gottagetdrunkfirst: (Sun.) Harper Is So Fucking Cool...

Sunday, November 20, 2011

(Sun.) Harper Is So Fucking Cool...

How cool you may ask? Well I'll tell ya. Harper is so fucking cool that when I moved to a new house a couple years ago, she sent me a badass 8'x12' official U.S. Flag that was flown over the United States Capitol as a house warming gift. This thing was huge! And it got me to have the landlord fix the light by the flagpole that was already there. How did she know how much I love and appreciate the Stars and Stripes? Well, Harper is just that fucking cool, duh! It was by far the best house warming gift I have ever received. Seriously. Bad. Fucking. Ass.

I am pissed off right now because I can't find the picture I took of Old Glory hoisted proudly atop the 20' flagpole the day it showed up on my doorstep. I've looked through endless folders on my external drive and can't find that damn pic. But I did find the pictures of the RoastMyWeenie set that Harper sent me as another thoughtful and practical gift for when I went camping. So. Fucking. Cool.

I wish I had the conversation recorded when I busted these things out after everyone was good and hammered around the campfire. The shit talking just kept going and going. My stomach hurt from laughing so hard. Good times.

If you still doubt just exactly how cool Harper is, you are a mega-doooosh and should probably check into a 12-step program for Mega-Doooosh Anonymous, because frankly you are one.

And I have to correct you Harper, I do have to post a daily example of your "so fucking coolness." I am a drunk of my word. I assumed Paul would pull this one off and had a maniacal plan of a week's worth of CBU's in store for him, but you sneaked in there with that awesome ambush and took us both out. Fair is fair. Besides, I can improvise, overcome and adapt to nearly anything. This is baby food... :-)

2 comments:

Paul said...: LOL! I would have been first were it not for that little time zone thingy. Harper has two hours on us.; November 21, 2011 at 11:03 AM
CharlieDelta said...: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's easy to say now isn't it, Paul? LOL!

Would've, could've, should've.... didn't.

If I WOULD'VE left out #3 and #5 in my hints like I SHOULD'VE, neither one of you clowns WOULD'VE or COULD'VE gotten it without a little CSI-style detective work and a LOT of luck. But I DIDN'T...; November 21, 2011 at 4:06 PM

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Pure Genius

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

~Sir Winston Churchill

To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

~Homer Simpson

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
~W.C. Fields

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
~Benjamin Franklin

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
~Hunter S. Thompson

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, That's as good as they're going to feel all day.
~Frank Sinatra

Here's to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!
~Author Unknown

Once during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
~W.C. Fields

Well ya see, Norm, it's like this.... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

~Cliff Clavin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

~ Dave Barry

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

~Henny Youngman

Our Lager which art in barrels
Swallowed be thy drink
At home, as it is in the tavern
Forgive our spillages
As we forgive those who spill against us
Lead us not into incarceration
But deliver us from hangover
For thine is the beer, the bitter and the barley.
Barmen
~The Beer's Prayer

Alcohol May Be Man's Worst Enemy

But The Bible Says Love Your Enemy

~ Frank Sinatra

That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink…If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen. - Charles Bukowski

The liver is evil and must be punished. - Author Unknown

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. -Homer Simpson

Write drunk; edit sober. - Ernest Hemingway

I take every day one beer at a time, one beer every sip at a time. - Dennis Leary

Alcohol doesn't solve your problems...but then,neither does milk. - W.C. Fields

‎"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." ~ Dave Barry