Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Green Shoots

Fucking finally! You know that feeling of satisfaction you get when your hard work starts showing signs of fruition?

Monday, January 30, 2012

A Picture Says A Thousand Words

For those not in the know. That is Valerie Jarret,one of Obama's longest serving advisors and a Van Jones (communist) lover, Newt "the conservative" , Al Sharpton (dirtbag) of resist we much fame and the cooncracker (marxist). I do not know the context of the conversation in this picture but there are three people in that room that I would not carry one on with.

Thanks to, root (whoever you are) for the picture.

And not to be biased.

That would be Jeb Bush, H.W. Bush and the Cooncracker. This last Friday.

Nah, we aren't fucked at all...

Rip It Off

Well, Herman Cain endorsed Newt. I guess it is time for my Cain vs Unable bumper sticker to go on the beer fridge along with all the other old political stickers.

FOD: Off

I spent the entire day yesterday at the Little League fields watering the recently sown ryegrass, fixing scoreboards and p.a systems and running the pitching machine for The Girl to get some batting practice in. Since I am all caught up at work, I am taking the day off. Man, I love being self-employed. The hours and taxes suck, but the benefits are sweet sometimes.

So, I am going to BBQ some South Texas Rib Eyes get a few things done around the house and relax with a few Shiner Bocks this afternoon.

Plus go water the fucking fields again.

So, on my Sunday on a Monday I offer Obama a whole hearted "Fuck You!". Marxist asshole.

UPDATE: Well scratch the BBQ it is supposed to rain. But I will take the rain. That means I can sit on my ass and not have to worry about watering today. I guess it will be Teriyaki Pork Stir Fry.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

2012 Wish List

There is a lot more that I would add to this list, but it's good for starters...

Go To Church

My wife says we need to go to church more.

I just did.

Saturday, January 28, 2012


Well, it looks like it's gonna be another brutal winter. Better stock up on beer...

Friday, January 27, 2012


It's Friday and I'm outta here! If I don't get kicked out for sparking up inside the restaurant this time, the bar @ Donato's is where you can find me until after they close. I'll be the guy not wearing some form of NASCAR paraphernalia. Have a great weekend, bitches!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Down The Rabbit Hole We Go

"What no one seemed to notice was the ever widening gap between the government and the people. And it became always wider...the whole process of its coming into being, was above all diverting, it provided an excuse not to think...for people who did not want to think anyway gave us some dreadful, fundamental things to think about...and kept us so busy with continuous changes and 'crises' and so fascinated...by the machinations of the 'national enemies,' without and within, that we had no time to think about these dreadful things that were growing, little by little, all around us...
"Each step was so small, so inconsequential, so well explained or, on occasion, 'regretted,' that unless one understood what the whole thing was in principle, what all these 'little measures'...must some day lead to, one no more saw it developing from day to day than a farmer in his field sees the corn growing...Each act is worse than the last, but only a little worse. You wait for the next and the next.
"You wait for one great shocking occasion, thinking that others, when such a shock comes, will join you in resisting somehow. You don't want to act, or even talk, alone...you don't want to 'go out of your way to make trouble.' But the one great shocking occasion, when tens or hundreds or thousands will join with you, never comes.
"That's the difficulty. The forms are all there, all untouched, all reassuring, the houses, the shops, the jobs, the mealtimes, the visits, the concerts, the cinema, the holidays. But the spirit, which you never noticed because you made the lifelong mistake of identifying it with the forms, is changed. Now you live in a world of hate and fear, and the people who hate and fear do not even know it themselves, when everyone is transformed, no one is transformed.
"You have accepted things you would not have accepted five years ago, a year ago, things your father...could never have imagined."
Milton Mayer, They Thought They Were Free, The Germans, 1938-45 (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1955) 

No One Likes A Quitter...

My buddy sent me this article from Sunday about some local drunkard that has managed to rack up 3 DUI's in under a week. Holy shit! This guy is royally fucked!!! I know first hand what it's like to have one DUI and that was shitty! It also was almost 10 years ago and I'm sure less harsh than it is now or will be next year. For his sake, I hope this guy brings plenty of lube with him to sentencing cause he's gonna get ass-fucked like never before. Courtesy of the State of Commiefornia and the MADD lobbyists across this nation. Maybe David Lakarnafeaux should study up a little about it from this version of DAMM before he makes his court appearance. They're goal is to protect Constitutional rights, unlike the idiotic and childish other DAMM that only tries to instigate and provoke grieving mothers and widows that have been brainwashed by the DUI industry after losing a child or husband from a DUI.

