Monday, October 31, 2011

Helloween!

Mondays suck! That's why Fuck Obama Day is on Mondays. Speaking of the Cooncracker, you guys read this article about his cupid stunt wife? The hypocrisy is so tender and juicy. And she's what, a Princeton graduate? But when I read her statements like the ones in the article, she sounds juvenile. So does the Cooncracker. I guess this is how they have to talk considering their voter base. Or maybe both of them really are just plain fucking stupid. I really can't stand either of these people. I'm sure their two daughters are a couple of spoiled little bitches, too. You know, for the first time in my adult life, I'm going to be "proud of my country"...in November 2012 when we vote this communist in thief and that gaffe machine Biden out.

I hate Mondays, but at least it's Halloween. Tonight will be the usual trick or treat with the kiddos and a bottle of rum in tow. One of my neighbors pulls a red wagon loaded with ice cold beer. We'll be shitfaced by 9.

Here's a joke. You suppose this happened on a Monday? LMAO!

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."

Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.

When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the phone is still ringing - when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke. The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!"

2 comments:

kerrcarto said...

Ha! 8:44 and I am shitfaced. Beat ya' Slacker.

InsomniacSeeker said...

I think it's the kids making you guys get hammered. That stupid bitch. Who the hell does she think is giving that dick all their money? It's certainly not the crackheads in the projects. Love the joke every time I read it or hear it.

Tina