Thursday, February 28, 2013

Wimmin's Work...

Men, as much fun as it may sound to share this little nugget of information with your wive(s) and/or girlfriend(s) it is not suggested or recommended that you do so unless you are already in the middle of divorce proceedings or have some kind of death wish.Whether or not you use this free ammo responsibly is entirely up to you. Share it with your drinking buddies or share it with the girl(s) in your life, but if you choose the latter, you will be doing so at your own peril. You may think that it's okay to share with your ol' lady because the article was written by a woman, but you would be wrong and a fuckin' moron for thinking that.

Normally I would've glanced right over this article, but the first line had me intrigued.
One reason so many American women are overweight may be that we are vacuuming and doing laundry less often, according to a new study that, while scrupulously even-handed, is likely to stir controversy and emotions.
BWAHAHAHAHA! No shit it will! It's also likely to result in some rookie dumbass sleeping on the couch and jackin' off to infomercials on the Mexican channel at 3:00 am for a month because he sent it to his wife from his phone trying to impress his buddies while in a drunken stupor at the bar.

By clicking THIS LINK you acknowledge the risks and the stupidity associated with sharing any information at said link with your wife, girlfriend, sister, mother, daughter or anyone else with a vagina (including Chris Matthews and Piers Morgan) and that by doing so you understand that serious personal injuries or even death may occur as a result from your irresponsible and reckless behavior. Furthermore, you agree to indemnify, defend, hold harmless, and release GGDF and it's partners and contributors from any and all lawsuits, damages, claims, judgments, losses, liability or expenses arising out of the property damage, personal injury or death of your dumbass.

Actually the article isn't that bad, and it isn't really a rip on chicks doing wimmin's work, but most women I know would rather not have to hear that shit; especially from their other half.

Which reminds me of a funny joke my Uncle Jim told at the dinner table when I was a kid:
Q:  Why did the woman cross the road?
A:  Who cares? What the hell was she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?  (rim shot)

"Studies" like this make me laugh because someone actually took all the time and did all the work to compile the data from the last 50 fuggin years, analyze the data only to try and validate their study colossal waste of time by announcing their results like it's some shocking new discovery. It's not even a little new, and definitely not shocking. I think even your average dipshit knows that no matter if you're at your job sitting on your ass or you're at home sitting on your ass all day, you're not burning as many calories as you would be if you were running a fuggin' marathon, and if you're taking in more calories than your body is burning up, chances are you're going to gain a little weight.

UPDATE: Mike sent me the below image to add to this post for a good visual aide.


CenTexTim said...

Why don't women need a watch?

Because there's a clock on the oven.

And there's no way in hell I'm sending that link to my wife. I may be dumb, but I ain't an idiot.

BG said...

If women think they aren't supposed to be cooks, why do they have eggs and milk inside them?

hiswiserangel said...

If I can still walk to the kitchen to make you a goddamn sammich, you need to get back to fucking work.

Fukitol said...

Ha! Merle said it best, Before microwave ovens when a girl could still cook and chop wood.

Yessirree, what was once honorable has now garnered a House Divided, and in Steinem's tit sling ashes of wimmin's hauling their ass off to a cube farm like the schlubs they divorce.

CharlieDelta said...

CTT- LMAO! Nice. I wanted to use that joke, but couldn't remember how it went so I went with Uncle Jim's joke.

hiswiserangel- I didn't expect to gain points with any wimmin' on this post, but I like extra mustard and hold the pickles. ;-)

hiswiserangel said...

German potato salad or steak fries with that, Sir? ;-)

I left academia and a fast track tenureship to be a stay-at-home mommy. I'm not a libber and since I don't work outside the house, I consider this my career. I take great pride in making my family's home warm and welcoming. And cooking is my zen therapy. I am hated by the Steinem crowd.