July 27th of this year will be the 10 year anniversary of the worst night in the history of my driving and/or law breaking career. What a shitty night. The night in jail was no big deal compared to what followed me after that. Don't get me wrong, it fucking sucked being in jail like some kind of violent criminal. Jail was freezing cold, standing room only and if you were lucky enough to have to take a shit, there was one nasty toilet (with no paper) literally in the middle of the cell. No walls, particians, pieces of cardboard or anything but a toilet and you were literally surrounded by a bunch of heroin junkies, bums and wetbacks. Lucky for me I didn't even have to take a leak in the 7 hours I spent in there.

But jail was the easiest part of the whole experience. What comes after jail, what you learn for the first time from the judge in the courtroom, is where I was completely floored. I knew the fine was huge and thought I'd be picking up litter on the sides of the highway like you see every fucking day, but there were a lot I didn't have a fucking clue was coming my way. If having a suspended license for a month and having to ride a bicycle to work at 30 years old wasn't bad enough, they made sure I would feel the wrath of those MADD lobbyists with a 3 month restricted license (to and from work and DUI classes only), then 3 months of DUI Class followed by 6 months of DUI Group and AA Meetings at 2 per week for 6 months. DUI Group was a room full of people with one thing in common and nothing else. It was nothing but arguments or crying or some kind of douchebag soap opera on Lifetime Channel or something. It was horribly mind numbing! I just wanted to punch people in there. 2 1/2 hours with these dumb fucks every Tuesday for 6 months. The only reason I avoided going to jail for assaulting one of those assholes was because I was higher than this every Tuesday from 5:30-8:00 for 6 months.

Because the blood in my alcohol system was 0.25, the judge scolded me for being a wasteoid drunk that obviously has "no regard for the rule of law" because I tripled the legal limit. I heard some guy behind me mutter, "holy shit!" right when I was thinking the same thing. LMAO! That was the first time I had learned what my BAC was. Some people in the courtroom laughed when he was reprimanding me and that didn't make him happy either. And because I was over 0.20 he couldn't be more happy to bump my sentence up to double the classes, double the groups, and double the meetings. And you might think those classes and groups are included in the fine ($8.5k at the time), but you would be wrong. I don't remember how much I had to shell out for the classes and groups but it was close to $4k for both. I can't imagine what the fine is up to now, and how much extra shit has been tacked onto the sentence for driving drunk, but there's one thing I know for sure, Mr. Lakarnafeaux just royally feauxed himself with this hat trick! You have to give it to the guy though, he sure is a persistent motherfucker isn't he?

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “Press On” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
- Calvin Coolidge

Maybe Dave Lakarnafeaux can throw down the Calvin Coolidge Card and use that for his defense. BWAHAHAHAHA! I have a feeling though, he is guaranteed an ass-feauxing of a lifetime. Good luck you unlucky drunk bastard. Don't forget the lube!

Do Not Fuck With The Cops

Dumbass brought a club to a gun fight. I bet you wish you didn't try to bum rush that cop now don't ya'.

The goodness starts at 00:30 and last until 00:56. The rest is just incoherent inner city babel.

You Scared Me

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Class Warfare

So, the FWOTUS had Warren Buffet's secretary in her box tonight (get your head out of the gutter) for the SOTU telepromter reading two minutes of hate. I am sure the Cooncracker said something about her being unfairly taxed more than her boss (I'm taking a shot in the dark, because I didn't watch, but I know what the asshole is going to say before it comes out of his mouth). This is a bullshit argument. Which I will let people smarter and funnier than me explain.

If the CooncrackerMarxist wants Warren Buffet's secretary to pay the same tax rate as Warren, lower her fucking tax rate, don't raise his. And QUIT SPENDING SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY. I swear somedays my skull is barely strong enough to keep my head from exploding.

On The Road Again

I talked to Paul last night and they were still stuck in Washington! I figured they would have been close to The Mother Land (Texas) by now. Nope, him and the boy are taking off today. He wants to be in Mitt Romney country by tomorrow (if I remember correctly). Safe travels brother. Enjoy the father son time. He will remember this the rest of his life.

Monday, January 23, 2012

America's Finest NWhiggers XVI

Thanks for breeding a nation of inconsiderate, little thug fucks rap artists. Thanks a million.

