fun of our Isreali allies had me in stitches, I almost peed myself. Other than that it was a borefest Joe. You need to fire your joke writer.


If you have 13 minutes of your life to waste. Here is the video. What a fucking tool.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The people be damned...

We hate you, too, Hussein Obama.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

New Bumper Sticker

There was a letter to the editor in todays local rag that made a pretty good point and got my creative synapses firing. Here is the text of it.

Columnists continue to deride Bush, referring to him as ‘W’
It is quite apparent that many columnists (usually when deriding him) still use “W” when referring to George W. Bush.Then why not (usually when praising him), refer to Barack Hussein Obama as “H”? I wonder if it’s ever occurred to them. Makes perfect sense to me.


So that got the juices flowing and I fired out a new bumper sticker for his campaign in 2012.



I figured it got W re-elected so it should work for you also H.

I'm just trying to help.

Carol Plato, GOD Bless Your Soul...

Growing up in Southern Mexifornia my entire life, I have known of this illegal alien debacle for some time now. People are starting to wake up to the illegal alien cancer. The cancer that eats The United States from the core. If any politician on either side of the aisle had the balls to finally say, "Enough of this bullshit!" I would support them. 100%. Lets take care of the obvious problem first and move onto the next one.

Carol Plato, my hat is off to you for having a pair and telling it like it is. I wish there were more of you out there that we could recruit to Mexifornia...



"...so the fact that they're illegal is not enough crime..."

I watched this a few times and couldn't make out the guy's name at the end with the follow-up question, but it was a great closer, and it wasn't a question...

It was a backup comment and it's a fact. The water is finally starting to boil...

Sunday, March 14, 2010

FOD

Fuck Obama Day!

I spent a good 1/2 hour writing out my disgust with you and damning you obama, but this says it all in a nutshell better than I could ever dream of... Compliance? Respect? You will get none here. You must be kidding...



How's it hangin' America? You still on board with that white fucking guilt?

Today is dedicated to you assholes that voted for this piece of shit too. I hope you can sleep at night, cause I can't. What a fuckin' nighmare!

Saturday Blues

It's Saturday...er....early Sunday. It's late. I'm fuggin loaded, and I've got the blues...

video

Saturday, March 13, 2010

The Alamo

We took our annual trip to the Alamo yesterday and besides getting stuck with 4 other kids it was fun. I got me some new shirts out of the deal so I'm happy and the girl had a blast. She really loves Texas history!




Friday, March 12, 2010

Good Reading/Listening Material

I know I have posted these before. What can I say? I love 'em



Let 'em have it!!

I just called up my congresscritter's office and asked them a bunch of questions they couldn't answer. I concluded by telling them if my representative votes for this health bill I will do everything in my power to make sure this is his last term in office.

People, it's time to stand up and take care of business!! I urge all of you who read this to immediately pick up the phone and dial in. It will only take a minute. We must stop this health bill. Liberal or conservative I promise you this bill is destructive to all of us.

The enemy is right here in America. Fuck you Washington, DC!!

Refuse, Resist.

If I remember correctly, Paul posted this tune a few months ago, and I'm gonna have to post it again. We're not gonna let you assholes take anymore of our liberties. We're not gonna let you take any more of our freedoms as Americans. We're not going to let you take one more shit on our Constitution without reprocussions you blatent socialist assholes!

Try us!



Refuse. Resist.

Reject!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Inspiration from A Half Walrus and Half Gorilla

ELECTRONICS
moar funny pictures

GGDF PSM

This is a public service message to all you Prius owners.

If your accelerator gets stuck while your driving. PUT THE CAR IN NEUTRAL!!

That is all.

Insert title here...

How does one title a post like this?

I've lived here in Seattle going on 12 years, and I learn something new and fucked up about this city every year. Pictured here is...yes it is...Vladimir Lenin. The 7-ton bronze statue is located in Seattle's Fremont neighborhood, a...let's just say "colorful"...urban district about five miles north of downtown. I was working here this week and just about crashed my car when I saw this son of a bitch. Turns out it has quite the history.

So here's the picture I took just so you know I can't make this shit up. I don't know whether I'm really fucking mad, disappointed, or just cracking up. I guess one could see some humor in it, but since our country is so terribly crooked right now, any sane individual should probably see this as nothing more than a really sick joke gone bad.

