What A Trip

As you all know my Uncle Ralph died New Years Day. This past weekend was his memorial service in Nacagdoches, Texas a mere 338 miles from my front door to the hotel. Packed up my shit and hit the road Friday about 1:00. I picked my cousin up just north of  Canyon Lake (CenTexTim country. Beautiful part of Texas!) and we headed for Nacagdoches. Now, let me preface the rest for just a minute. My cousin has not drank in over six months, not because he was a raging alcoholic, but he has been working two jobs. Managing a the make ready (get the trade-ins/news sales cleaned up) department at a Toyota dealership during the day and a night stocker at the H-E-B (a local grocery chain) so needless to say he hasn't had much time to drink, much less sleep. So, keep that in mind. Anyway, I don't like interstate driving (just ask CD how much I "love" going into San Antonio) so I took for the most part SH21 with a few FM roads in between.

We hit I-45 around 4:00 and I reached in the back and grabbed a beer from the cooler and offered him one, not knowing what that would simple gesture would lead to. Well, skip a few hours driving and a six pack between us gone and he starts loosening up, life, wife, kids, jobs (he had just quit the H-E-B gig), money, you know how it is. Skip another couple hours and we are pulling into the hotel with a twelve pack gone between us, my share being the original three. Typical shit after that, check in, get situated in the room, check to see if there are any porn channels, drink a beer or two and relax from the drive.

An hour later (around 9:00) my dad and sister came by and said they were headed out to my uncle's ranch to hang with the family for a while and asked if we wanted to tag along. Sure, why not? Right? So we head out to his place The Schwausch Family Tree Farm  for some family fellowship and drinks (fuck) at this point Tony's drunkeness is in full blown goofy drunk guy mode. We hang there until about 11 at which point we head back to the hotel and say good night to my sister and dad. Heading back to our room we run into my other cousin, his sister, her husband and kids. They haven't seen each other in about a year or so, so, you know what that means. More beer…and vodka, YAY Vodka just what my now overy drunken cousin needs! At this point I am getting a little concerned Tony is not known as a person who can hold his liqour very well and him not drinking for so long is starting to show. Well, skip to two in the fucking morning and they are babysitting a puking, extremely drunk brother while I am trying to catch some z's. It was not a pleasant scene. There was vomit and urine involved that is all I am going to say.

So, we get up in the morning, me with a foggy head and him with a full blown hangover. We shower eat the shitty free "hot" breakfast and head for the funeral home.

It was a nice service, a bit unconventional, but very touching. It was the first time I have ever heard the words "goddamn chainsaw!" and "this whole mess is a bunch of bullshit" used at a memorial service, but if you knew my uncle, it was fitting.

After the service we rolled out for Kerrville 6.5 hours later I arrived home. I was whooped, drank a beer Shiner Bock and hit the sack then went to bed.

What a trip!