Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Thanks to, root (whoever you are) for the picture.
And not to be biased.
That would be Jeb Bush, H.W. Bush and the Cooncracker. This last Friday.
Nah, we aren't fucked at all...
So, I am going to BBQ some South Texas Rib Eyes get a few things done around the house and relax with a few Shiner Bocks this afternoon.
Plus go water the fucking fields again.
So, on my Sunday on a Monday I offer Obama a whole hearted "Fuck You!". Marxist asshole.
UPDATE: Well scratch the BBQ it is supposed to rain. But I will take the rain. That means I can sit on my ass and not have to worry about watering today. I guess it will be Teriyaki Pork Stir Fry.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
July 27th of this year will be the 10 year anniversary of the worst night in the history of my driving and/or law breaking career. What a shitty night. The night in jail was no big deal compared to what followed me after that. Don't get me wrong, it fucking sucked being in jail like some kind of violent criminal. Jail was freezing cold, standing room only and if you were lucky enough to have to take a shit, there was one nasty toilet (with no paper) literally in the middle of the cell. No walls, particians, pieces of cardboard or anything but a toilet and you were literally surrounded by a bunch of heroin junkies, bums and wetbacks. Lucky for me I didn't even have to take a leak in the 7 hours I spent in there.
But jail was the easiest part of the whole experience. What comes after jail, what you learn for the first time from the judge in the courtroom, is where I was completely floored. I knew the fine was huge and thought I'd be picking up litter on the sides of the highway like you see every fucking day, but there were a lot I didn't have a fucking clue was coming my way. If having a suspended license for a month and having to ride a bicycle to work at 30 years old wasn't bad enough, they made sure I would feel the wrath of those MADD lobbyists with a 3 month restricted license (to and from work and DUI classes only), then 3 months of DUI Class followed by 6 months of DUI Group and AA Meetings at 2 per week for 6 months. DUI Group was a room full of people with one thing in common and nothing else. It was nothing but arguments or crying or some kind of douchebag soap opera on Lifetime Channel or something. It was horribly mind numbing! I just wanted to punch people in there. 2 1/2 hours with these dumb fucks every Tuesday for 6 months. The only reason I avoided going to jail for assaulting one of those assholes was because I was higher than this every Tuesday from 5:30-8:00 for 6 months.
Because the blood in my alcohol system was 0.25, the judge scolded me for being a wasteoid drunk that obviously has "no regard for the rule of law" because I tripled the legal limit. I heard some guy behind me mutter, "holy shit!" right when I was thinking the same thing. LMAO! That was the first time I had learned what my BAC was. Some people in the courtroom laughed when he was reprimanding me and that didn't make him happy either. And because I was over 0.20 he couldn't be more happy to bump my sentence up to double the classes, double the groups, and double the meetings. And you might think those classes and groups are included in the fine ($8.5k at the time), but you would be wrong. I don't remember how much I had to shell out for the classes and groups but it was close to $4k for both. I can't imagine what the fine is up to now, and how much extra shit has been tacked onto the sentence for driving drunk, but there's one thing I know for sure, Mr. Lakarnafeaux just royally feauxed himself with this hat trick! You have to give it to the guy though, he sure is a persistent motherfucker isn't he?
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “Press On” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
- Calvin Coolidge
Maybe Dave Lakarnafeaux can throw down the Calvin Coolidge Card and use that for his defense. BWAHAHAHAHA! I have a feeling though, he is guaranteed an ass-feauxing of a lifetime. Good luck you unlucky drunk bastard. Don't forget the lube!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
If the CooncrackerMarxist wants Warren Buffet's secretary to pay the same tax rate as Warren, lower her fucking tax rate, don't raise his. And QUIT SPENDING SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY. I swear somedays my skull is barely strong enough to keep my head from exploding.
Monday, January 23, 2012
BWAAHAHAHAA! Dingleberry Dune Coon wasn't even 12 inches from the tube when the fucker launched. That's one badass backblast, eh Muaadtheer Faakhir? ROTFLMFAO!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
Have a great weekend.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
My Internet service will be cut off tomorrow. I'm packing up the computer tonight. I'll be back online sometime next week. I am devoid of all emotion, and this is by design. I've had to deal with emotional kids all weekend, but I think they're going to be alright. I got so fucked up with my friends over the weekend that I think they forgot I'm leaving. And that's the way I like it. We're slipping away quietly. It's easier this way.
