Thursday, July 28, 2011

Pure Genius!

Whoever came up with this idea is a fucking genius.








I could make a killing opening up a place with signs like this. Great marketing. All of the poor, sober, unhappily-married, poor-bastard friends of mine would be in there every weekend making me rich instead of tagging along with the ol' lady to shop for doilies, quilts, tampons, shoes, clothes, and/or jewelery. They could avoid that ever-so-fucked-up "last stop" at Michael's for craft and scrap booking bullshit surrounded by blue-hairs and fat, smelly Mexicans! Fuck that! But I'll expand on the idea a bit. My building will also house a 10-lane bowling alley, a few brass poles and VIP rooms, topless smokin' hot waitresses, a shooting range in the basement, pool tables, air hockey, 150" big screens in the full-service bar and live music every weekend. Sounds like a place I could really fall in love with!

Speaking of drinkin unholy amounts of alcohol and watching live music, I'm trying to score a few tickets for tomorrow night's show at Humphrey's. It's right on the bay and the sound at this place is fucking killer. I've only been there twice. Once to see Bad Company play (Cougars were EVERYWHERE! It was awesome!) and once to see The Moody Blues in 2003. Damn, everyone was firing down big fat doobies for that show! Good times. I've seen Thorogood a few times but it was over a decade ago and I was really burned out on his music. I'm still a little burned out on all of his songs that every fucking radio station plays. You know the ones. Well, this is one of those radio songs too, but this is the song that makes having to put up with the other shit all worth it. Especially live! Hopefully some dickweed greedy scalper will be down there desperate to sell a few tickets at the last second and I'll be able to swoop in, low-ball his dumbass, sweeten the deal for him with a fat joint, and see Thorogood for under $50/ticket. We'll see. Fuck yeah! It's Friday Eve and I'm pretty happy about that right now. I have no Burbon, no Scotch, but a shitload of beer and my weekend is going to start right now crankin' this. Cheers!

7 comments:

Paul said...

I'm in! Let's open it!

kerrcarto said...

Ditto! The Criplets Drunkhouse. Sounds like a winner! Only problem is, how would we ever turn a profit?

Paul said...

Stimulus funds? Oh wait...

CharlieDelta said...

One way to help turning a profit would be to keep us the fuck out of there, especially out of the bar. Oh and we'd have to ban Paul from the VIP rooms, 'cause he would blow his wad in more ways than one. BWAHAHHAHHA!

PeggyU said...

Umm ... I wanna be dropped off at the daycare! Not keen on the strippers, but the rest of it sounds better than a trip to Michael's!

CharlieDelta said...

PeggyU-
To me, a root canal without any anesthetic while listening to a speech about starving African children by Sally Struthers, followed by a 2 hour lecture by Mike fatfuck Moore on the "evils of firearms" sounds better than a trip to Michael's. GOD I hate that fucking store!

PeggyU said...

CD - I like to draw/paint so I go there once in a while. Really, I'd rather buy pencils at Michael's than listen to Michael Moore or Obama or Pelosi.

There is an art supply store downtown, but they charge about twice as much for the same stuff.
I'll pick up the pencils first and meet you at the daycare. How's that?