Monday, January 16, 2012

It's showtime!

Well, that's a wrap. I've got a Penske truck in my driveway with car transport in tow. The movers are showing up in the morning to move the heavy stuff. My daughter is flying to Dallas tomorrow afternoon. My son and I will pack up the rest of the house and load the remaining boxes into the truck by tomorrow night. It's been snowing since yesterday and we may get more tonight and tomorrow. So my son and I may wait until Thursday to depart. We're leaving a shit load of stuff behind. To take the hot tub or not to take the hot tub? That is the question. It's only a three-person unit, but it works fucking great! Fuck it. I might as well just bring it. I'll probably have some service show up and haul off whatever we leave in the house.

My Internet service will be cut off tomorrow. I'm packing up the computer tonight. I'll be back online sometime next week. I am devoid of all emotion, and this is by design. I've had to deal with emotional kids all weekend, but I think they're going to be alright. I got so fucked up with my friends over the weekend that I think they forgot I'm leaving. And that's the way I like it. We're slipping away quietly. It's easier this way.

This has been a great ride. I have lived in western Washington for most of my adult life. I got married and divorced here. I've had two children here. I completed my Masters degree here, and I worked for three different companies. I purchased two homes and lived in two apartments. I have boated on just about every major lake in the state. I sailed the San Juans. I've been kicked out of bars. I beat up a Chicago White Sox fan at a Mariners game. I've woken up in strange places. I got a blowjob in the Space Needle. I mistakenly fucked a married chick and was shot at by her husband. I pissed on Lenin's statue in Fremont. I've been chased by the cops. The Gorge is the best outdoor amphitheatre I've ever been to. Harbor Lights in Tacoma makes the best long island iced teas in the Pacific Northwest. Yes, Mt. Rainier is all that! Vancouver Island and the City of Victoria are gorgeous! Vancouver, British Columbia has the best strip clubs. Indians are inbred. Microsoft employees are a bunch of pussies. Crystal Mountain is a great place to ski. Whistler/Blackcomb in British Columbia is even better. There are too many Mexicans in Yakima. There are too many hippies in Nelson, BC. Spokane is the butthole of the Inland Empire. Walla Walla ain't shit and all hype. I fucking love Idaho! The Blue Angels put on their best show in Seattle. Silver Platters in Seattle and Bellevue are the best record stores in the entire universe. Upper Queen Anne is my favorite Seattle neighborhood. Oregon is weird I don't care what anyone says. Lake Chelan and Lake Cushman are the most gorgeous lakes in Washington. Leavenworth is a cool town. So is Anacortes. So is Gig Harbor. Olympia is not. Frank Zappa was right: there is a Tacoma aroma. None of the hot women in Washington are even from Washington. No one here knows how to cook a decent steak. But you won't find better seafood anywhere else. Go Seahawks!! Go Huskies!! Fuck WSU!! Lake Union puts on the best fireworks show in the region. Fly fishing on the Snoqualmie or Yakima Rivers is a great time. Ellensburg puts on the best rodeo. It's fucking cold here. The winters are too wet and dreary. Washington beaches aren't the best but lots of fun. Camping in the Cascades has been a great annual family tradition. And one more thing...

"The bluest skies you've ever seen are in Seattle
And the hills the greenest green, in Seattle
Like a beautiful child, growing up, free an' wild
Full of hopes an' full of fears, full of laughter, full of tears
Full of dreams to last the years, in Seattle
. . . in Seattle!" ~ Perry Como

So long, Washington. We love you!


CharlieDelta said...

LMAO! Blow job in the Space Needle. Awesome!

Right on brother Paul! Have a killer drive across the country with your boy. Take a shitload of pictures. I suspect it will be a beautiful drive, but I don't know shit. Take lots of pictures anyways.

I'm still looking for that Fender information for you. It will be in your inbox when you check email next time. See you soon. Drive safe brother.

kerrcarto said...

Drive safe and good luck. See ya in TEXAS!!

Anonymous said...

Seattle is my favorite city to visit but 2-3 days is my limit. Tried to settle in Bellingham years ago, no way Jose.

Almost moved to Texas last year but just couldn't pry myself out of CO. So I moved to Canon City but I'm still looking south.

Good luck man

Greg said...

Best of luck to you...but I got to point out, I once bought nachos for a Mariners fan's kids at a White Sox game (his wallet got lifted..welcome to the South Side). Now I'm wondering if I did the right thing?

Bear said...

Safe travels through the sharty weather, and enjoy the time with your boy.

CenTexTim said...


A Political Junkie said...

Nelson and hippies - right on. Been there, seen that, left.

Have a safe trip.

PeggyU said...

You peed on the Lenin statue? God Bless You!!! :D