I'm sure you've heard of the "smart phone", "smart car", "smart home", "smart pages", etc? Well, I just got home after test driving the latest in "smart" vehicles, the all new 2012 "Smart F-150" by Ford Motor Company. I've owned only one Ford in my lifetime and it was a lifted '87 Ranger ,2WD 4-banger that I bought when I was 18. It was the first vehicle I bought by myself without Dad along to prevent the sour taste of lemon, and it was the first truck I ever owned. I drove the piss out of that truck, and bombed it all over the desert like it was 4WD and I was in the Baja 500. I beat the shit out of it and it kept getting me where I wanted to go until one day when I was about 22 or 23 yrs. old on the 905 westbound in a hurry to get to Imperial Beach to buy a sack of dope before by buddy bailed for work. In my haste to get there, I passed a station wagon full of wetbacks who were doing about 50mph in the #1 lane. There was no room to pass them on the right, so I flew by them on the dirt shoulder doing about 80mph. When I went to move back over into the #1 lane, the rear of the truck came out from under me. I didn't see it comin', but as soon as those rear tires slid onto the pavement they grabbed, and I was in a Dukes of Hazard barrel roll. I don't remember anything after feeling the truck starting to go over, but the witnesses on the accident report said I rolled at least four times and then skid to a halt on the roof of the cab. I never knew I even rolled it until I read the accident report. All I remember is the truck starting to go over and then the sound of the cab sliding across the asphalt. That's it.
Here's what was left of the cab when I went to retrieve my tools, cassettes, and other shit that I didn't realize the towing yard wetbacks already retrieved for themselves. Putos!
My only injury in the accident was a split open knuckle down to the tendon on my left hand, which I can only guess was from my hand maybe breaking the driver's side glass at some point. That was it for me. But, I did lose a good friend that day because of my wreckless driving. He would ride shotgun with me everywhere I went. Everywhere! That good friend was "Graffix".** I didn't need a fancy name for him. I called him Graffix. The Graffix logo was the shit back then. Only the folks in the know, knew what it represented, and I was proud to bust him out at parties and "wow" the rookies with the cheezy Vans logos on their lame water-assisted party tool. He wasn't buckled up so he launched out the window during the roll and he was confiscated (stolen) by CHP, along with a 1/2 oz of bud and some bitchen binoculars my grandmother had given me for Christmas a few years before, God rest her soul. Fuckin' CHP thieves! Bastards!
Anyways, my only injury in the rollover was to my left hand, and it was a minor injury considering what could've easily been my grand exit from the stage of life. Ever since that day, I have had nothing bad to say about Ford trucks except for the body design of the late '90's models. Other than that, my experience driving, flipping and surviving a high speed rollover in one will always keep my door open to consideration of a Ford when shopping for a truck.
The fact that Ford basically told Cooncracker to shove his "bailout" up his ass, puts them in the #2 spot, just behind Toyota and in front of the rest as far as a primary vehicle goes. I don't care what anyone says, Toyota trucks are the best trucks I have ever owned. Hands down. No question. Nothing anyone says can change my mind either. I'm speaking from my experience with Toyota and that can't be changed, so to the Toyota bashers out there...Fuck off!
But I had to get one of these new Smart F-150's. I've been reading a lot of raves about the advances in technology, and superior "smarts" that this truck has included in it's base stock model, and it was too good to pass up. This afternoon, I bit the bullet and spent money I don't have, and drove this Smart Badass truck right off the lot and couldn't be happier. It's like this truck knows me better than anyone.
The advances in technology these days are increasing exponentially by the minute. It's almost scary what computers can do these days. It completely blows my mind how far it's come in the last decade. Like tonight, for instance.... How in the FUCK did this truck know that I had Taco Bell and wayyyyyyyyy too much tequila last night???? Isn't that crazy how it just knew??? I think I'm going to have to take advantage of this advanced technology and leave that feature "ON" for the next few days. Whew!
** After reflecting back on those days nearly two decades ago and how quality built and just plain badass Graffix products were, it made me want to get one for old times sake and keep it around to surprise someone that was "in the know" about Graffix.
I did a google search and spent 30 minutes in a fucking maze of different websites advertising they sold Graffix but it was just a ploy to get me to their low budget bullshit website and browse their low quality and lame merchandise. If anyone has a Graffix they want to sell, or know where I can get an old school Graffix water-assisted party tool, let me know would ya? I would probably even settle for a sticker just to put somewhere in the open and see who comments on it. Those were some fine times let me tell you...
Like my dad used to say about everything from cars, to toys, to power tools and just about everything else, "They sure don't make 'em like they used to anymore." The only problem I'm having right now is that they don't make them at all anymore. I guess I wasn't the only huge fan of those quality built Graffix products. Built Graffix Tough!