Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Respect My Authoritah!!!

Yesterday morning I rolled out of bed around 8:00 planning on getting dressed and heading down to the WalMart Tire Center and getting some new tires put on my truck. I knew I needed tires about 10k miles ago, but it's not even the rain season here yet, so I was going to hold out for as long as possible. Not only that, the tires I wanted aren't cheap, and I didn't want to have to drop that kind of money right now with CA EDD fucking me over and all. But after driving around in the rain last weekend changed my mind and made my decision for me. I was spinnin' my rear tires and gettin' squirley around corners if I was accelerating at the time. That ain't cool, so my truck was getting new shoes no matter what. Even if that meant I had to make extra money working for the Obama campaign day and night like kerrcarto and Harper do.


Nah, I could never do that. I have way too much self respect to do something that dirty and evil for a little extra cash. I don't know how kerrcarto and Harper can do that and still look at themselves in the mirror without either puking or swallowing a shotgun. I guess they just love what they do...

After breakfast, taking care of the three S's, and fucking around with the computer for a couple hours burning some thrash compilation cd's for my truck, I got to the Walmart just before noon. They didn't have the ones I wanted in stock, so the tire dude called around other stores and located a set of four. When he told me which WalMart store had the tires, I cringed. In fact, I almost just said fuck it and went to the bar instead, but my truck needed new shoes and I was going to get it some. So I got on the 805 and headed south about 10 miles. I had never been to this WalMart before, but I knew it was going to be bad because it's literally less than 3 miles north of our border with Mexico. You know what that means? Yeah, that means God was testing me. Or just fucking with me!! I already knew what to expect because I grew up just a little north of where I was headed and it was bad back then. So I got into the parking lot and it was exactly how I remembered it being. Nothing but a sea of wetbacks shopping their balls off , driving all fucked up and slow like they're still in TJ, and clogging up intersections in their shitty Mexi-trucks with and shitty little Mexi-mobiles with custom paint, and curb feelers that burn oil and smell like that shitty Mexican gasoline. But I digress...

Why should I expect any less, with places like WalMart and Sam's Club in AZ and TX catering to these wetbacks with full on Spanish-only stores. I was really surprised Mexifornia wasn't mentioned in that little piece. That would be fine for the MexiMart stores in TJ or wherever south of the Mexican border to have Spanish-only, but this is happening in the United States. WTF! Had I read about this shit before yesterday I would've taken my truck elsewhere for tires. I'm not saying I will never shop at WalMart ever again, but I'm going to give my money to Target Stores first. I've never even been in a Sam's Club, and that makes it easy to never go in one. Ever. Fuck them both!! Thank you to White Civil Rights for posting about it. I never heard about that shit on the LSM. Did anyone else? I didn't think so.

So three hours, a few separate but equally intense cravings for a bowl of green goodiness, two shitty MexDonalds double cheeseburgers, a large order of cold flavorless fries, two cokes, and a pack and a half of cigarettes later my truck was done. Finally! Fuck. When I first left my house to run this "simple" errand I almost grabbed my little Igloo cooler to throw in some tall boys and ice and thought, "You can't just drink beer in the waiting room or parking lot of WalMart. You'll be in and out in an hour. Fuck it!" What a rookie move! Beer would've made all the difference today. It would have been no problem slugging beers in that parking lot either. Behind the tire center was an ice plant hill overlooking the freeway and out of plain view. It would've been perfect.

So when I went to pay, I swiped my Visa and the Mexiclut behind the register tells me it isn't taking the card. I swiped it again. Still no go. I hand it to her and tell her to type in the number by hand. So she swipes the card and hands it back all bitchy and says my card is no good. So I get out of the way so the next person can pay for their shit while I call my credit card company. The first call when I got a real person on the phone, somehow we get disconnected. Second call, my phone lost the signal and dropped the call. At this point I just want to pay for the tires and get the fuck out of there. So I hand her my debit card. Without looking she takes it and says, "I told you this card doesn't work." I said back, "Look at the fucking card. It's a different one!" It got silent for a second in the WalMart Tire Center, and then the Mexcrement waiting in line behind started whispering to each other. Like it mattered one way or another. I don't know Beanspeak and I didn't and I don't need to hear what the motherfuckers are babbling about anyways. The cashier bitch got a little nicer once I used the "F" bomb on her, but she was still a mexiclut. When she was handing me my warranty information I asked, "So I'm not gonna to get a couple charges on my credit card am I? You know? It was swiped three times and $696.00 times three is a lot of money." in a joking but serious way. She says, "Like I say before, that card didn't work." I said okay, grabbed my key and receipt from her and walked out of there happy to be leaving that beanfest after nearly four fucking hours. Four hours of aggravation, irritation, boredom, and sobriety during it all. What a long fucking day! That was enough Mexposure for this gringo to last a lifetime and have plenty to spare.

On the way home I stopped at 7-11 and picked up a 24 oz. can of exactly what the doctor ordered; ice cold happiness and instant frown-upside-down relief in a can. When I was paying for my beer I got a call from a restricted number, which I typically don't answer. For some reason this time I didn't even think twice before I answered. I'm glad I did. It was my credit card company calling me about some "suspicious" charges to my account. I interrupted the guy on the other end and asked if he was calling about a couple $700.00 charges at WalMart. Sure as shit there were. I explained to the guy the whole ordeal about me trying to call them and getting disconnected, etc. and that I ultimately paid with my debit card so any WalMart charges to my card were bogus. 10 minutes with that guy and everything was cleared up and squared away. Well almost everything.