I noticed a Dubliner Pub in the neighborhood, which was my favorite joint back in my Dallas days. So I'm gonna hit up this pub, get good and fucked up with my friends, and then I will piss on Lenin. I don't know how I'll get away with it but trust me, I'll find a way. And I'll take a picture just to prove it! BWAHAHAHAH!!!! Fuck Lenin and his little buddy Obama, too!!

Update: Aside from taking a picture of CharlieDelta passed the fuck out, this is the most retarded fucking picture I've ever taken.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Water (mellon) Gate: By Dan Rather

Whoops! BAAAAAAWAHAHAHAHAHA!

First of all, Dan Blather is a lying piece of shit liberal fucking hack! I swear, if I was to meet him in person I would beat his ass with an out-dated typewriter and spit in his face. Senile SOB is he! How this asshole has anyone following or believing anything he says is beyond me. After Memogate, this asshole should've been run out of town with torches and pitchforks. Fucking douchebag!

Not that I wanna know, but I wonder if Piss Matthews' tingley chub raised a few degrees after Blather made that obviously racist (yet funny) statement about watermellons and JHE? Or did it drop to a tingley 3.72 degrees?

I do have to give Blather credit for this one-liner though. Maybe he can find a new job doing stand-up comedy 'cause this is funny shit.



Flaming liberals are always accusing conservatives of racism and prejudice, but when there's no teleprompter in the room, their true colors come shinin' on through. Democrats have been holdin the black folks down since black folks have been votin' for democrats. It's a never-ending saga of hyprocricy. Excuse me, but I find it funny and sad at the same time...

Ah yes, the liberal mindset. Isn't it a wonder to behold? Nice one DanR.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Missed Me Missed Me Now You Gotta Go Fuck Yourself

Damnit, I missed the ACORN Agent census taker today. I was kinda looking forward to having a chat with them. But they left the forms on my doorknob and I took them in the house. I sat down at the kitchen table ripped open the envelope like a kid at Christmas and eagerly picked my pen (a red one at that) up to do my civic duty. It really wasn't that bad to fill out. Only one question. I answered it, folded it back up, put it in the pre-paid return envelope and returned it to my mailbox. The mailman postperson should be here any minute and my answer will be on it's way to the great eye. Let's see if they send another spy out to tell me I didn't fill it out correctly.

Monday, March 8, 2010

FOD

The jig is up mother fucker!! Y'all fucked with the wrong democrat and now he's fucking you. Gotta love the circular firing squad that is the democrat party right now. Your house of cards is starting to fall apart Bamster.

This is gonna be a good show, pass me a beer.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Kerrcarto In Wonderland

Since it was a shitty, pissy, Seatle day here in Texas we took the kids and one of the boys friends to see Alice In Wonderland. It was good, I would give it a 3.75 out of 5. The 3D was cool especially once she got into Underworld and Johnny Depp was spot on as the Mad Hatter. Helena Carter was a perfect Red Queen also. Some of it was hokey but all in all it wasn't a waste of $50 (for 5 people, yea.. I know WTF? Why so expensive). If you get a chance take your daughter at the least. Just like the book it was a great little girls movie.

But this is what I am really chomping at the bit to see Clash Of The Titans. I loved the original movie as a kid (I still have the VHS) and I know my boy will love it also. He recently finished the Percy Jackson book series and liked them so I know he will like Clash.

Can't wait!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

100,000

Holy shit! We done hit a milestone. Most of these hits are probably mine but cool nonetheless. Love all y'all who come around here and read our bullshit and talk to us. In the words of our great friend, Erica, "You're awesomesauce!"

This calls for a monster bong hit and a cold frosty brew! And a cool tune!

Saturday Funnies

SON OF A BITCH FISH!


The parish priest went on a fishing trip.

On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in.

The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!"

"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!"

"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a Bitch fish!"

"Really? Well then, help me land this Son of a Bitch!"

Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster.

"Father, that's the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen."

"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do with it?"

"Why, eat it! Of course, you've never tasted anything as good as Son of a Bitch!"

Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory.

While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip.

"Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!"

Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!"

"It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is, a Son of a Bitch fish!"

"Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a Bitch?"

Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a Bitch for his dinner.

"I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch," she said.

As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in.

"What are you doing Sister?"

"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the new Bishop's Dinner."

"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!"

"No, no, no, it's called a Son of a Bitch Fish."

"Really? Well in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go with it, and that Son of a Bitch can be the main course!"

"Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a Bitch."

On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent meal.

The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent.

The new Bishop said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"

"I caught that Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the proud priest.

"And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the Sister.

The Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a Bitch using a special recipe!"

