Monday, June 18, 2012

Bring It On, General Taco...

When I was a kid growing up, every so often on a weekend night my dad used to let my friends and I camp in the backyard with a pit fire, tents, flashlights, smores, the whole nine yards.  It was just like we were in the mountains or desert for a weekend camping with the folks, but it was just us kids and occasionally pops coming out to make sure we weren't burning the whole neighborhood down. What a blast when you're around eight years old. I think every time we were backyard-campin' my dad or one of his drinkin' buddies would tell us a scary ghost or monster story to keep us up half the night scared to death. Thinking back on it, I don't remember one detail about any of those scary stories. Not one. But I do remember that every one of them was told with a scary voice. It didn't take much to scare us back then, but I can guarantee the story was drunkenly made up on the spot and most likely didn't make any sense at all; it didn't have to. It was the scary voice that sold the story.

Well that's exactly what I thought of when I listened to this ebonics-riddled "story" from NBDP Radio regarding the future of the United States and of the world as told by some over-dramatic, uneducated and ignorant jackass who calls himself General Tako (taco). Apparently this circus clown "general" is a general in the New Black Douchebag Party which is pretty funny in itself. What's even funnier is trying to picture this insignificant hack being able to lead "his men" into war against a wet paper sack, much less a war with whitey. ROTF! As soon as I can stop trembling with fear I'll get our surrender agreement right over to you, General. BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Much like those old scary campfire stories, this guy sounds like he's drunk and babbling incoherently, except his made-up story is about "white demons" and conspiracies against the blacks and other paranoid delusional bullshit. The big difference is that no matter how hard he tries, no matter how loud or scary he tries to sound, I am not afraid.  Hell, I'm not even concerned a little. I worry more about having a wet fart after a heavy night of drinking than I do General Taco. This shit is pure comedy gold right here. 

Behold the intellect and wisdumb of NBDP's General Taco:

Next week though, you might want to pay close attention to NBDP Radio because the guest lineup scheduled to appear with General Taco is stellar and guaranteed to drive home to us white demons all over the world that the New Black Douchebag Party is a force to be reckoned with. This is the information I obtained from the NBDP's website and is for the week of June 18, 2012:

Monday -        Corporal Collard Greens will discuss NBDP's latest strategy for scarin' whitey into stayin home in November.
Tuesday -       Sergeant-Major Menthol will explain NBDP's credo: "It's whitey's fault. Give me free shit!"
Wednesday -  Captain Cornbread will demonstrate NBDP's most feared weapon: The Scary Voice
Thursday -     Major McNuggets** will be giving free pointers on when to play The Race Card.
Friday -          Lt. Colonel Chitlans will discuss effective Tactical Bling for the FNG up to the HNIC.
**Subject to change. If in the event Major McNuggets violates his probation and returns to serve his remaining prison time, or gets stuck in the food stamp line and cannot appear on NBDP Radio, Major Malt Liquor (Ret.) will be demonstrating effective scary cartoon voices for achieving maximum fear in whitey before election day in November.  

Don't miss it!


Goldenrod said...

And on the weekend we can be dressed down by colonel of the urinal who refuses to take any shit.

kerrcarto said...

Fuck the black panthers, the nation of islam and their buddies Barack Obama and Eric Holder.

Fuck them all to hell and back.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately for General Taco, he bleeds just like anyone else. His threats will come back to haunt him. He'll end up being the one to pay the price. And I won't feel sorry for him one bit.