Beware Of The Faarooq'in Backblast, Faakhir!

For those of you that don't know what an RPG is "google" it. Those of you that are familiar with them also probably know that when the warhead is launched from the tube, there is a vicious backblast that exhausts from the rear of the tube. The "danger zone" of a backblast can reach as far back as 15-20 meters. That is a zone you want to be nowhere near when it's time for business. That being said, keep your eye on the stinkbeard with the RPG and then the dune coon directly behind the tube when the grenade is launched. Point blank backblast baby! It happens fast, under the 00:03 mark on the clip, so you have to pay attention. I had to watch it a couple of times to before I saw it, and then about 10 more times because it was so great. I have to wonder though, do even the dumbass jihadis get virgins when they go to hell?

BWAAHAHAHAA! Dingleberry Dune Coon wasn't even 12 inches from the tube when the fucker launched. That's one badass backblast, eh Muaadtheer Faakhir? ROTFLMFAO!


Just a couple of thoughts for the day.

Take a piss on a cross, you're an artist and the rat fuck communists stand behind your right to do so.  Shit on a police car, and you are named Person of the Year and the rat fuck communists stand behind your right to do so

However, if  you piss on a 7th century terrorist who just tried to kill you and your buddies. You are the worst person ever and   the rat fuck communists will shriek like howler monkeys that you must be prosecuted for war crimes.

Did you know that since the Cooncracker classified the Fort Hood shootings "workplace violence", not a terrorist attack, none of the soldiers that were killed or wounded are eligible for a purple heart? Ain't that some bullshit?

Go sign the petition and tell the Commie in Chief to remedy this bullshit. Fucking asshole. Fuck you.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

The 1970's

This is when I grew up and I was doing exactly what this little kid is doing. No helmet, no pads, just balls of steel. If I got hurt doing something, I either learned my limitations or I kept getting hurt until I learned them. One thing's for sure, my folks never would've even thought of suing the Big Wheel manufacturers, or the stores that sold them without a "warning" label on ever side of the fucking box (in 5 different languages). The kids that are growing up today are growing up to be a bunch of little pussies, which means they will grow up to be a bunch of little liberal pussies. How sad! You liberals stifle liberty at every fucking level. Fuck you all!

Friday, January 20, 2012

Told Ya...

...there would be more. The Shiner is flowing.

Friday Nada

Things are finally starting to fall into place for me right now and I've got nothing to stress about for the next couple weeks, so I'll leave you for the weekend with one of my all time favorite songs that helps me put my life into perspective when it needs it. This is one of those times when I need to worry about absolutely fucking nada, so tonight I'll tip the bottle and bite the lime.

Have a great weekend.

Friday Jams

I am sure there will be more later after a few Shiner Bocks. Happy Friday fuckers!

Breaking News

United States Marines rescue Taliban sex slaves.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Twelvers

Want to know more about Ahminadinnerjacket? Go here and read this.

CA Money Tree Harvests $213,191,205.86 For DOT

What is $213,191,205.86 you may ask? That's how many Mexican't pesos the Commiefornia Dept. of Transportation had laying around to be spent on whatever the fuck pointless, useless and moronic programs and projects that came flying out their ass in this time of record debt, a failing U.S. dollar, and sky high unemployment. For those of you that don't habla Wetbackanish money conversion, that is $1.6 million US dollars that the DOT is blowing on their "Federal Transportation Enhancement" project in Chicano Park right here in Slime Diego, Mexifornia. If you don't suffer from high blood pressure or don't have anything nearby that you might regret destroying at some point, you can read about it here. It's a short article with lots of pretty pictures of wetback graffiti, a dumbass local news reporter, and a complete waste of $1.6 million among other things. If you would like a perfect example of why I haven't watched local news in over a decade, check out the video. In another attempt to avoid a visit from the SS I'm going to have to stop writing now.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Seattle weather update for whoever gives a fuck

Would somebody please tell me what the difference is between "Showers" and "Rain" WTF!!

Texas Weather Report For Paul

Stuck in Seattle

This fuckin' place just won't let us go!! We'll try tomorrow. Beer me!!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The .950 JDJ

After seeing this I am adding another line to my bucket list. 277 foot pounds of recoil? Holy shit!

It wouldn't surprise me if Bear has already had some trigger time behind one of these.

Monday, January 16, 2012

It's showtime!