The new Bishop looked around at each of them.

A big smile crept across his face as he said,

"You fuckers are my kind of people!"

My Two Cents

From Paul's Friday Night Anarchy, my computer speakers are shreddeed and my entertainment-center speakers are ready to fucking rock . That's exactly what they're doin' right now! Boom!



It's Friday for cryin' out loud. 4:05 needs volume... To be honest, this needs volume out of the gate!

Friday, March 5, 2010

I Will Survive



How many of you can say that? Cause it is coming!

Friday Night Anarchy!!

Democrats, the Party of Woodrow Wilson. Bunch of filthy fucking cockroaches. They just don't get it do they? We don't want the shit they're peddling and yet they peddle it anyway. These people are beyond stupidity; they're mentally deranged from Obama on down. Fuck you all. This song is just for you.

Your ears are about to melt...


Banned

I managed to get banned from a hate Sarah Palin group on facebook today. I wrote on the wall, "You're all a bunch of Communist fuck faces." Holy shit!! The kool-aid drinkers came out of the wood work. Not even 1 hour later my ass was fucking banned!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! Oh man you should've read the insults thrown at me. Any of you facebook users get on there and tell me if my comment is still on the wall. I don't remember the name of the group but it's the one with the red line crossed over Sarah's face. Fucking losers. Damn that was funny. I love poking the wasp nest every now and then.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Black History Month Celebrated

My Auntie Vicki sent me this little ditty today and it made me laugh and made me get a little fired up too. Finally some people with balls! Give these guys a raise!

LOS ANGELES - Three Los Angeles elementary school teachers accused of giving children portraits of O.J. Simpson, Dennis Rodman and RuPaul to carry in a Black History Month parade have been removed from their classrooms, a school district spokeswoman said Wednesday.

The incident occurred Friday at Wadsworth Avenue Elementary School in South Los Angeles, where the student body is more than 90 percent Latino.

90% Latino? I'm shocked! In California? I'm just shocked! I could go off on a whole other tangent on this, but I wont. This is about black history month afterall...

District Superintendent Ramon Cortines placed the teachers - all white men who teach first, second and fourth grades - on administrative leave on Tuesday while an investigation is conducted, Pollard-Terry said.

Administrative leave? Investigation? What the fuck is there to investigate? They were honoring black people for Chrissakes! Isn't that what black history month is all about? Honoring black's for being black? Setting one race aside as being special and ignoring the others? I mean, c'mon. These were three honkey-cracker educators who were doing their duty to participate in this bullshit "celebration" known as black history month. How about a little fucking gratitude for whitey for once?

This topic really pisses me off and I'm gonna do my best to keep this short and sweet or I could write a gotdamn book on it. Yes, I know blacks were treated like shit many, many years ago. No shit! So were the asians, mexicans, etc. This country and it's gaggle of guilt-ridden white liberal faggots have turned it into a circus show. It's the fucking "let's celebrate everything but the 'evil whitey' to feel better about ourselves" attitude about this shit that pisses me off. The Irish were treated like shit many, many years ago too. Remember, "Irish Need Not Apply"? Did you liberal turds forget about that one? Yeah, they was whitey, yo! Why don't we have an Irish History Month? Maybe a German History Month? How about a White History Month?

How about every month being an American History Month? Take your fucking BHM and cram it up your ass. It's obvious that those offended by these white teachers' actions consider themselves (enter race here) before they consider themselves Americans and that is their bottom line. Fuck that! And fuck you!

Okay, I've simmered down a tad. Back to the article...

"The superintendent will not let anyone make a mockery out of Black History Month," she said.

Why not? Black History Month in itself is a mockery of the "racial equality" that these hypocritical assholes claim they strive for. They don't want equality. They want white guilt-ridden liberal pussies to glorify the mistakes Americans made in the past so they can cash in on it. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Sharon Tinson, who has two daughters at the school and attended Friday's celebration, said she had been surprised to see Simpson displayed in the parade. But she noted that Simpson, like Rodman, was a great athlete before falling from grace. RuPaul simply has an alternative lifestyle, she added.

We're taling about 1st, 2nd and 4th grade kids here. Maybe the 4th grade kid heard about OJ brutally killing Nichole and Ron Goldman, but I really doubt it, and even if he did, I seriously doubt if he gives a shit either way. The 1st and 2nd grade kids don't know a fucking thing about anything. What's the big deal? Those kids are forced to be there to celebrate BHM and nothing more.