When I got home I Googled the number and relevant information for that particular store, but then noticed my receipt had the phone number as well as Store Manager's name. So I called, thinking they would send me to his voice mail or some shit like that. I asked for him by name and a few seconds later he answered the phone. I was really nice and polite, didn't swear once (which is hard for me to do), and laid out my complaint about my WalMart experience and the rude cashier. I told him how much I had just spent at his store, about the charges to my Visa that "didn't work" me asking her if she was sure nothing was charged and she was. He apologized, which is his job to do so it's meaningless, and said he would be following up with this particular cashier.

Yeah, I know how that routine goes. I was a cashier at Home Base for 5 years in my early 20's and there were all kinds of complaints about me from the Mexcrement shoppers that I didn't take any shit from. Nothing ever happened to me except I would get verbal warnings (if you can even call them that) that I needed to mellow out a little bit. I never even got written up, and I spent most of my time there right on the edge of the line. I even crossed the line a few times cause it felt good, and I didn't get fired, suspended, written up or anything. I didn't call to get her fired, even though that would be bitchen if I had that kind of convincing power over people. I basically called to get it off my chest so I could forget about it and enjoy a few beers while admiring my badass new tires before it was time for dinner.

I'm going to have to go to the desert one more time before I'm out of Mexifornia. These tires are just begging to climb some near-vertical hills. It's been a while since I've had my truck in Low 4WD too, so it's about that time again. Gotta keep that shit lubed and used.

I would like to introduce to you, the Goodyear Wrangler Series "Authority A/T", proudly made in the U.S.A., and ready to climb some burly hills in the Mexifornia desert. I used to buy the BF Goodrich A/T tires cause they had a lot of tread for grabbing too, but BFG was bought by the Michelin Group, and Michelin is a French company. Fuck France! And fuck the French! I learned of the BFG/Michelin relationship in '03 or '04, around the height of the French boycott from the guys over at Fuck France, and I've stopped buying anything French owned since then. I bought Cooper's the next time I needed tires and they're a US company. They were nice A/T tires, but they were around $200/tire, and that was in '05/'06. Probably close to $300/tire by now.

Check out the meat on these fuckers...



A big thanks to White Civil Rights for having the balls and brains to have a site dedicated to us
European-descended peoples, or what I prefer to be called, crackers or peckerwoods. I learned something about WalMart tonight that will change where I will choose to spend, and not spend my money. As a bonus, I have a new site to check out daily, and will be spreading the word to my crackers in arms. Keep up the stellar work...

And a thanks to Urban Dictionary for hours of laughing while browsing Mexinology and hilariously non-PC definitions which for the most part, are about as accurate as they can possibly be. I would also like to add a sarcastic “thanks a lot” for contributing to scattering my already-scattered brain, keeping me up most of the night writing, and tripling the length of this post.


RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!!! If you are reading this and don't really habla' "authoritah", maybe this guy can help all of you Mexcrement cocksuckers with the translation...

Adios, putos!


5 comments:

kerrcarto said...

A&A Tire here in Kerrtucky will have you in and out in less that an hour. Just a little incentive.

CharlieDelta said...

That's pretty cool. But I don't suppose there is much Mexcrement around either though, right? They seem to slow everything down, except for the grey'ing of my hair and my heart rate....

Cavedogg said...

CD

Thats why I own dogs they like dark meat. Had one nail a mex by the well one night. Border patrol pickied him up and told the wife he saw a cayote bite the man.

Sorry you had to go there man but at least you are getting the hell out of here soon.

Still got that beer waitng on ya.

Bear said...

Nice kicks. Take a few pictures when you get to the desert, and don't roll the bitch:)

I know what ya mean with all the Mexcrement around too. I live in Apple Country, where they come by the truckloads to work the orchards.

They're just like any other race.... there are a handful that a decent folks. Good workers, know (and use) English and happily take on the junk that nobody else wants to do. And just like any other race, there's a handful that need completely eradicated. Worthless welfare leeches that take up entirely too much space and shit out kids like it's their job.

My main problem is our society bending over backwards to accommodate these people. I have no problem with having some things set up to help acclimate Hispanics to our area, language and customs, but we've basically created a culture where they don't need to learn about any of the aforementioned to live here. Again, it wouldn't be a problem except every now and then I have to communicate with these people and it pisses me off.

CharlieDelta said...

Well put Bear. One thing I have to disagree with though is the part about setting up ways to help them acclimate to this country. We could set up all kinds of different ways in an attempt to get them acclimated, but it would be another waste of tax payer money. Another waste of breath. Now, if we had something set up that would REQUIRE them to speak FLUENT English to live here or face immediate deportation, I might be singing a different tune.

I grew up here about 7 miles north of that non-existent border we have with Me-hico. I was a cashier @ Home Depot while I was in high school (which was 75% Mexcrement students) and a couple years after I graduated. I've been in the middle of the wetback infestation my entire life. They want to take back "what the US 'stole' from them." They don't want to acclimate. They don't think they should have to. It's that simple.

If I've learned anything in my 39 years, it's that these motherfuckers aren't interested in acclimating to anything United States related, with the exception of welfare, Section 8 housing, and "free" medical care. A lot of them speak English, but won't unless speaking English will get them something. Here in Mexifornia, EVERYTHING is in multiple languages to accommodate them, which kills all incentive that they may have had, if any, to learn to READ AND SPEAK ENGLISH.

I could go on and on for hours about my Mexperiences having to deal with these motherfuckers, but that's for another time. Over a case of beer. When there is nothing around for me to utterly destroy and smash to pieces...