You've gotta bookmark Texts from Last Night into your web browser and hit it whenever you are in need of a good laugh! This is the funniest thing I've discovered in a long time! Cheers to Missy for bringing this to my attention!
Oooooh fuck. Chicks a dude.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.