This has been a great ride. I have lived in western Washington for most of my adult life. I got married and divorced here. I've had two children here. I completed my Masters degree here, and I worked for three different companies. I purchased two homes and lived in two apartments. I have boated on just about every major lake in the state. I sailed the San Juans. I've been kicked out of bars. I beat up a Chicago White Sox fan at a Mariners game. I've woken up in strange places. I got a blowjob in the Space Needle. I mistakenly fucked a married chick and was shot at by her husband. I pissed on Lenin's statue in Fremont. I've been chased by the cops. The Gorge is the best outdoor amphitheatre I've ever been to. Harbor Lights in Tacoma makes the best long island iced teas in the Pacific Northwest. Yes, Mt. Rainier is all that! Vancouver Island and the City of Victoria are gorgeous! Vancouver, British Columbia has the best strip clubs. Indians are inbred. Microsoft employees are a bunch of pussies. Crystal Mountain is a great place to ski. Whistler/Blackcomb in British Columbia is even better. There are too many Mexicans in Yakima. There are too many hippies in Nelson, BC. Spokane is the butthole of the Inland Empire. Walla Walla ain't shit and all hype. I fucking love Idaho! The Blue Angels put on their best show in Seattle. Silver Platters in Seattle and Bellevue are the best record stores in the entire universe. Upper Queen Anne is my favorite Seattle neighborhood. Oregon is weird I don't care what anyone says. Lake Chelan and Lake Cushman are the most gorgeous lakes in Washington. Leavenworth is a cool town. So is Anacortes. So is Gig Harbor. Olympia is not. Frank Zappa was right: there is a Tacoma aroma. None of the hot women in Washington are even from Washington. No one here knows how to cook a decent steak. But you won't find better seafood anywhere else. Go Seahawks!! Go Huskies!! Fuck WSU!! Lake Union puts on the best fireworks show in the region. Fly fishing on the Snoqualmie or Yakima Rivers is a great time. Ellensburg puts on the best rodeo. It's fucking cold here. The winters are too wet and dreary. Washington beaches aren't the best but lots of fun. Camping in the Cascades has been a great annual family tradition. And one more thing...
"The bluest skies you've ever seen are in Seattle And the hills the greenest green, in Seattle Like a beautiful child, growing up, free an' wild Full of hopes an' full of fears, full of laughter, full of tears Full of dreams to last the years, in Seattle . . . in Seattle!" ~ Perry Como
So long, Washington. We love you!
See that black spot in the background? That is fucking LAND! You are a couple hundred yards (at best) from LAND! Is our society a bunch of pussies or what?
It reminds me of this.
Oh, I almost forgot. Fuck you Obama, you marxist assclown.
Well it's Monday again and you know what that means; another shitty start to the week with the shittiest piece of shit to have ever been shat at the POTUS controls. I wonder how many times the piece of shit is going to go around apologizing to the world for the
fucking outstanding "horrific" incident carried out by US Marines upon the lowest form of subhuman life known to man the Taliban.
Well, I for one would like to personally thank those Marines and shake their hands for doing something that a lot of us would jump at the chance to do to those fucking 7th century stinkbeard vermin, but never have the opportunity. Thank you U.S. Marines for killing the shit out of the subhuman enemies of the United States and ultimately pissing on their dead bodies. Thank you!I haven't seen or heard much about this the last couple days though. Just imagine if Dubya was at the helm right now. It would still be front page, top story, and "breaking" news. You wouldn't be able to escape it. Every playoff game this last weekend would've had a segment with some asshole in an empty suit bringing it up every possible chance he could. Fuck them too!
Thank you Aunti Vicki for the image:
Happy Fuck Obama Day! Fuck Obama!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
This dude looks like he could be the late Chris Farley's (R.I.P.) brother or cousin but he totally reminded me of Brian. This dude doesn't even let go of a ear-piercing belch like I would expect to hear after three straight beers from a bottle. The English dudes at the table laughing also reminded me of what it sounded like whenever there was a funnel-off or when someone new saw Brian in action for the first time.
And before you (Paul or kerrcarto) go off and say it's no big deal because the dude's just drinking "pussy beer" or whatever Paul called it last night when I talked to him, I'd like to see one of you clowns do this with three Bud's OR with your regular beer of choice; kerrcarto with your Shiner and Paul with your Zima. If one or both of you two drunks can do this, I will fetch you a beer every time you need one for one full day* at the next Blownstar. But I want to see exactly the same thing, the same way; bottle cap removal and everything. I'm not gonna make this an easy one for you like I did the last time.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
I say, who gives a shit? They were just properly washing the bodies for a Mooslime burial.
Unlike the Taliban did for Daniel Pearl. And until they quit teaching kids how to behead a person (don't click this link unless you have a strong stomach) we should piss on all the fuckers.
In my world these marines would get a medal of honor.