Well, that's a wrap. I've got a Penske truck in my driveway with car transport in tow. The movers are showing up in the morning to move the heavy stuff. My daughter is flying to Dallas tomorrow afternoon. My son and I will pack up the rest of the house and load the remaining boxes into the truck by tomorrow night. It's been snowing since yesterday and we may get more tonight and tomorrow. So my son and I may wait until Thursday to depart. We're leaving a shit load of stuff behind. To take the hot tub or not to take the hot tub? That is the question. It's only a three-person unit, but it works fucking great! Fuck it. I might as well just bring it. I'll probably have some service show up and haul off whatever we leave in the house.

My Internet service will be cut off tomorrow. I'm packing up the computer tonight. I'll be back online sometime next week. I am devoid of all emotion, and this is by design. I've had to deal with emotional kids all weekend, but I think they're going to be alright. I got so fucked up with my friends over the weekend that I think they forgot I'm leaving. And that's the way I like it. We're slipping away quietly. It's easier this way.

This has been a great ride. I have lived in western Washington for most of my adult life. I got married and divorced here. I've had two children here. I completed my Masters degree here, and I worked for three different companies. I purchased two homes and lived in two apartments. I have boated on just about every major lake in the state. I sailed the San Juans. I've been kicked out of bars. I beat up a Chicago White Sox fan at a Mariners game. I've woken up in strange places. I got a blowjob in the Space Needle. I mistakenly fucked a married chick and was shot at by her husband. I pissed on Lenin's statue in Fremont. I've been chased by the cops. The Gorge is the best outdoor amphitheatre I've ever been to. Harbor Lights in Tacoma makes the best long island iced teas in the Pacific Northwest. Yes, Mt. Rainier is all that! Vancouver Island and the City of Victoria are gorgeous! Vancouver, British Columbia has the best strip clubs. Indians are inbred. Microsoft employees are a bunch of pussies. Crystal Mountain is a great place to ski. Whistler/Blackcomb in British Columbia is even better. There are too many Mexicans in Yakima. There are too many hippies in Nelson, BC. Spokane is the butthole of the Inland Empire. Walla Walla ain't shit and all hype. I fucking love Idaho! The Blue Angels put on their best show in Seattle. Silver Platters in Seattle and Bellevue are the best record stores in the entire universe. Upper Queen Anne is my favorite Seattle neighborhood. Oregon is weird I don't care what anyone says. Lake Chelan and Lake Cushman are the most gorgeous lakes in Washington. Leavenworth is a cool town. So is Anacortes. So is Gig Harbor. Olympia is not. Frank Zappa was right: there is a Tacoma aroma. None of the hot women in Washington are even from Washington. No one here knows how to cook a decent steak. But you won't find better seafood anywhere else. Go Seahawks!! Go Huskies!! Fuck WSU!! Lake Union puts on the best fireworks show in the region. Fly fishing on the Snoqualmie or Yakima Rivers is a great time. Ellensburg puts on the best rodeo. It's fucking cold here. The winters are too wet and dreary. Washington beaches aren't the best but lots of fun. Camping in the Cascades has been a great annual family tradition. And one more thing...

"The bluest skies you've ever seen are in Seattle
And the hills the greenest green, in Seattle
Like a beautiful child, growing up, free an' wild
Full of hopes an' full of fears, full of laughter, full of tears
Full of dreams to last the years, in Seattle
. . . in Seattle!" ~ Perry Como

So long, Washington. We love you!


This cruise liner ship wreck thing has got me seeing red. I have heard it compared to the Titanic. The Titanic? What the fuck?

See that black spot in the background? That is fucking LAND! You are a couple hundred yards (at best) from LAND! Is our society a bunch of pussies or what?

It reminds me of this.

Oh, I almost forgot. Fuck you Obama, you marxist assclown.

FOD - Potty Training

Well it's Monday again and you know what that means; another shitty start to the week with the shittiest piece of shit to have ever been shat at the POTUS controls. I wonder how many times the piece of shit is going to go around apologizing to the world for the fucking outstanding "horrific" incident carried out by US Marines upon the lowest form of subhuman life known to man the Taliban.

Well, I for one would like to personally thank those Marines and shake their hands for doing something that a lot of us would jump at the chance to do to those fucking 7th century stinkbeard vermin, but never have the opportunity. Thank you U.S. Marines for killing the shit out of the subhuman enemies of the United States and ultimately pissing on their dead bodies. Thank you!