The issue was brought to district officials' attention by the Los Angeles chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People after the organization received a complaint early Monday, chapter President Leon Jenkins said.


*news flash* The NAACP is a cesspool of pimps and ho's feeding off the bottom as they always do. Out to play the "poor me" card as usual. Shit-eaters if you will. Do you think any of those 1st, 2nd or 4th graders complained? Me either...

Jenkins said he felt the teachers acted in concert to mock black heroes and children's innocence.


Mock black 'heroes' and 'children's innocence'? WTF? There were never any asian, latino, or irish hero's? Why do you put blacks on a pedestal Jenkins? Feeling a little guilty are we? Were you a hero? There are a shitload of hero's in North America of many different races. Not just blacks. Consider that for a while and get back to me you fucking douchebag! Riddle me this Blackman, how was a child's innocence "mocked"? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Please elaborate, Jenkins you fucking tool!

"These are not the people we want our young people to emulate or believe these people represent the best of the African-American community," Jenkins said. "It's hard for the NAACP to believe this was a mistake."

But they're black, and they were celebrating BHM so what's the fucking problem? The NAACP is a racist organization in of itself. Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black? BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHA!

Some parents at the school on Wednesday said the issue was overblown.


Under-fucking-statement!

Jenkins said he is calling for the teachers to be fired.

Jenkins should be the one fired. You're the true racist and the true RBPP! Fuck you Jenkins! You're just another asshole causing all of the problems and tension. You are another wrench in the works and you really need to get your ass kicked in a major way!



She knows what she wants...






Some consistancy would be nice for once you fucking hypocritical liberal bed-wetters. I know you're still children, but make up your minds for once will ya?

The Purple Freedom Eater

Remember the last time you saw a president wear a purple tie. Yea, me neither.

Who ya think that was a silent shout out to in his health care speech teleprompter read? SEIU? Naah, what am I thinking, he hates that bastard Andy Stern.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Blast From The Past

This last weekend campin' was some of the best campin' I have done in a long time. There were no arguments, no rookie-firearms-handlers, no annoying kids, no BLM fucking with us, and the weather was some of the best that I can remember in a long time.

I've finally caught up on the emails and just came across one my (Uncle) Dave sent me over the weekend. I can't stop laughing at this shit...

The boys and I (even Donna) visited Tumco many times in the 80s and early 90s, when a Canadian company came in and strip-mined it. Now it's a state historical site, no more mines...no more camping...bummer. I guess we were fortunate to see it when we did. The Golden Queen was one of the best mines we ever explored. The pics were taken in 1986...Yaif' and CD were 14, Ron was 11, Beeez was 9( my editing) ...I was 36... HA!

Damn, I can't stop laughin'! These are some of the best memories I have as a kid, and I hope Nicholas and Brad have some of the same!






Uncle Dave, I can't thank you enough for the desert education. I've learned a lot since '86 and I can't thank you enough for it. We'll pass it on, and that's a promise...






















These dudes will too!


Just Sayin

When a government has ceased to protect the lives, liberty and property of the people, from whom its legitimate powers are derived, and for the advancement of whose happiness it was instituted, and so far from being a guarantee for the enjoyment of those inestimable and inalienable rights, becomes an instrument in the hands of evil rulers for their oppression.

When the Federal Republican Constitution of their country, which they have sworn to support, no longer has a substantial existence, and the whole nature of their government has been forcibly changed, without their consent, from a restricted federative republic, composed of sovereign states, to a consolidated central military despotism, in which every interest is disregarded but that of the army and the priesthood, both the eternal enemies of civil liberty, the everready minions of power, and the usual instruments of tyrants.

When, long after the spirit of the constitution has departed, moderation is at length so far lost by those in power, that even the semblance of freedom is removed, and the forms themselves of the constitution discontinued, and so far from their petitions and remonstrances being regarded, the agents who bear them are thrown into dungeons, and mercenary armies sent forth to force a new government upon them at the point of the bayonet.

When, in consequence of such acts of malfeasance and abdication on the part of the government, anarchy prevails, and civil society is dissolved into its original elements. In such a crisis, the first law of nature, the right of self-preservation, the inherent and inalienable rights of the people to appeal to first principles, and take their political affairs into their own hands in extreme cases, enjoins it as a right towards themselves, and a sacred obligation to their posterity, to abolish such government, and create another in its stead, calculated to rescue them from impending dangers, and to secure their future welfare and happiness.

