Friday, July 6, 2012

Alive? 4 day hangover? You betcha!

I didn't feel anything resembling human until about Thursday afternoon. Holy shit!! I'm thinking this was probably my last Blownstar because I get entirely way too fucked up at this party. Hell, Monday morning rolled around; I was up at 6 and out the door 45 minutes later and damn near crawled into work at about 7:45. My commute would be quicker but about 15 minutes of that is just getting through security. I'm surprised they didn't smell Blownstar oozing out my pours and kick my ass out. Must have chewed like two packs of gum that day. Around 2:00 o'clock we had a staff meeting. Simple shit except several people had to keep asking questions while I'm sitting there at the table about to pass the fuck out next to my boss and the director. Monica across the table from me started busting up laughing out of nowhere. After the meeting she IMs me and was like DUDE!! I'm like no shit, right? Make this day fucking end! Around 4:00 pm I'm ready to puke under the desk. Head in hands and just barely working through a case when my boss and the boss from the adjacent dept. we support walk over.

"Paul."

*cough* "um, yes."

....pause...like they're waiting for me to say something else...awkward moment...

"You're doing great, and we've decided to move you over to ___ in the morning. Report to ___ in the morning. Thanks for everything you do."

What da Fuck!! I'm sitting there speechless and my coworkers around me are laughing their asses off because they knew that I done got into something wild over the weekend. Of course, I didn't say shit. What happens at Blownstar stays at Blownstar...obviously since I don't remember half of it! I think the last thing I remember is someone firing a rifle and blowing up a can of something that scared the living bejeezus out of me while I was trying to light some fire in a firepit barefoot. Barefoot? IDIOT! Lights out... Apparently, some scorpion charged me and this blonde babe out of nowhere ran over and stomped the hell out of it LIKE A BOSS! Fuckin' Texas! Woke up the next day with pink toenails. Lost man points; points I'll never get back. Fuckin' fuckers!

Anyway, here comes Wednesday. Optional overtime because it was July 4th. Of course like the dumb shit I am I volunteered. Catch was the shift was 6 to 2 but they didn't announce that until after I volunteered. Had to wake up at 4 to get to work by 6! By the time I got home the party happenings were going on next door. "Paul! Get your ass over here!"

"Fuck you I'm out!"

Was out by 3 pm and woke up Thursday morning. Holy shit man!

Happy hour Thursday after work with my new coworkers and partied with some other friends at La Tuna in San Antonio earlier tonight. And tonight I met a gorgeous Mexican woman! Be still my heart. Stay tuned...

My kids need to hurry home from summer vacation because clearly I'm a fuckin' mess without them and I'm pretty sure my liver's gonna look like a raisin come August! Staying home this weekend to catch up on some house and yard shit. Then it's off to Dallas next weekend for family and then Houston the next for some awesome friends I haven't seen in many many years. No rest for the wicked...Summer 2012 EPIC! So great to be back home in Texas!!

9 comments:

Witchy Woman said...

sounds like a damn fine time. been wondering what you've been up to.

Paul said...

Witchy witchy! I'm alive sweetheart. I just don't talk as much these days because my life is jammed packed. Hope you and the family are well! Love you always!

Harper said...

"I'm thinking this was probably my last Blownstar because I get entirely way too fucked up at this party."

Dude! Don't blame the party.

You neglected to mention that you were also barefoot when you climbed into a truck and went out into the rock and cactus-strewn scrub to cut and gather the firewood - at 1 am.

And you left out the part where you acted like a bitchy little girl when we were trying to get you to stop drinking on Sunday morning so you could drive - but we love you even when you are a mean drunk.

Paul said...

Well hell Harper! Don't hate. Appreciate! :D

kerrcarto said...

You drunken fucker! We decend on Mo-Ranch next!!

Paul said...

Hellz yeah kerrcarto! I'll be in touch brotha.

Ed said...

No matter what, you still had more fun than CharlieDelta.

Harper said...

No hate, Paul, just trying to fill in the gaps for you. I'm glad you made it back to Texas and Blownstar this year.

CharlieDelta said...

'Atta boy Paul! That's the kinda shit I like to hear! Good times. You've earned it brother. Fuck it, you only live once and some people were made to tear it up and beat the living shit out of their liver, kidneys and cerebellum. You should feel lucky.

Others go through their uninteresting, dry, and downright boring lives never knowing what it's like to pickle the liver and marinate the cerebral cortex to the point of not being able to remember your own name when you are introducing yourself to an oak tree. They’ll never know what it’s like to wake up in the middle of the night after endless tequila shots to take a monster piss that looks like rusty coolant in what you thought was the toilet, but was actually the clothes hamper or the closet. They'll never know what it's like to get kicked out of the liquor store for "sampling" their many different beers before making a decision on what to buy, or what it’s like to try and seduce a bbq grill after a dozen airport Crown/Cokes, or to crawl into work with a jack hammer going off in your head, dehydrated as fuck and still sportin' a 0.12 BAC after a few straight days of non-stop raging for that matter.

They'll never admit it but the ones that have never buried the needle on the "PARTY"meter are bitter and boring people for the most part that live miserable boring lives. Hell, they’ll try to convince the living shit out of you how much fun they’re having, but you can just tell by their demeanor and by looking in their eyes that they’re full of shit; they’re just miserable and bitter souls existing in life rather than living it. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but not many.

Who wants to go through life eating nothing but vanilla ice cream? Fuck that. Not me. I want a Rocky Road- Jim Beam and Cola float, and an ounce of Neapolitan sativa!

Nobody likes a quitter...

On a side note, who is this goofy fucker Ed? Do I know you Captain Obvious? Your comment goes without saying, guy. Are you going to tell us next that water is wet, fire is hot, and Justin Beiber sucks?