I haven't seen or heard much about this the last couple days though. Just imagine if Dubya was at the helm right now. It would still be front page, top story, and "breaking" news. You wouldn't be able to escape it. Every playoff game this last weekend would've had a segment with some asshole in an empty suit bringing it up every possible chance he could. Fuck them too!

Thank you Aunti Vicki for the image:

Happy Fuck Obama Day! Fuck Obama!

Sunday, January 15, 2012


Uh........ I used to think I was ready.

Look Ma, No Hands....

I saw this and it reminded me of an old friend of mine back in my early 20's when I was smoking dope, ditching class and chasing pussy studying my ass off going to college. That was a time long, long ago when everyone was doing beer bongs. It was a quick way to get shitfaced and the chicks (we thought) were impressed, so of course we were doing them. Brian could funnel countless beers in a sitting like it was nothing and would always be there to accept someone’s challenge. He used to make a lot of money betting people at parties or bigger guys at bars by challenging them to funnel-off's for $20 or whatever. Most of the time he would do four 3-beer funnels, or three 4-beer funnels, but one time I watched him do two 6-pack funnels at a party back-to-back in under two minutes. To say the least I was fucking impressed after witnessing that, but what was more impressive was him being able to hold it together and hold it all down while sipping on cups of beer throughout the rest of the night. Granted he was a big guy, but still….twelve 12-ounce beers in under two fucking minutes would put me in the ER even back then. Now? Shit, it would probably only take six 1-beer bongs in two hours to put me down for the count. Probably even less than that.

This dude looks like he could be the late Chris Farley's (R.I.P.) brother or cousin but he totally reminded me of Brian. This dude doesn't even let go of a ear-piercing belch like I would expect to hear after three straight beers from a bottle. The English dudes at the table laughing also reminded me of what it sounded like whenever there was a funnel-off or when someone new saw Brian in action for the first time.

And before you (Paul or kerrcarto) go off and say it's no big deal because the dude's just drinking "pussy beer" or whatever Paul called it last night when I talked to him, I'd like to see one of you clowns do this with three Bud's OR with your regular beer of choice; kerrcarto with your Shiner and Paul with your Zima. If one or both of you two drunks can do this, I will fetch you a beer every time you need one for one full day* at the next Blownstar. But I want to see exactly the same thing, the same way; bottle cap removal and everything. I'm not gonna make this an easy one for you like I did the last time.
*Or until I pass out

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Friday, January 13, 2012

Just An Incentive

You two fucks realize we are going to have to change the header? As soon as CD gets his ass to Texas that is.

Col. Allen West Responds

“I have sat back and assessed the incident with the video of our Marines urinating on Taliban corpses. I do not recall any self-righteous indignation when our Delta snipers Shugart and Gordon had their bodies dragged through Mogadishu. Neither do I recall media outrage and condemnation of our Blackwater security contractors being killed, their bodies burned, and hung from a bridge in Fallujah.
“All these over-emotional pundits and armchair quarterbacks need to chill. Does anyone remember the two Soldiers from the 101st Airborne Division who were beheaded and gutted in Iraq?
“The Marines were wrong. Give them a maximum punishment under field grade level Article 15 (non-judicial punishment), place a General Officer level letter of reprimand in their personnel file, and have them in full dress uniform stand before their Battalion, each personally apologize to God, Country, and Corps videotaped and conclude by singing the full US Marine Corps Hymn without a teleprompter.
“As for everyone else, unless you have been shot at by the Taliban, shut your mouth, war is hell.”
Amen and Amen.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

FUCK ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ ISLAM!!

Muslims are camel raping shit eaters! Mohamed was a pedophile murderer! And Allah fucks pigs!

What's The Big Deal?

This video is getting all kinds of shit from the LSM and our clueless dipshits in the United States Government condemning the marines for their actions.

I say, who gives a shit? They were just properly washing the bodies for a Mooslime burial.
Unlike the Taliban did for Daniel Pearl. And until they quit teaching kids how to behead a person (don't click this link unless you have a strong stomach) we should piss on all the fuckers.
In my world these marines would get a medal of honor.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Mystery Solved!

I was always wondering about this...

More Powerful Than Beer Goggles

Great news! We are coming out of the recession. The job market is humming. Obama's strategy is working. Just put these on to see for yourself!

Mention GGDF and get $999.99 off your order.