Nations, as well as individuals, are amenable for their acts to the public opinion of mankind. A statement of a part of our grievances is therefore submitted to an impartial world, in justification of the hazardous but unavoidable step now taken, of severing our political connection with the Mexican people, and assuming an independent attitude among the nations of the earth.

The Mexican government, by its colonization laws, invited and induced the Anglo-American population of Texas to colonize its wilderness under the pledged faith of a written constitution, that they should continue to enjoy that constitutional liberty and republican government to which they had been habituated in the land of their birth, the United States of America.

In this expectation they have been cruelly disappointed, inasmuch as the Mexican nation has acquiesced in the late changes made in the government by General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna, who having overturned the constitution of his country, now offers us the cruel alternative, either to abandon our homes, acquired by so many privations, or submit to the most intolerable of all tyranny, the combined despotism of the sword and the priesthood.

It has sacrificed our welfare to the state of Coahuila, by which our interests have been continually depressed through a jealous and partial course of legislation, carried on at a far distant seat of government, by a hostile majority, in an unknown tongue, and this too, notwithstanding we have petitioned in the humblest terms for the establishment of a separate state government, and have, in accordance with the provisions of the national constitution, presented to the general Congress a republican constitution, which was, without just cause, contemptuously rejected.

It incarcerated in a dungeon, for a long time, one of our citizens, for no other cause but a zealous endeavor to procure the acceptance of our constitution, and the establishment of a state government.

It has failed and refused to secure, on a firm basis, the right of trial by jury, that palladium of civil liberty, and only safe guarantee for the life, liberty, and property of the citizen.

It has failed to establish any public system of education, although possessed of almost boundless resources, (the public domain,) and although it is an axiom in political science, that unless a people are educated and enlightened, it is idle to expect the continuance of civil liberty, or the capacity for self government.

It has suffered the military commandants, stationed among us, to exercise arbitrary acts of oppression and tyrrany, thus trampling upon the most sacred rights of the citizens, and rendering the military superior to the civil power.

It has dissolved, by force of arms, the state Congress of Coahuila and Texas, and obliged our representatives to fly for their lives from the seat of government, thus depriving us of the fundamental political right of representation.

It has demanded the surrender of a number of our citizens, and ordered military detachments to seize and carry them into the Interior for trial, in contempt of the civil authorities, and in defiance of the laws and the constitution.

It has made piratical attacks upon our commerce, by commissioning foreign desperadoes, and authorizing them to seize our vessels, and convey the property of our citizens to far distant ports for confiscation.

It denies us the right of worshipping the Almighty according to the dictates of our own conscience, by the support of a national religion, calculated to promote the temporal interest of its human functionaries, rather than the glory of the true and living God.

It has demanded us to deliver up our arms, which are essential to our defence, the rightful property of freemen, and formidable only to tyrannical governments.

It has invaded our country both by sea and by land, with intent to lay waste our territory, and drive us from our homes; and has now a large mercenary army advancing, to carry on against us a war of extermination.

It has, through its emissaries, incited the merciless savage, with the tomahawk and scalping knife, to massacre the inhabitants of our defenseless frontiers.

It hath been, during the whole time of our connection with it, the contemptible sport and victim of successive military revolutions, and hath continually exhibited every characteristic of a weak, corrupt, and tyrranical government.

These, and other grievances, were patiently borne by the people of Texas, untill they reached that point at which forbearance ceases to be a virtue. We then took up arms in defence of the national constitution. We appealed to our Mexican brethren for assistance. Our appeal has been made in vain. Though months have elapsed, no sympathetic response has yet been heard from the Interior. We are, therefore, forced to the melancholy conclusion, that the Mexican people have acquiesced in the destruction of their liberty, and the substitution therfor of a military government; that they are unfit to be free, and incapable of self government.

The necessity of self-preservation, therefore, now decrees our eternal political separation.

We, therefore, the delegates with plenary powers of the people of Texas, in solemn convention assembled, appealing to a candid world for the necessities of our condition, do hereby resolve and declare, that our political connection with the Mexican nation has forever ended, and that the people of Texas do now constitute a free, Sovereign, and independent republic, and are fully invested with all the rights and attributes which properly belong to independent nations; and, conscious of the rectitude of our intentions, we fearlessly and confidently commit the issue to the decision of the Supreme arbiter of the destinies of nations.



Richard Ellis, President
of the Convention and Delegate
from Red River.

