Thursday, July 7, 2011

Now What?

19 Saudi Crazies - AKA: The 9/11 Terrorists = The Department of Homeland Security is created. (Thanks G.W.B)

Richard Reid - AKA: The Shoe Bomber = We have to take our shoes off at the airport.

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab - AKA: The Underwear Bomber = TSA Crotch Assaults

UH OH!

WASHINGTON (AP) — The U.S. government is warning airlines that some terrorists are considering surgically implanting explosives into humans to carry out attacks.

There is no intelligence pointing to a specific plot, but the U.S. has shared this information with executives at domestic and international carriers.


Hope you ladies with breast implants are ready to show them puppies off to some TSA agent. He/She/It might even have to do some poking and prodding to make sure they are really fake (Is that an oxymoron?).

Hope you didn't just have a vasectomy. "Hey is that a fresh scar? We need to take you back into one of the deeper inspection rooms, where we have a surgeon on call."

Deeper down the rabbit hole we go folks.

6 comments:

Harper said...

I think they made up the threat to justify the groping. Does it make sense to continually announce to the world and its terrorists what we think their latest plans are?

What is really disturbing is that people who have already been through horrific pain and trauma - accidents, war zone injuries - and have medical metal in their bodies will be the ones most closely scrutinized by the TSA.

Paul said...

I sent the kids off to their mom's yesterday. We went through TSA at Seattle-Tacoma International. Radiation machines in full force with all their glory but I was able to finagle ourselves into the line that went through the metal detectors. Whew! That's two times in a row now I've been able to stay out of those porno scanners.

Goldenrod said...

TSA is really getting under my skin.
Seriously, the people do have the power, just refuse to fly. I know, I know, there are untold numbers of people that absolutely HAVE to be somewhere.
Damn glad I ain't one of'em. I prefer to pick the person to 'feel me up.'

CharlieDelta said...

I haven't had to fly anywhere since my last trip to Blownstar in 2010, so I'm really interested in what this shit is actually like to deal with in person. I've heard the stories and read about all the bullshit, but I'm not even sure how I'm going to react until I experience it first hand. I already have a short fuse when dealing with all the bullshit that comes with flying. I always have. I always will. The next time I fly is going to be really interesting. A true test of my (lack of) patience.

I'm sure that no matter what happens, I'll push the envelope verbally just shy of being arrested. Sure, I'll go through the motions, but that doesn't mean that I have to do it quietly. Fuck that! Maybe I'll have some anti-TSA shirts made by then. I'm almost looking forward to verbally assaulting some TSA union asshole.

I'm still pondering whether or not to wear a spiked cockring and opt for the scanner. That would be a nice conversation starter, eh?

Harper said...

I'm still pondering whether or not to wear a spiked cockring and opt for the scanner. That would be a nice conversation starter, eh?

Depends on the size.

CharlieDelta said...

Doh! Okay Harper you got me. I guess I should've said a "small" conversation starter...