gottagetdrunkfirst: FOD: Your Rear Main Seal Is Blown

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

FOD: Your Rear Main Seal Is Blown

“That’s the terminology. At Trinity, you’re urged to ‘get with the program,’” explained a male beneficiary of the Down Low Club. “What that means is it’s OK to go ahead and have sex with men, just as long as you ‘get with the program’ and marry a woman, somebody no straight guy would want to marry.”

Well that explains it all!

5 comments:

MissK said...: Okay... That is just disturbing :P

Very good point though LOL; October 9, 2012 at 1:27 PM
Greasywrench AKA rich b said...: KERRCARTO - As a young man I had a standing rule: I never dated a woman with bigger feet than me. If Moochelle had wheels on the corners of her size twelve shoes she could truck freight across the highways of America.

And that set of gopher cheeks on her reminds me of Marlon Brando as Don Corleone. She's either got a mouthfull of cotton balls or she's storing up double cheeseburgers for late-night snacks. Either way the woman blows goats. No wonder those two assholes ended up with each other. No one else would have em.; October 10, 2012 at 3:54 AM
CharlieDelta said...: Dude, how 'bout a warning next time? Like maybe put a jump break in the post or something?

I just threw up in my mouth...; October 10, 2012 at 12:18 PM
JeremyR said...: and marry a woman, somebody no straight guy would want to marry.”

I seriously doubt that. really. I doubt it, and I'll bet you a buck if you stripped Moochelle down, you'd find a bigger dick then Barry has.

So the question is, are you man enough for that task? Well, truth be told, I aint gonna look. No way in hell. happy F.O.D.; October 10, 2012 at 10:39 PM
Mark@Bismarck said...: I'm thinking she wants Opra's gig! Once Barry's unemployed she can bring home the bacon.; October 10, 2012 at 11:20 PM

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Pure Genius

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

~Sir Winston Churchill

To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

~Homer Simpson

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
~W.C. Fields

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
~Benjamin Franklin

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
~Hunter S. Thompson

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, That's as good as they're going to feel all day.
~Frank Sinatra

Here's to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!
~Author Unknown

Once during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
~W.C. Fields

Well ya see, Norm, it's like this.... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

~Cliff Clavin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

~ Dave Barry

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

~Henny Youngman

Our Lager which art in barrels
Swallowed be thy drink
At home, as it is in the tavern
Forgive our spillages
As we forgive those who spill against us
Lead us not into incarceration
But deliver us from hangover
For thine is the beer, the bitter and the barley.
Barmen
~The Beer's Prayer

Alcohol May Be Man's Worst Enemy

But The Bible Says Love Your Enemy

~ Frank Sinatra

That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink…If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen. - Charles Bukowski

The liver is evil and must be punished. - Author Unknown

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. -Homer Simpson

Write drunk; edit sober. - Ernest Hemingway

I take every day one beer at a time, one beer every sip at a time. - Dennis Leary

Alcohol doesn't solve your problems...but then,neither does milk. - W.C. Fields

‎"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." ~ Dave Barry

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

FOD: Your Rear Main Seal Is Blown

5 comments:

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