Charles B. Stewart
Tho. Barnett



John S. D. Byrom
Francis Ruis
J. Antonio Navarro
Jesse B. Badgett
Wm D. Lacy
William Menifee
Jn. Fisher
Matthew Caldwell
William Motley
Lorenzo de Zavala
Stephen H. Everett
George W. Smyth
Elijah Stapp
Claiborne West
Wm. B. Scates
M. B. Menard
A. B. Hardin
J. W. Burton
Thos. J. Gazley
R. M. Coleman
Sterling C. Robertson

James Collinsworth
Edwin Waller
Asa Brigham


Geo. C. Childress
Bailey Hardeman
Rob. Potter
Thomas Jefferson Rusk
Chas. S. Taylor
John S. Roberts
Robert Hamilton
Collin McKinney
Albert H. Latimer
James Power
Sam Houston
David Thomas
Edwd. Conrad
Martin Parmer
Edwin O. Legrand
Stephen W. Blount
Jms. Gaines
Wm. Clark, Jr.
Sydney O. Pennington
Wm. Carrol Crawford
Jno. Turner



Benj. Briggs Goodrich
G. W. Barnett
James G. Swisher
Jesse Grimes
S. Rhoads Fisher
John W. Moore
John W. Bower
Saml. A. Maverick (from Bejar)
Sam P. Carson
A. Briscoe
J. B. Woods
H. S. Kimble, Secretary


Happy Birthday Texas.
Stolen From Here

Happy Independence Day Texas!


Today marks 174 years of Texas Independence! Next Friday we are off to the Alamo again (I think this will make my 6th trip with the school) for the tour and then to watch the movie in the Imax theater down the street. I never get tired of it though. I learn something new everytime. Hey CD you still got that picture of me and you at the Alamo?


Remember The Alamo!!

Today is also the 100th anniversary of the first military flight. They are having a celebration at Ft. Sam Houston in San Antonio.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Corps Or Corpse?

Okay one more. I gotta hit the sheets. I have lots of sleep to catch up on and the longer I sit here the less I'm getting. Oh yeah, and it's still Monday so here's my contribution to FOD. What a fucking dickhead!



Fuck you Obama!

Homeboy Messes With The Wrong 67 Year Old

I'm still trying to recoup from this last weekend's party in the desert so I don't really have much. My Uncle Jim sent me this one over the weekend and I had to watch it a few times. Take that Tyrone! I fucking love it!

NSFW due to language.



Oh yeah, and Happy FOD everyone. I guarantee homeboy axin' fo the "amblance" voted for this piece of shit we are forced to call POTUS! Fuck him too!

Look What Came In The Mail




I received this from the Heritage Foundation in the mail this weekend. It contained a ballot that they sent out to vote on lower or higher taxes and less or more gov't spending. Guess how I filled it out.

I mailed it back today. They are going to tally the votes and send the results to Washington. I can't wait to see how it turns out!

Whoops, kinda clipped the second picture.

FOD

The muse is sleeping today or maybe she is just hungover. So here is a picture my uncle sent me.

Gov. Debra Medina?

I know I don't live in Texas anymore but I was born and raised a Texan. So I still care very much about Texas and its politics.

Glen Beck doesn't like Debra Medina. When he concluded that there is a real possibility Medina is a 9-11 Truther he pretty much wrote her off as a freakshow. Well. Can't agree with those I am allied with 100% of the time I guess. And to kerrcarto's dismay, I don't necessarily write off the 9-11 Truthers because I have my suspicions as well. But anyway, Debra Medina supports abolishing huge chunks of the federal government, repealing all gun control laws, lowering taxes, and achieving much needed control of the Texas/Mexico border. This is my kind of woman right here.

Her competition? A couple of RINOs: Rick Perry and Kay Bailey Hutchison. Rick Perry can suck Bush's dick as far as I'm concerned. He's a fucking douchebag who has been selling out Texas to the wetbacks for years. I don't trust him, and I never have. Now Kay Bailey Hutchison is a little different. I have met her before and she is a warm individual and smart. She's a patriot. But she lost me big time when she wimped out on the comprehensive immigration (aka amnesty) debate, and she did not uphold fiscal conservative values during the Republicans' most shameful reign in Washington, DC. Rick Perry and Kay are both, unfortunately, Bush RINOs; a breed of American politician I think we can all do without. I mean look at it this way; we have Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid because of the Bush RINOs. Need anymore reasons as to why Texas should not support Rick Perry or Kay Bailey Hutchison? I didn't think so.

So I'm rooting for Debra Medina even though it really is none of my friggin' beezwax.